miles to go before I sleep

this is where I put the things I write. I'm not very good. I like foxes, and robert frost.

[frost-and-foxes]

hi carla! i didn't know you wrote hugot poetry hahaha

it's old HAHA not worth much anymore

[frost-and-foxes]

this blog scares me. I haven't touched it in forever. I'm no longer in love with the person that most of these were about, and the words I wrote feel scary. hollow and empty. shells of something gone. ghosts of something dead. I'm terrified to write about the boy I'm in love with now. I'm terrified to put into words the fire he makes me feel. the last time I wrote about someone I loved, I turned him into a metaphor and forgot the truth that lay behind it. I fell in love with the fanciful image of him I made. he became blurred. I didn't see his flaws because he was shrouded in a veil of my own making. I cant do that to who I love now. who deserves to be real, and deserves to be loved by me in the most genuine way (instead of being turned into another character in my poems)

[frost-and-foxes]

you write like lang leav, is that kind of poetry one of your inspirations?

I actually am not too fond of her style! which makes me a little sad. But I hope that means that you like it :) 

this writing is a little outdated. I haven’t touched this in more than a year so I’m sorry 

[frost-and-foxes]

You drink every week and smoke every day, and have done every drug I know, so forgive me for wondering if I am merely just another thing to make you numb.

1:33 am (via frost-and-foxes)

it turns out I was. and when you found new drugs and new vices and new girls to get you high,

you didn't need me anymore.

[frost-and-foxes]

I don’t know which is worse. the thought of you still loving me or the possibility that you don’t.

I'm not sure I know what I want from you anymore

[frost-and-foxes]

There wasn’t a big fight, or dramatic exit. We didn’t grow to hate each other or do anything out of spite. No, the end came because Your love for me simply whittled away, To make room for more important things.

1:16am

[frost-and-foxes]

I hope you wake up every day knowing that I love you. I wish you'd go to bed remembering that you loved me.

12:23 am

[frost-and-foxes]

you've always had these walls up. but the person you wear on the outside, at the bars and clubs, that's just the surface you.  I know who you are.  you never had to prove it to me. I think you do what you do to prove it to yourself. but, my love, that just isn't the way. I'm so scared you're going to lose yourself further. you're flying. I know that you are. I won't be the one to keep you stuck on the ground. but please,  don't fly too close to the sun. I'll be here when you want to come back down, and when your wings melt off -- I'll try to catch you before the ocean does.

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday (c.v)

[bpd-ghosts]

hello, i’m fox! my pal, sylph, and I have been in the bpd community of tumblr for a while but we only decided to make a joint blog for it recently. so this blog is a bpd blog ran by two ghosts and since this is fairly new, I was wondering if you guys could like/reblog if you blog about bpd and we’ll check out yours and probably give it a follow! yay!

also like if u wanna follow back that’s cool too!!! haha we don’t bite promise also we’re cute

[frost-and-foxes]

this is my bpd blog! I know I haven’t been writing much poetry, things have been hard. but give me a follow!

[frost-and-foxes]

where do you go when home is a person who doesn't want you there?

thing haven’t been okay between us (9:38 am)

[frost-and-foxes]

sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I'm working on a new poem tho. hopefully I finish it soon

[frost-and-foxes]

the edges of days are blurring together and I don't know what to do. my moods are going crazy, and I wish I had anti-psychotics again because I can't handle these mountains anymore. I can't even write properly and it's killing me. Every thing I come up with I delete or crumple up or burn. I don't know what's wrong with me I think I'm broken maybe I finally snapped in half.

[frost-and-foxes]

I am happy, and not because I know I will be okay someday, but because I know I will be okay some days. and those days will be worth living for.

maybe this is what recovery feels like.

[frost-and-foxes]

Even if we both wanted to die, the nights I shared with you made me feel so alive.

(6:52pm)

[frost-and-foxes]

He makes me sad all the time. He acts weird and is distant. He sais its because he is having a hard time. I love him but we spend days without talking because if i dont text first he doesnt and he can never go out to see me. I love him. What do i do?

I’m so sorry I didn’t see this message until now!

Well hmm.. the most I can give you is my opinion really. I think, if you really love him, you hold on a little? He says he’s having a hard time, and maybe he really is. Does he show you that he loves you back, though? Like, aside from not talking, how does he act when you do talk?

I think maybe you should talk to him seriously. Tell him that you really really want to talk and that it’s important and you want him to set aside time for you. If you can, go see him instead. Then tell him everything about how alone and scared you’re feeling. Try to make him understand that you know he’s having a hard time, and you want to give him space, but that you’re also there to help him no matter what and you can help carry his burden. Talk to him about it, and try to be as open and understanding as you can.

I struggle with pretty severe abandonment issues, so I can really relate to the fear and anxiety that comes from the feeling of being ignore. It always helps with me and my boyfriend when I let him know that I miss him and as clingy as I may sound, all I really want to do is spend time with him and help him with whatever he needs.

I hope this helps! feel free to message me more on/off anon I’ll try to help as much as I can!

[frost-and-foxes]

It was just a bad day. That seemed to be what my life was, A never ending string of just bad days.

5:12 am and I haven’t slept (via frost-and-foxes)

[frost-and-foxes]

so I’m reading the tags on my most popular post, the quote about being homesick, and it’s an odd feeling. It’s nice knowing that I relate to thousands of people on such a personal level with just one quote, but then it’s also sad seeing how many people are sad. 

like the world is shit and I hate it I hate having to see all these wonderful people feeling so alone and lost, like they don’t belong anywhere. 

I know how horrible it is, I wrote the quote.