The Secret Life Of The American Fangirl @frischgebacken - Tumblr Blog

Whatever you do, don't think about what happens to Grace's biodome after he dies. Don't think about it becoming a monument to the first inter-planetary friendship. Don't think about the generations of Eridian scientists who will visit it to learn about Earth and prepare for visits when they work out the whole space-travel thing outside of an extinction-level emergency.

Any whatever you do, do NOT think about the little Eridian schoolkids who go there on class trips and play in the water in their special exo-suits and listen to lessons that Grace pre recorded while he was still alive and become inspired to be biologists and astronauts and teachers themselves.

Don't imagine Rocky joining them, so that he can hear his old friend teaching children about the wonders of science once more and pretend, just for a moment, that he's still there with them.

thecraftgremlin

Where’s that one post that’s like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.

stargirl-and-potts

Reasons my human has cried:

* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.

* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.

* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.

* I told him Earthsun grew bright.

* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.

* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.

* Before class he heard younglings singing.

* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”

* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.

* He missed “Doritos.”

* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.

* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.

* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.

* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.

* Told him to think long time, stay with me as long as he can.

littledeviantsworld-deactivated

bilf (book i'd like to finish)

stormsthatrage

Heated Rivalry AU where Ilya dips out early from a post-game party with Boston, and someone gets the idea to put on a Hollonov compilation as a joke.

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.

Cliff asks aloud, to no one in particular, "Are we just stupid?"

darkspaceboytoy

Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually don’t think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you can’t point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.

heatedarchive

The only thing stopping Shane Hollander from being open about his sex life with his close friends is that it would out him. As soon as they know he's gay? Shane Hollander, who chose to make a joke about how much he likes bottoming immediately after acknowledging he's not straight for the first time, during a breakup conversation in a public place? He would be a fucking menace

fireflymoonwitch

Couple of people asked for recs in the comments, and I’ve literally spent 7 hours going through all my bookmarks.

I have too many to fit in a comment so here ya go:

Girls talk boys by Asshole_who_writes_porn - Shane and Rose get tipsy and talk about his relationship with Ilya.

Gossip Girl by Northisnotup - seconding the recommendation by @satanssorrysoul in the comments. Shane has dinner with the Pikes and Rose, and ends up coming out and talking about his boyfriend.

Raise your glass to freedom (and a good old trimming) by phlebotinxm - drunk Shane gives a TEDtalk on anal sex to the Centaurs.

Unhinged Love by Madfordinos - WIP, outsider POVs of Hollanov being kinky and cosmically down bad for each other. Shane and Kip have a very frank discussion of sex in chapter 3.

pretty boring by goldengalaxies - outsiders realising Shane is not as boring as his reputation suggests. Including this because of Shane’s confessions during Never Have I Ever.

I may be bad (but I'm perfectly good at it) by gurlsrool - various outsider POVs of people realising that Shane is kinky.

Finisher of Holes (Allegedly) by tintatalk - a typo leads to an unfortunate nickname. Shane decides to own it.

Social Media Fics

Putting these in their own category because most of them rely on Shane using the anonymity of ‘Jane’ to be as outspoken as he wants about his sex life.

Jane is Ilya’s Favourite Lay by That_bitch_without_a_life - WIP, rookie Ilya adds Shane to the Boston WAG chat as a way to bond with his team. This backfires on him spectacularly when Shane’s confessions about their situationship result in a vast network of unionised WAGs all trying to get Ilya to cut his fuckboy bullshit, or set Jane up with someone else.

First Time WAG by DadMight - another fun Jane in the WAG chat fic, post-Cottage pre-Ottawa trade.

unknowingly knowing by birdy1171 - WIP, the Boston players steal Jane’s number and become her friend. ‘Jane’ gleefully flaunts ‘her’ ability to influence Ilya with sex. Crack and fluff texting fic, where Montreal are not homophobic assholes.

Jane and Lily are rivals on hockey twitter by MoonlitSunrise - Shane and Ilya each make a stan account for the other, letting little details of their actual relationship slip through.

Lily & Jane Take Over Twitter by winter1477 - stan accounts, rpf, and thirsting galore - except in this one the Cens figure out just who is running the Lily and Jane accounts.

Ilya Rozanov- Harris's Worst Nightmare by justbuckingaround - WIP, okay this one is primarily Ilya being a rage-baiting menace on Twitter BUT occasionally Shane gets very thirsty on main

Battle of the Bottoms by maximum_gender - This one is a spin off to the excellent SocMed series the secret society of stick handlers (where the various lgbt players team up to support each other) so I’d recommend reading that first for context. In this one, Luca and Shane go shopping for sex toys and talk about their relationships and sexualities.

sheherlockholmes

people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying

sheherlockholmes

aslongasitsblack

thinking about how because shane is usually so repressed and restrained that when he is taken out of that mindset by that good dick its never like he’s performing or putting on a show in fact the complete opposite

all that moaning, whining, arching, every face he makes, every heavy breath, every teary eyed look, ever desperate grasp of the hand is REAL, coming from the very centre of his soul, like he’s truly letting loose and being driven to the edge, not just acting it all out, and he’s doing it all at the hands of ILYA, every one of these reactions is breaking through six layers of hollander self control

and thinking about how mind numbingly fucking hot that exactly is for ilya

(like imagine u are a guy who has soooo much sex all the time, u could get laid any second of any day, but here comes a guy who genuinely acts like you dicking him down is the only real tangible thing in the world. and he’s a total slut for it!)

(and i think this is exactly what takes ilya by surprise the first few times they hook up, he has no idea how hungry shane is for it, and how much he’s going to let it show because he just can’t help himself!!!)

unlikelychildchaos

My headcanon of the day is that Ilya is not used to getting calls from family members unless they need something from him. Nobody ever calls him (maybe apart from Shane) to just simply check up on him. So the first time David calls him on a random day of the week, asks him about his day, hands the phone to Yuna to do the same—Ilya is a little confused as to why these people are just randomly calling him. He even texts David after they've hung up to confirm if they needed something and have just forgotten to mention it. When David texts back "no son we just wanted to check up on you" Ilya sits and stares at that text until he feels his throat close up and there's an odd sting in his eyes.

hollandershane

#you a princess to the public, but a freak when it's time 🎶

gaynehollander

Thinking about Ilya being Shane’s captain in Ottawa and giving a “fucking fuck San Francisco”-esque speach. It ends and Shane’s just like, “you guys get out there, I’m just gonna inhale this man’s cock real quick, we’ll be there in five.”

gaynehollander

No because the way Shane instigates sexual contact almost immediately after Ilya hugs him to his chest on the couch in his home in Boston is literally so autistic coded.

Ilya has always been so direct with his expectations and his expectations have always been sex but now he’s suddenly acting differently and it’s nice but Shane also has no idea how to interpret this change. He doesn’t know what prompted it and he doesn’t know how he’s expected to react to it.

So Ilya hugs him to his chest and it feels really good but is he supposed to hug him back? No, right? That would be crossing a line, surely. Is he supposed to just lay exactly where Ilya placed him? How long can he do that until it becomes weird for Ilya?

So he makes it sexual because that’s familiar by now. That’s comfortable. He knows that will be received favourably and there’s little to no risk of overstepping.

gaynehollander

Ilya Rozanov has been with a lot of people in his time, mostly women, sure, but a few men. Enough men. Thing is, though, that he has never met anyone, regardless of gender, who loves sex as unabashedly as Shane does.

That first night, he fell to his knees entirely unprompted; pushed through his nerves and inhaled Ilya's cock like a drowning man, gasping for air.

In a Nashville hotel room with his teammate next door, every nerve ending on fire, the risk palpable, Ilya - unable to resist pushing him - told him to get on his knees and he barely got the words out before he was there. As though all he'd been waiting for was permission to indulge.

Every time Ilya enters him, Shane’s mouth goes lax, and that first moan sounds like holy prayer.

And Ilya Pleasure Top Rozanov fucking lives for that shit. Having experienced it, he doesn't know how anyone else will ever do.

Shane Hollander has always been awkward about sex. He's been with a few people, sure but it's never really lived up to the hype. Maybe because most of them were women but he tried it with a couple of guys too and it just... it wasn't great. Except for with Ilya.

That first time, he kissed him so tenderly even after Shane told him it was a terrible idea. He looked beyond the words and knew when to push Shane beyond what he was willing to admit he wanted. He made jokes, poking light fun of Shane in a way that made him feel relaxed rather than stupid. He made sex feel easy and light and good.

Ilya seems to instinctively understand how Shane struggles sometimes when he doesn't know what's expected of him. He makes his desire explicit; he says what he wants, he tells him when Shane does good. It relieves a lot of the pressure that usually surrounds sex. He doesn't have to guess.

Every time he enters Shane, he can feel him checking in, even when it's non-verbal, and the firm press of him inside his body paired with that attentive gaze makes him feel free enough to finally let go.

And Shane, who's spent all of his life repressing his instinct to fit into what is unsaid but expected of him, fucking loves that shit. Having experienced it, he doesn't know how anyone else will ever do.