spark joy, chucklefucks

Salt. Fandom. Queer bullshit. Visit me on ao3. [Icon by Johnny Headphones.]

[frostyemma]

It's my 14 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

... well, damn

[peachybeam]

[nomailday]

Oh thank goodness there’s still time for this.

Oh who am I kidding it’s always time for this. 

[frostyemma]

I don't care that I'm 3 days late. Have Tuxedo Santa

[izunias-meme-hole]

GOODBYE TO THIS FUCKASS YEAR-

[why-i-love-comics]

[5bi5]

So I was thinking about this post

May I present to you: the least to most specific movie night ever, ranked.

[rexim-djm]

[what-even-is-thiss]

I see people in my life be so confused as to why Europe has less drunk driving than the US does even though a lot of European countries have higher rates of alcohol use than we do and like buddy. It’s because drunk Europeans can get home without a car.

When there’s no designated driver in the US your options are hire an expensive cab or uber, walk ten miles on the side of a highway, or drive home drunk.

Europeans can just walk. Or take a tram. Or drunkenly ride a bike. They have pubs under every trash bin. They have usable buses. Even if they’re ruining their livers they at least won’t have to die in a car crash about it.

[redfireroseblog]

Such a well-balanced team 👌

[frostyemma]

Usagi's so real for this though

[recaption]

[undisclosed-desires-3]

:)(:

[frostyemma]

PFFT. That's loser talk, Luna

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

tomorrow i will ride an elephant sized isopod into a crowded public area and we will all find out what happens next together

[oniongarlic]

[damazcuz]

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

[frostyemma]

[simplymarge1974]

[autistobrat]

absolutely hate it when I wake up tired like what the fuck did I lie unconscious for

[baddywronglegs]

[a-sinister-wizard]

[keire-ke]

Delighted to learn Stuckies are so far under Feige’s skin he needs to shell out millions for Evans to come back and loudly affirm how heterosexual Steve Rogers is

No notes, Kev, wish you a very heated hockey dreams this Christmas

[frostyemma]

I don't even go here anymore but damn I love that

[allhailthe70shousewife]

[frostyemma]

Daddy car, Mommy car, Baby car

[funnuraba]

every wikipedia entry for a comic book character is like

Classic Era: Professor Two-Apes was created when a bored alien glued two gorillas together with a magic rock. He later turned to evil when a colleague took credit for his research. In his debut appearance, Professor Two-Apes turned the Eiffel Tower into a banana.

Modern Era: Tu-Apes was the result of years of painful animal experimentation. He killed the doctor who created him, stole the blood-stained diploma off his wall, and now wears it around his neck. In the Conflagration crossover event, he was seen being beaten to death with one of his own spines. He was later resurrected by Satanists and currently suffers from a debilitating heroin addiction.

[eternal-gromnommer]

@funnuraba how dare you tempt my idle and sinful hand

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Oh my god Tu-Apes is back and more bananas than ever :D

[heydocverdant]

This is painfully accurate, though it’s missing this section:

Other appearances

A reimagined Tu-Apes appeared in the first season of The Man, a 2013 television adaptation of the comic book character Arrow-Man, appearing in the episode “Ape-2”. This version of the character is known as Dr. Thomas April (Dean Cain), a human scientist working to develop a new kind of super-heroin for the international drug cartel A.P.E. Dr. April is forcefed a super-heroin laced banana by The Man (Dylan Sprouse) during an interrogation, causing him to slowly grow “gorilla-like tumors” across his body before he was put in The Man’s secret private prison. April is later seen in the episode “Yellow Hat”, where he is killed when the eponymous villain steals his gorilla-cancer to make into a dirty nuke

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“DR APRIL!

You have inadequately served this community!”

The Man, before heroically trying to murder this character, possibly

[failure-to-adult]

This is also missing another crucial Other Appearances:

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Peter Dinklage have been cast to portray the Tu-Apes version of Professor Two-Apes in Blurry Boy: Beyond the Blur.[1]

[1] A blurry picture of The Rock and Dinklage in green suits against a green background. They have been ducttapes together and are wearing motion capture beads on their faces. There are no other human beings on the set.

[heydocverdant]

Little do fans suspect that production on the Blurry Boy reboot has been stalled because the Rock keeps trying to get the studio to give him a full spin-off movie. Not Peter Dinklage though, just the Rock; ol’ Dwayne’s got a vision and he’s convinced that One-Ape is sure to shake up the hierarchy of power in the FCEU (Funnuraba Cinematic Enhanced Universe)

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

I hate all of this because none of it is wrong.