[erosia-rhodes]

Actual Google results for “World’s Greatest Detective”:

[flowergrenades]

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[general-illyrin]

How many side blogs do you have?

0

1-5

6-10

11-15

16-20

21-25

26-30

31-35

36-40

41+

Voting ended onFeb 3, 2023

[general-illyrin]

If you vote, please reblog so it can reach more people.

(I wouldn't normally ask, but this is a serious poll that I am genuinely interested in learning the results of.)

[thickness-protection-program]

[freshpickle]

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

[duncebento]

[va-draws]

A moment of light during the siege

[silly-jellyghoty]

It really does feel like that

[rhube]

What happens when you don't report pornbots

What you can see here are among the most popular posts for the convin (Connor/Gavin Detroit Become Human) tag for the last month. And presumably lollipop, cityscape, rick day, eva long, dostoyevsky, and all the other random, unrelated tags added to these posts.

You can see two identical posts made by separate bots that feature a bit.ly (so, disguised, you don't know whether the address is safe/where you're going) link to a website that contains an image of a pretty young woman (but who knows what else).

Each post is liked by about a dozen other bots, and only bots. (I reported them all, so can confirm their profiles were obviously those of bots/porn bots.) Some of them even use the same image in the pfp. Some are developed blogs full of porn images, some are clearly newer and don't even have a pfp yet. They are all gaining legitimacy from each other by the likes which act as links to their Tumblrs, and adding legitimacy to the post they have liked, which links to their ultimate goal: the site where they make money in undoubtedly dodgy ways.

They are doing this to legitimise their websites for search engines like Google, but if you don't care about that, it has the same effect in your Tumblr tags.

If we don't stop them, ALL your favourite hashtags are going to be full of meaningless posts like this, and probably porn you don't want to see (very different from porn you DO want to see).

This is why we report and block, lads. Not just because they are annoying and irrelevant to us, but because if we don't stop them they will take over this hellsite, and they very clearly do not understand the nature of the hell in which we live.

[runby2]

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

[saxophonechihuahua]

[vikhargreeves]

[ID: a headline that says, “Not A Good Sign: This Zookeeper Is Hauling Ass”. end ID]

[nicole-the-hololynx]

finally gonna start making the Among Us Chicken Nuggets.

the bag says something about how I should "find the impostor". that's not encouraging

[nicole-the-hololynx]

there are 14 amongi in the bag, so it's a bit more crowded than the usual lobby

[nicole-the-hololynx]

cooking them rn.

started looking at the ingredients list to see if I can get some clues regarding the "impostor" nugget. I see a few ingredients that I don't quite think are usual nugget fare (sugar, onions, pepper, garlic)

[nicole-the-hololynx]

Bone App The Teeth

[nicole-the-hololynx]

they were pretty good! tasted about how you'd expect for cheap nuggets

we never did end up finding the impostor tho. was that a joke?? did I miss something?? did one of us eat a fucked up nugget without even noticing??

[nicole-the-hololynx]

NO WAY

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

I genuinely think @staff should give us an official Bot Kill Count where it ticks up every time a bot you reported is officially taken off by the tumblr team and when you hit a certain number you get gruesome little trophies. Gamification can be of the devil but in this particular case I need a little treat for doing my daily chore of taking out the trash

[fischotterkunst]

my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

[the-indigo-symphony]

A small PSA to all those new to dealing with the porn bots that Tumblr now has a fresh wave of – I understand that when you go to report them, you want to report them as "[containing] sexually explicit material", but don't do that. Report them as spam instead.

These are spam bots flooding tags and the website in general with spam links. They often do not have anything sexually explicit on their blog (although they often have implicit material). Plus, these two reports get very different results. Reporting explicit material gets the bot slapped behind an 18+ wall, so minors can't check if they're a bot or not. Reporting spam gets the bot taken down.

Remember, folks: when dealing with a bot, report spam, not smut!

[draintheblood]

heard porn bots might be following you guys again. sorry about that. but in some good news i have been gaining many new followers who are real stunningly beautiful women. welcome ladies :)

[ahordeofwasps]

What the past couple days have felt like

[catchymemes]