he/him hollander girlie

Lev. Occasionally NSFW. My main is Sporkchildren but I’m here now. He/Him. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 27

[gaynehollander]

Ilya thinks playing video games in front of Shane is a couple's activity, even if he's on headset with other people.

Shane only thinks it's a couple's activity if he gets to cockwarm Ilya while he's playing.

[hr-rep]

I love thinking about the movie based off a book that gets made that is obviously based off of Shane & Ilya. Like the author changed a few minor details (chefs that are rivals? Oh I’m sure) but everyone has eyes.

In public? They never speak of it. Private? Ilya is whining that Fake Shane has no freckles :{ so cruel, how they missed the vision :{{{

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[hr-rep]

Ilya holding Shane’s big naturals

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

I'm thinking about how Ilya canonically loves watching it go in,,, I'm thinking about Shane on all fours getting pounded into the fucking mattress, just the way he likes it, whining piteously when Ilya suddenly slows down. I'm thinking about Shane craning his neck, looking over his shoulder through glassy eyes to try and see why Ilya changed the pace. I'm thinking about Ilya not even noticing because he's too slack jawed watching how Shane's stretched rim clings to his thick shaft every time he pulls back, how it clenches desperately around it when he pushes back in, slick lube oozing out, dripping down Shane's taint, getting Ilya's pubes all sticky with it. I'm thinking about Ilya teasing Shane with this slow, grinding pace for aaaages, even as Shane begs and pleads and sobs for more, because he enjoys watching his greedy hole take him too much to stop.

[shanehollandergirl]

absolutely shanesational

[shanehollandergirl]

absolutely sensashanal

[moo-llenium]

I found a Uquiz that needs to be seen

This was mine :)

Oh no....

I think this needs to be a tag game. Someone start it for me cuz I know no one.

@mer-acle @oak-the-crow @themostrandommoon plz tag me if you do this, I'm curious :)

[therealsirstickbug]

😭

@flottes-fiasco @wings-26 @bisexydesaster

[bisexydesaster]

well. alright then. um

@l4w-l1et @jimmysownworld @prince-beetle

[jimmysownworld]

my spelling mistakes are posted because they love me not because i missed them and have no beta and die like a man

@wings-26 @snail-mail-33 @nautilussilk

[snail-mail-33]

thanks for tagging me @jimmysownworld I've been outed as a perv 😭😭 come put yourselves on blast @martelldoran @gimmiekiss1221 @vesnuszki

[vesnuszki]

strangely accurate tbh @allstarrocks @hr-rep @bethnoir-fic

[hr-rep]

They really got my ass with this one ,,, @providing-leverage @myshangel @lavenderprose :}

[gimmiekiss1221]

i just realized that i think shane prefers the left side of the bed, because whenever he and ilya are in bed together, he's on the left and ilya is on the right [minus when they're having sex which has them moving around all over]

but when ilya is with svetlana, ilya stays on the left. which means he either gives up the left side because he knows shane prefers it, or, he wants to be there because that's the place shane's body had been before they 'broke up.'

not sure which option is sweeter/more heartbreaking. possibly both which is the worst of all.

[brattyshanehollander]

and with Rose, Shane is on the wrong side of the bed too :( neither of them is where they should be

[tothecottage]

ilya voice PULL the lever marly

[gaygoatshane]

ilya: i like trouble

the trouble:

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[hr-rep]

Wait no, speak more about Shadowhunters/HR

I have a bunch of fusions that I just have on lock for every new fandom: atla (Shane is ignoring the fact that he's the Avatar to be a pro bender) Percy Jackson (greek/Roman or greek/Egyptian forbidden romance) PacRim (Ilya left the PPDC after the death of his mom/Co pilot) and of course there's always a Leverage AU plus Ilya lived in Boston at the same time as the team so the potential crossovers are infinite.

(TLDR I am cringe but I am free lol)

Okay so. I have two and one of them is normal and the other one is pure indulgence. The first is an outsider POV on (I’m split so you get both) Montreal Institute Head & Boston Institute Head Hollanov that everyone thinks are INSANEEE rivals while they’ve been fucking the whole time OR shadowhunter Ilya and warlock Shane (or perhaps swapped I love both so deeply) that spend MANYY a downworlder council meeting arguing while actually in a committed relationship that they keep very private completely accidentally. Both are beautiful to me :}

My crazy one … okay so. Imma preface this by saying I like considering implications on time travel and universe travel and weird stuff like it so imma hold your hand while we follow along with my stupid brain lol

Anyway! That out of the way! I like considering what if regular hollanov got their souls added into a different universe where they didn’t previously exist as (follow me here) Malec kid and Skip kid. Shane getting raised as Magnus & Alec’s son and Ilya as Scott & Kip’s. The Ilya potential dynamic is CRAZYYY bc what do you mean we were friends and now I’m your son. How am I meant to act while seeing you in a way I never have before. How am I meant to be normal about that? Can I be? What does normal even look like when YOU don’t know me outside of being the kid you’ve adopted, you’ve never seen Ilya Rozanov you’re just seeing the kid. Yeah. I’m bought into the potential weirdness and dynamic that could come from this. And then we have Shane who remembers being the son of Yuna & David and what THAT creates while still hoping to find some connection with this new family (and new brothers???? What the fuck???). We so rarely see in these types of stories a genuine interrogation of what this could Be Like and it’s fucked. And then add the MAGIC of it all???????? Yeah. Nobody is acting normal. This exists as a thought experiment more then anything lol fhdhd

&&& I love these Au’s you’ve offered so beautifully so much . I am rubbing my hands together like a little fly at these, you are so smart and correct ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

[providing-leverage]

I am in fact holding your hand and SPRINTING with you because I have my fandom origins in comic books so mushing these guys into Shadowhunters with the memories of their past lives is actually right up my ally and no weirder than the shit that's happening in dishonor on your cow/that's not a cow or the bat's crest.

Are Scott and Kip also Shadowworld adjacent or are their lives normal and Ilya thinks this is all weird then his husband shows up also with double memory and is like "tada magic is real and my new dads are a half demon warlock and a demon hunter, let's go find the quivilant of my OG parents if they even exist here"? Do Scott and Kip get their memories back too? Or are they weirded out and sad that one say the son they raises suddenly started calling them by their first names (or surnames, in Scott's case)?

Wait no this reminds me of one last fic.

[hr-rep]

BELOVEDDD RECS I WILL READ THEM WITH JOY❣️❣️

In my head I was thinking it’s deeply funny if Scott & Kip are normal mundane Scott and Kip who RECENTLYYY started fostering Ilya so any weirdness can kinda be explained as him,, settling in? I love a good misunderstanding that furthers the plot into a way that is accidentally helpful towards the person (accidentally x2) perpetuating the misunderstanding ,, Ilya floundering in a real way and Scott & Kip are entirely separate from the main plot (w/o memories bc the angry potential here ,, for once I’ll let it lie lollll) while trying to support this weird kid and they. Do? Like it works? Somehow? Which just adds to the weird guilt Ilya experiences but cannot put a name on bc HOW would he???? (Tho…. Perhaps werewolf Kip :} for spiceeee)

[haunted-phantom-student]

Ilya Rozanov wrote this

[hr-rep]

Rose Landry keeps dating gay men because she is more comfortable with men who aren’t attracted to her because she’s a lesbian. She walks away from every date with a straight guy with some ineffable reason he’s Bad And Wrong. I know this in my heart to be true.

It’s a big truth that I’m always considering with love and joy her toxic trait is that she cannot for the life of her look deeper into Why all these men are not what she wants . Refuses to even!!!

[hr-rep]

Wait no, speak more about Shadowhunters/HR

I have a bunch of fusions that I just have on lock for every new fandom: atla (Shane is ignoring the fact that he's the Avatar to be a pro bender) Percy Jackson (greek/Roman or greek/Egyptian forbidden romance) PacRim (Ilya left the PPDC after the death of his mom/Co pilot) and of course there's always a Leverage AU plus Ilya lived in Boston at the same time as the team so the potential crossovers are infinite.

(TLDR I am cringe but I am free lol)

Okay so. I have two and one of them is normal and the other one is pure indulgence. The first is an outsider POV on (I’m split so you get both) Montreal Institute Head & Boston Institute Head Hollanov that everyone thinks are INSANEEE rivals while they’ve been fucking the whole time OR shadowhunter Ilya and warlock Shane (or perhaps swapped I love both so deeply) that spend MANYY a downworlder council meeting arguing while actually in a committed relationship that they keep very private completely accidentally. Both are beautiful to me :}

My crazy one … okay so. Imma preface this by saying I like considering implications on time travel and universe travel and weird stuff like it so imma hold your hand while we follow along with my stupid brain lol

Anyway! That out of the way! I like considering what if regular hollanov got their souls added into a different universe where they didn’t previously exist as (follow me here) Malec kid and Skip kid. Shane getting raised as Magnus & Alec’s son and Ilya as Scott & Kip’s. The Ilya potential dynamic is CRAZYYY bc what do you mean we were friends and now I’m your son. How am I meant to act while seeing you in a way I never have before. How am I meant to be normal about that? Can I be? What does normal even look like when YOU don’t know me outside of being the kid you’ve adopted, you’ve never seen Ilya Rozanov you’re just seeing the kid. Yeah. I’m bought into the potential weirdness and dynamic that could come from this. And then we have Shane who remembers being the son of Yuna & David and what THAT creates while still hoping to find some connection with this new family (and new brothers???? What the fuck???). We so rarely see in these types of stories a genuine interrogation of what this could Be Like and it’s fucked. And then add the MAGIC of it all???????? Yeah. Nobody is acting normal. This exists as a thought experiment more then anything lol fhdhd

&&& I love these Au’s you’ve offered so beautifully so much . I am rubbing my hands together like a little fly at these, you are so smart and correct ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

[smokingrozanov]

Yeah man me and the bros are doing bets on a Hollander-Rozanov divorce on Kalshi. Yeah they fucked up my fantasy stats so I’m rooting against them

[gimmiekiss1221]

i think stalker au shane and ilya eventually end up purchasing their own cottage with extra land so that they can play hunter and prey together whenever they need a vacation and this is their idea of living it up in luxury