emilyee

this blog is nothing but math puns, cats, & podcast references. [she/her]

[pansyfemme]

faggot fall is almost upon us! like and reblog if you want a faggot upon you

[browsedankmemes]

[girlic]

[prokopetz]

You’ve heard of Fantasy Costco, now get ready for:

Fantasy Ikea - A vast and echoing hall presided over by a fairy lord turned legitimate merchant (or so they claim!), this oddly sedate bazaar’s household goods – carefully labelled in Old High Elvish – are apparently wholly mundane, though their purchasers often discover unexpected features later on. While it’s relatively safe as fairy markets go, mortal customers are advised against eating the complimentary meatballs.

Fantasy Lowe’s - Originally the headquarters of a dwarven crafting guild set apart from their fellows by their affinity for working in wood rather than stone, this establishment has since grown into a sprawling combination lumberyard and trading post whose workers spend as much time advising on outside projects as attending to their own. Oddly, the guild’s membership is nearly exclusively female, a fact that non-dwarf customers often miss on account of the beards.

Fantasy Starbucks - A tavern bearing the sign of a leaping stag surmounting a pentagram, this establishment will, upon request, add shots of various magic potions to its customers’ drinks. These potions – brewed in bulk by apprentice hedge-mages from locally sourced reagents – are typically quite weak, rarely rising to a level that would warrant any mechanical bonus, though many patrons swear by specific combinations which are claimed to be greater than the sum of their parts.

[savefrog]

Ok so imagine your fantasy setting with your typical giant spiders.

Ok, now imagine that these spiders have largely been domesticated for their incredibly valuable silk. They help make clothes, rope, textiles, even ARMOR. They’re almost treated like carnivorous cows in the regions that can support them. They might even name these girls the classic names like “Bessie”. They’re great mothers and produce many young; useful for trade and… even food if you like The Crunch.

People in this world are hardly afraid of big spiders the same as we’re hardly afraid of big dogs. Wary of wild ones, but not scream and cry terrified. Smaller spiders…it depends. Would you be scared if you suddenly saw a tiny cow crawling on your wall? The only type of spider people collectively fear are the hunting types: the ones that don’t spin webs, and instead attack their prey with brute force and a much stronger venom.

These large domestic spiders are incredibly lazy. They’ll sit in their webs and wait for their handlers to put their food on the web. Unless you get tangled, they don’t see you as food. This makes them great guards as well. They build traps for you. The venom isn’t deadly to humans…but can still be used as a weapon or in medicine. They’re just so damn useful that millennia ago, people put aside their instinctual fear just to get those sweet benefits.

Thank you for attending my TedTalk.

[iamoutofideas]

sorry mate I can’t talk right now I’m being chased by a lit trail of gunpowder

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

Hey what’s that pouring out of your pocket?

[iamoutofideas]

oh god

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

Unlike some people on here I don’t have any weaknesses

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

Don’t worry about why I’m wearing a huge hat

[hobolunchbox]

Come here  

No, you come here

[jerryterry]

unedlted lmage of duog waIker

[dougwalkerofficial]

I Just Killed A Gnome In My Basement.

[le-fishe-has-arrived-deactivate]

So you don’t have to.

[xtragh0stywizard-deactivated201]

WOOP WOOP GET SOME SOUP

[terfslying]

Friendly reminder that bathroom policies hurt all women, not just trans women. Gender non conforming women, and nonbinary dfab people are assaulted because of this trans bathroom debate.

Rain Dove is a gender fluid model who was maced by a cis woman for using a women’s bathroom.

Interestingly the attacker uses a lot of TERFy phrases - “keep your nasty dick away” and “go to the bathroom your ID says to” - which is hilarious as they’re talking to a DFAB non binary person, who was using the correct bathroom by their system but just didn’t “look right”.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[xwu2i92-deactivated20240528]

me: why do i mysteriously feel like crap and keep wasting time doing nothing?

brain: you have depression

me: no that cant be it, it has to be something i did

[kitty]

PLAY WITH SOUND AAAAAAA

[veryfunnymemes]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

i was reading an article about how some professional clowns are afraid IT is going to cause business issues, and this one guy came forward to say he didn’t think it’d be a big deal and everything from his statement to description sounds like something made up for a tumblr shit post:

“‘A load of the folks who say ‘this is terrible for the industry’ have been clowning for about five minutes – they’ve not been through this before,’ says Ian Williams, honorary secretary of Clowns International, which claims to be the world’s oldest clown organisation. ‘It’s not going to kill off clowning. [The TV miniseries adaptation of It, starring Tim Curry] came out 27 years ago. I was clowning then, I’m still clowning now.’”

[iwilleatyourenglish]

i’m sharing this again because this guy is possibly my hero he’s seen it all and does not give a fuck

he was clowning then and he’s clowning now

[wordcubed]

Spent a few moments wondering why clowns are afraid of Information Technology

[aurora-gleam]

now what the hell is going on here

[goweninsane]

Public execution for unfair pricing

[goweninsane]

The revolution has begun

[tmos-time]

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

[geekandmisandry]

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.