I’m trying to find the words to describe what I feel about this tour but.. I can’t. There’s just so much.
I remember that May 5th, I was going to bed and checking tumblr to see if there had been any news yet, but it was too early. So I woke up the next day and I remember having breakfast looking for pictures or videos. I remember being on the car on my way to school and seeing the light-up bracelets thing. I watched two videos that morning, one of them was of the whole stadium lit up, and I think the other one was of I Knew You Were Trouble. I remember I had my mouth wide open, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I also remember looping a video that had mashed up the MUCH COOLER THAN MINE and the AND WE RUUUUN every day for like two weeks lmao. And being sad “knowing” that I wouldn’t get to go to this tour just like it happened with all of the other tours.
I remember my mom saying “Caro.. I’m considering taking you to the US to see Taylor” and how much I smiled when she said those words but at the same time not getting my hopes up because I still thought it was impossible. I remember looking at the ticket prices of almost every show and trying to buy Pit tickets but not being able to. And then finding good tickets for the Miami show. I recall buying them on June 13th. Having them in my hands. I would see Taylor. I finally could say that.
I remember counting down the days. I remember checking the countdown thing I had in my phone and seeing “280 days” and suddenly it was 20 days. I remember getting on a plane knowing that I was getting closer and closer to my idol, and to my dreams coming true. I remember getting to the hotel and seeing the arena from the window, all lit up. I remember when the trucks arrived -oh my, I was dying of excitement that day. I remember the day coming closer and closer until it was the day. I was finally going to see the woman who had been my idol for more than three years. I remember going to the venue in the morning and seeing some groups of people already and my stomach felt like a rock because I was so nervous and excited. And telling my mother to wear her keds instead of the high heels she wanted to put on because it would be a long long day and we would have to run. And being at the queue of the merch shop trying to find a picture of Emma aka @taylorslistofexlovers aka my internet best friend so my mom could help me find her and suddenly hearing a loud “CARO!!” and feeling someone’s arms around me (side note: I have tears in my eyes as I’m writing this). I remember meeting @miserablemagics and her squad. And finally getting into the venue and realizing it was so huge and I was in the same place as Taylor was which had never happened to me before. And going to the Taylor Nation booth and meeting Tania ( @tanialovestaylor ) and her being so nice to me. And Vance Joy playing and me starting to realize that it was about to start. I remember listening to the songs waiting for Feel so Close to come up at any minute. And talking (even more) to Emma and hugging her every two seconds because I couldn’t believe I was physically with her. I remember when Feel so Close came up -WHAT A MOMENT. I started to dance and I remember screaming to my mother things like “TAYLORS COMING OKAY” and the happiness on my mother’s face because she had always wanted me to see me happy just like in that moment (side note two: in 2013 for my birthday she posted on my facebook wall and she wrote she hoped that all my dreams came true and she specially mentioned going to Taylor’s concert someday). When Taylor came out I didn’t record it. I wanted to fully live the moment. And I did. I danced until the very end of the concert. I had fun, screamed, jumped, danced, sang. I remember her looking at me and smiling during Shake it Off. And I remember forgetting (pretty ironic, huh?) about loft all night and really enjoying the show. I seriously can’t thank Taylor enough for all of these memories I’ll always keep in my heart.
I remember sitting outside the venue and my mother wanting to get me into loft ilegally lol, and me saying “It seems like it just wasn’t meant to be mom, it’s okay. I still had the best night of my life”. And feeling kinda sad but also not being able to stop smiling because it had happened.
I recall being at the airport, with my light-up bracelet on, thinking about what had happened the night before.
Taylor, thanks for inspiring me, for giving me something so special to share with my mother, for being so nice to everyone, for always being there for me even if it’s through music, for following me on here, for making me so happy. I love you so much.
PS if any of you actually took the time to read this I love you and thank you!
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