๐๐ก๐จ ๐๐ฆ ๐?
๐๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐: ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ?
+ ๐ณ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด
Growing up, I never actually had the time to ask myself (who am I?) I have always seen myself as a chameleon and camouflaged myself whatever person wants to see me.
And that was what I thought the best way possible to connect myself to the crowd, society, or whatever human existence there is.
My childhood years actually influenced this trait on me while growing up. I always thought that enable to become friends with another person is that I shall be the ideal friend for him/her/them so, in the long run, it will appear the idealist friendship of all. At first, it was all fun and games but in the end, I just end up giving them expectations that lead to dissatisfaction, with that, they turn cold and just leave me.
You see there on I don't even see myself for myself... I always feel dictated to be someone else not to be me.
Sometimes I just feel I'm not human at all.
My mandala is all about the pet cat that I had back in elementary school.
Her name was "Donny" a Calico cat.
Our first meeting was when I was waiting for my school bus to arrive she was the first cat that approached me without hesitation I thought that "OH maybe she just wanted food" but that wasn't the case I thought that it was a short encounter and she'll never come back. But then again when I arrived back home from the school bus she hurriedly welcomed me.
And that moment struck me I knew that this encounter is gonna to last me forever and so we adopted her.
We didn't let her stay inside our house since my sister is allergic to fur. And so we decided just to let her in the garden and freely roam around.
Back then my days with her is a day worth living. Every day is a day filled with hope, going home because someone is waiting for you. She is an enjoyable cat to be with, in fact, she was like a "Golden Retriever" because of her energetic friendly nature.
She is what I will call the best friend I ever had this might sound weird but she Is the one that made me realize that
"you don't have to change for someone just to like you, maybe they like you just because you are you"
But then again... she left, one morning she didn't show up, and the day after that... One morning the neighbor just told us she was run over by a car and the garbage collectors just cleaned it up.
I never had the chance to say goodbye.
The cycle just kept repeating the moment I finally happy things don't go the way you wanted them to be...
And so That's how I managed to make my mandala inspired by my cat I designed it with the flowers because she was always in the garden. And she was my best friend I ever had.
Movies on the GIFs: Ghost in the Shell (1995)
