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[averagesquire]

edm rat ilya and edm festival emt shane

ilya is rolling and having the time of his fucking life covered in neon paint and body glitter and also a nasty fucking sunburn and getting hauled into shane’s emt tent because his dumbass doesn’t think he needs water to live and shane cooling him down with a towel on his head and getting him water

“Are you an angel??”

“No. Drink some water.”

“Mmmm no. I think you are angel.”

“If that’s what it takes to get you drinking water then sure. Whatever.”

*sips water* “Hmph. Grumpy angel.”

[hr-rep]

#myshane :} #hisproblems

[mina-logan]

I had to make him into TLG Shane

[sisituation]

russian petnames for shane

so ilya likes to mess with shane calling him some random russian petnames, right? no one asked but i have opinions and also work to do but unrelated

first, the long game ones:

moya gazonokosilka (lawn mower) - cursed, pretend it never happened. too random, doesn't sound fun or cute in russian, can't imagine russians saying that to their lovers

moy pomidor (tomato) - actually very cute, love it. shane blushes a lot (ilya is not capable of that for geopolitical reasons) so moy pomidor works perfectly. moy pomidorchik (diminutive) would be even cuter

moy lyubimiy (my love) - works good but skip moy, just lyubimiy

now some of my ideas. not suggesting that ilya would call shane that but i would:

shanezhka (spelling?) (diminutive for a шаньга - fluffy sweet cottage cheese bun) - sounds very close to shane's name and also has this tender suffix at the end that is just perfect for russian ears. why it's perfect? because this nezh (неж) thing at the end is the same as in the word tenderness/genleness (нежность), like hello? also shane is a sweet bun, has sweet buns and needs sweet buns (fuck you, microbiotic diet)

gagarochka (diminutive for a loon) - sounds fun and cute in russian

dushnila (stuffy person i guess?) - just a very natural and quite endearing way to call your boring husband when he is schooling you about that damn one (1) cigarette again

also dushnila sounds very close to dusha (soul), and calling your loved ones moya dusha (my soulmate?) is some deep russian shit. i can totally see ilya messing with shane switching between moy dushnila and moya dusha to check how his russian lessons are going, bonjour

ulitka or ulitochka (snail) - just how we call slow people, and shane is famously a very slow skater. also sounds cute and tender in russian

cursed but zhopa, zhopka (ass) - no jokes, very common petname. playful, fun, rolls off the tongue and has that you are an asshole love you so much undertone

that's it for now, might update later

[saintcainn]

“Forcemasc” you don’t gotta force me. Hit me harder, laugh at me, tease, bully, but you don’t need to force me. I’ll follow, you lead, ask me to jump, and I’ll ask “how high?”

[bloominflowers]

a centaurs appreciation post bc I love these characters and this team with all my heart 💗

[hollanovcat]

chubby retired shane ?

[janehollandeer]

I love premature ejaculation ilya. thinking about ilya going in raw for the first time and coming the second he’s fully inside shane while shane makes fun of him for it but is charmed and flattered all the same literally makes my life worth living

[orchisailsa]

My fandom hot take that should actually be tepid is that I don't think Mr. Jean-Jacques "J.J." Boiziau deserves the hate he gets.

Don't get me wrong, he did not react well to The Whole Thing. I'm not absolving him of ANYTHING there. But deciding that he's irredeemable, deciding he's a bad person, deciding that he's as bad as every other MTL player (save Hayden) is incredibly reductive and, honestly, I hate to say it, but it's pretty fucking immature.

Because in the real world people fuck up. In the real world, people react poorly in highly emotional situations. And it is pretty fucking important, actually if a loved one has had a bad/negative reaction, has done and said hurtful things, but then COMES BACK AND TRIES TO FIX IT, after he has had time to examine why he reacted that way. That is fucking huge. It's huge and it's RARE, and it's so, so good.

J.J. showing up on Shane's doorstep to talk it out is so fucking brave. Shane letting him in (physically and emotionally) and allowing him the opportunity to talk it out is ALSO so fucking brave. And it is truly beautiful and valuable and GOOD that the ten year friendship they have is important enough -- on both sides-- for them to do the hard work to mend it.

Repairing something that has been broken is an important aspect of any long term relationship. It's important for J.J. to see why he was wrong, and for him to be the one to reach out . It's ALSO important for Shane to understand how his secrecy (no matter how well-justified it is) and hiding and lying has impacted ALL of his personal relationships, because a huge theme of the book is that Hollanov don't exist in a vacuum, and cannot live in a vacuum!!!!!

Anyway. I just think the villainous, toxic narrative that some (unfortunately loud) parts of the fandom use to frame J.J. completely erases a part of Shane's healing journey in a way I find to be breathtakingly sad. Yeah.

[f1-obsessed333]

Perfect pairing.

Full credit to @Shuploc on Twitter.

[medrawawi]

[argillaforma]

ilya looking at himself shirtless in the mirror: am i getting too hairy, do you think i should shave some of my body hair?

shane trying to explode ilya with his mind: sure, if you hate me

[elizaisdunn]

₊˚⊹⋆ ˙◠˙⊹₊⟡⋆

tfw you realize killing isn’t the answer and your cousin was lowk right

edit: prints available here!!!

[lycheeek]

Roselana but make it PWHL

[actuallysara]

shane hollander is a jock, a dude, a 200 pounds man, a captain, he's been giving interviews and speeches before he could even walk, he plays in front of thousands and thousands of people and loud af crowds, he's a performer, he's constantly in front of cameras, he's been under scrutiny his whole life, he's an athlete, he breathes-eats-sleeps-shits sport, he swears, he's masculine, his hockey gear is probably putrid, he's a certified mcgymbro™, he only wears athletic stuff, he models, he does commercials, his main personality trait is hockey, he's kissed and hugged by his sweaty teammates in the locker room, he's ripped, he's an asshole, he's sarcastic, he's a bitch, he uses "fuck" every three words, he hires a stylish and a designer because his taste is bro. and he is all that while being neurodivergent too. and a bottom.

[allesfresser]

Oh baby

[snowsmoked]

The MHL decides to partner with Heartthrobs Against Heart Disease for their 2018 fundraising calendar. It's a Canadian non-profit that features various Heartthrobs in various states of undress at their various jobs. They had firefighter editions, teacher editions, and even farmer editions. The MHL sent out an email to a few dozen of Canadian players, asking if anyone had a free day over the summer.

Yuna Hollander does not hesitate to scoop that charitable opportunity up.

They get their 12 players, one for each month. Shane gets his birth month, May. The tagline on top of his photo is: "I may be a two-time Stanley Cup winner, but I still get checked regularly for early onset heart disease."

During the following preseason, Ilya walks in on the Bears howling with laughter about something. Never one to be left out, Ilya demands to know what's so funny. He's passed a Heartthrob Against Heart Disease 2018-2019 calendar and joins in on the laughter as he flips through these idiots. That is, until he gets to May.

Shane is on the ice, a hockey stick slotted across his broad shoulders, arms draped over it. He's shirtless, only wearing gloves and his baggy hockey pants, ridden down on one side to show off the top of his underwear and the deep V just above his hips. They must have had him do pushups because his abs are more defined than usual, deep cuts across his stomach shimmering with a thin layer of sweat. His hair was messed up, like someone had run their hands through it. He was looking directly at the camera, a little smirk on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing. His biceps...

The calendar was snatched from him, which was probably a good thing, if the saliva pooling in his mouth and the tightness of his pants were anything to go by.

That night, away from any prying eyes and on a private browser, Ilya navigates to the Heartthrobs Against Heart Disease website. He about blacks out when he sees the Special Edition: Oops, All Hollander!