laurel

cleveland. i make music and have a cat named gus. this is basically a diary

[frownsatisfaction]

long time, no see

ive been spending so much time in my room lately. lots of crafting, writing, and watching tv & movies.

i learned how to use a sewing machine for a secret santa gift a couple weeks ago. ive also been spending a lot of time putting things on my walls, and ceilings. here's a really low qual pic of one of my walls. its coming along!!!

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radiohead again

i was listening to the new live album today at work and wrote down some thoughts during this song. (i'm okay btw)

"like i was losing all my blood and my skin was getting sucked closer to my bones. my shoulders started to drop as i turned around to look outside the window to see if the sun had come out yet. it didnt. it stopped pouring though, just sprinkles now

this music makes me uncomfortable. it makes me feel so fucking gross sometimes. this song sounds so good in my noise cancelling headphones that i dont feel like i deserve to listen to it sometimes. i think if i saw radiohead live it would ruin my experience with the band. i want my eyes to fill up with blood after ive been shot in the head so that my eyeballs can fall out and i can finally be dead.

like meeting an online friend in person. leave that shit to the internet so youre not dissapointed. 

i decided to wear a tank top today with my sweatpants and a zip up. i dont know if its a disproportionate issue but my zip up always slips down my (my) left shoulder so you can see the strap on my tank top. the piano at the end kills me and with the little cheers from the crowd im like what the fuck is going on and why am i not there right now. maybe i do want to see radiohead live? "

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coolparty4ever.com

its been foreverrrrr since ive been on here because life is so chaotic and im tired pretty much all day everyday.

anyways im going to start posting things on my bands website in a blog... so now i have not one but TWO places to bitch and cry and complain about everything and then every once and a while upload a lengthy album review when i get my shit together. check it out if you feel so inclined.

kisses!

[spooksier]

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

[spooksier]

STOP listening to the demon of capitalism and START listening to the angel of hedonism, i love you i believe in you keep making what you love forever ok?

[missmisnomer]

As important to hear for new artists as it is for seasoned veterans. Sometimes we forget. Me especially.

Go out and make the art 12 year old you would have gone feral over. Be cringe and have fun (੭ˋᵕˊ)੭ ~✨️

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snarls & bobby d on b&w film

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bobby d in the baggu !

[s4dpngs]

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thoughts on this?

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recent thoughts and cameron winter

so so so much going on.

i deleted and deactivated my instagram account today and pulled my bands website from well... existing.

i dont like the internet. and i could never imagine being a celebrity and having my whole life available for anyone to read about.

i also lost my film camera and am not happy about it.

anyways, i've really gotten into the album heavy metal by cameron winter. i am a HUGE Geese fan (and even more specifically, a cameron fan), but have not given this album the attention it deserves until recently.

i highly recommend listening to drinking age. perfect song for someone in their early twenties with no clue about what is going on ever.

lyrics:

I don't know If I'm Ever gonna stop Reminding myself Everything is lying Today, I met who I'm gonna be from now on And he's a piece of shit, yeah

Table by the door Wallet on the ground Bag of rubber bands Everything is lying

From now on this is who I'm gonna be This way, a piece of me

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bon iver - the wolves (act 1 and 3)

i remember being too young and having this song saved as my favorite song to cry to. i would get so upset with the silly middle school and highschool drama that was happening in my life. like when my “best friend” at the time started a rumor about me using information that i had trusted her to keep to herself. i would come home from school -a catholic school mind you- and sit and cry to bon iver. i still do that now, but i am home from work rather than a class. growing up is hard. it doesnt even seem to matter the age. growing up from 10-13 is hard. growing up from 19-21 is hard. im sure growing up from 55-60 is hard too. it almost makes me scared to grow older…. but who knows if life will even be a concept at that point. everything could be on fire, but literally and actually on fire. 

im fine now btw

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here's a vlog of my friends and i's trip to new york city

my girls- animal collective

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thinking about twilight

so a couple weeks ago i got the twilight soundtrack on vinyl (very pretty vinyl pressing, like a silver color with purple and blue speckles on it, almost glitter-like). i put it on tonight while finishing up a couple craft to-do's i had and it just reminded me about how actually awesome twilight is.

i love music, and i love soundtracks (when they're good) and DAMN does this sountrack go HARD and match the vibe of the movie so well. my dream job is to pick songs for soundtracks. for now i just make cute, short vlogs of my friends and i and pick nice songs for the background.

but yeah i love twilight, all the movies pretty much. ive collected so much movie (and book) memorbilia over the past couple of months too. as im writing this i am staring at my edward barbie doll on my desk.

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u know like that one video where he says what da hellllllll oh my god

[smuellll]

the best live performance of a song ever? perhaps. thank you Isaac Wood

song is Basketball Shoes by Black Country, New Road (live from the Queen Elizabeth Hall)

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My thoughts on Ants From Up There by Black Country, New Road

Hi,

My name is Laurel. I’m 21, and an avid music enjoyer. I’ve been listening to music basically my entire life- before then even. I have been playing music since age 10. I have been writing music since age 20. I love nothing more than listening to music. I mean that, literally. Take what I say with a grain of salt if you are a lyric person- I rarely listen to lyrics. Here is an album review of one of my favorite albums of all time. -and I mean that too. Bear with me as I’m trying to figure out my flow song-by-song on how I want to write these reviews. This is just for fun, and for my own enjoyment- so my writing will not be proper English and is to be taken with a grain of salt.

Ants From Up There - Black Country, New Road

“Intro”- 54 seconds long. In 54 seconds this band has managed to create the perfect opener to a perfect album. It sounds like the beginning of a new life, Summertime mostly. For how short it is, and with no lyrics, I think this song really speaks for itself. This short, but sweet song starts you off on the right foot to experience the rest of the heartbreaking and gut wrenching album. I think this is the most uplifting song on the album. 

“Chaos Space Marine”- This is my least favorite song on the album, sorry. I like that they follow the lead of “Intro” a bit here. I think the pauses in the main riff is what throws me off, as it sets the song up, right from the start, with a theatrical feel. I am not a fan of musical theatre, sorry. The rest of the song is very good, and something I would listen to, but the main riff right at the beginning really throws me off. I would say this is the second-most uplifting song on the album.

“Concorde”- The beginning automatically has me hooked. The bass line harmonizing/matching the guitar line? Wow. The chorus is amazing, but the post-chorus is even better. The guitar and piano playing the same line together, and the drum part. It’s all so simple but works so well. I really love the drums throughout the whole song. The second post-chorus part includes a saxophone (or some kind of horn. disregard my uneducated brain for the brass world) and this elevates this musical line even more. After that, there is a full band cut-out with a new bass line and everyone gradually comes back in. Here comes the end! There’s a bit of a build up here, and it’s a good one. (you’ll notice a pattern of these throughout the whole album) Something these musicians pull off very well in all their music is a f*cking build-up. Then the outro- the best part of the song in my opinion. Awesome, no words. 

“Bread Song”- Now I am not a lyrics person, but when I got this album on cd, I read through the lyrics from the booklet while listening to this one. “Okay, well I just woke up. And you already don’t care” -yikes dude. What a way to grab your audience right from the start. You got me listening! The soft but uncomfortable guitar in the beginning. It hurts. Then, a violin comes in keeping on only one note for a good chunk of time. Then, the whole band starts to come in and it’s a very dark, almost rumbling sound from the band as the vocalist sings what I think is the chorus. This part then becomes so large with sound towards the end, I can only imagine what this song feels like live. Now we’re onto the second verse, which has a very interesting almost tapping drum part. I can hear it, he’s drumming onto the rim of his drum, then slowly brings in some hi-hat & bass drum action. This song also has a short build-up, but does not have a “breakdown” per say. It kinda just… fades out? In a very beautiful way, too. Which is perfect, and I wouldn’t want Bread Song to end any other way. 

“Good Will Hunting”- Okay that opening? What even is that sound? I am hooked. This guitar part? I’m so into it. This band KNOWS how to write a guitar line to get you HOOKED right when it starts. The verse is very short on this song, and then you get hit by the pre-chorus. This features backup vocals from one of the girls, and I adore it. She’s adding so much to the song. That weird opening sound (must be some kind of synth) comes right back in the chorus, where our lead vocalist is starting off by mentioning Billie Eilish? Lol. This part is also very cool because the chorus starts with the band dropping out. It’s just our vocalist with the synth, guitar, and a drum tapping to keep time. Then we hear the violin, saxophone, and bass come in with crucial parts in making the chorus just sound completely different than the rest of the song. The band drops out again post-chorus, and we are left with an almost uncomfortable sounding violin part, which I like. Then boom! The second verse comes in strong with a piano doubling the guitar part, awesome. The second chorus ends with a full band rip. Halftime on the drums- LOVE! And of course, the vocalist is screaming a bit. Love it.

“Haldern”- This is one of the more difficult listens on the album- at least for me. And I don’t mean to say that in a demeaning way, this song is just so… gut wrenching. I cry basically every time I listen to it. For me, this song is one of my “heavy hitters”- a song that connects me to a difficult time in my life. I feel so strongly towards this song, like a toxic relationship. My words will not do it justice. This song is so beautiful. Perfect for falling in love with someone who will never love you back. Perfect for living alone and being scared of yourself at the same time. Perfect for writing a friendship break-up letter and never delivering it, and letting the relationship just fade out on its own because you know it’s not good for you. Perfect to think about that one person, who never promised anything, but so much at the same time. Hoping they keep themselves safe and away from any negatives that may come their way. “And you pray for the pain to leave him” is the last lyric in this song and that is exactly how I see this song. This song stresses me out, and I f*cking love it. 

“Mark’s Theme”- The absolute comeback song from whatever the f*ck just happened in “Haldern”. This song is appealing in the sense that you can just sit back and take it in. It’s like breakfast the morning after a huge fight. It’s like the fake movie scene, coffee and conversation after sex, if that’s your thing. This song has no words, which I think is a benefit, because it really does not need any. Whoever wrote this was speaking volumes with their instrument. -and then the little vocal part at the end is the cherry on top because, wtf.

“The Place Where He Inserted the Blade”- This is the BCNR's top song, and it deserves that spot. The fully instrumental intro really prepares the plate for this heavy load of a song. The lyrics in the chorus hit me and in a way I cannot even interpret. 

“I know you're scared. Well, I'm scared too. Oh, that every time I try to make lunch for anyone else, in my head, I end up dreaming of you, and you come to me. Good morning. Show me the place where he inserted the blade. I'll praise the Lord, burn my house. I get lost, I freak out. You come home and hold me tight, as if it never happened at all. Good morning.” 

I read someone’s take on the meaning of this song and they said: “show me how to live my life/show me where you've been hurt.” 

Real. Sometimes I ask too much of people. This is because I want to know where they have been, what they have experienced, what or who has hurt them, what has made them stronger, etc. Just some light topics to discuss when first meeting someone, right? This song makes me feel that way, like I want to know everything, and then I want to fix everything. Show me the place they interested in the blade, and let me help you stitch it up. Then we can talk about it over coffee afterwards. Great song, 10/10.

“Snow Globes”- Again with the guitar lines!! These guys know what’s up. When I’m writing, my stuff sounds similar to these guitar parts as well. Partially because I don’t know how to play guitar, but also because it sounds cool. I think this song is overlooked. It starts off with an instrumental build up, which I always enjoy from this band, obviously. Everyone comes in on their own terms here and I respect that. This song is basically a giant build up now that I’m really paying attention to it and taking it in. 

Lock in for this one-

“Basketball Shoes”- Oh do I love a good 12 minute song!!! And I’m serious about that! Honestly, I did not have that much respect for this song when I first became a fan of this album. Now it is safe to say that this is my favorite track on Ants From Up There. The guitar intro reminds me of something I would write, and maybe that is why I feel so connected to it right from the beginning. Unfortunately, this song is so delicatley quiet and almost timid sounding at the start, that you can’t really listen to it in the car. Too many distractions from moving around and the outside world. This is a “headphones alone in my room” kinda jam. I wonder sometimes if a remaster would make any difference, but I like the dainty sound that forces me to sit down with the song and take it in on a personal level. While the album version of this song is amazing (don’t get me wrong!!!) The Live from the Queen Elizabeth Hall version is, to say lightly, life-changing. A little more than halfway through the song we get hit with a complete change of vibes. A different, very “cutesy” little line that is led by the guitar, saxophone, and I think a glockenspiel. This is important to remember, because they do change up vibes throughout the song quite a bit, after all it is 12 minutes long. Then they build on that, and switch up to another different guitar part. This time, it’s more upbeat, almost what could be a bridge?? But who knows. I think this song was just written to be played and listened to. This goes on for a bit, with some halftime towards the end. Now we are at what I think is the most important part of this whole album and what (I think) is the reason this song closes the album. Now we hear that “cutesy” piece from earlier but each note is played by a different member of the band, bass-guitar-violin-sax-violin-sax. Then, BOOM. Everyone comes in together, in a sharp. piercing way. The guitar has some distortion now and this “cutesy little line” just turned into one of the heaviest hitters I’ve ever experienced in a song. Ever. THEN to top that, there is a backing vocal that’s a chorus of people, who are following along and singing that once cutesy guitar line. Then we get (another!!!) buildup following a simplified version of the cutesy line again. This is the best part of the song, the album if that. Also, the chorus has come back! The live from the Queen Elizabeth Hall version of this song will top most live performance videos I’ve ever seen ever on youtube. I wish I could experience this song live. I would probably pee my pants. This song feels like my church, but not in a “i'm obsessed with you” way, in a “I can feel this shit in my bones” way. 

To wrap things up, this album is a 12/10 for me. I may have sh*t a little on the second song (yes, “Intro” is a song itself), but the rest of the album makes up for it 100%. If you have not checked out this album, I highly recommend it. You can tell I feel strongly about it because… well… I wrote all this. I also pick about 2 or 3 separate moments in songs that I consider to be the “best part of the album”, so clearly that’s a hard battle for me to even fight myself on. If there are 3 words to describe this album I would use: beautiful, uncomfortable, and obviously, emotional. Please give it time. It’s a long one, but it is so worth it. This album is heavily instrumental (compared to any “regular” indie or alternative album with a 4 piece band backing it) and I think that is where this band stands out in my book. Unfortunately, the band will never play these songs live ever again (that we know of). Back in January of 2022, the groups lead singer Isaac Wood left the band due to mental health reasons, leading the band to cancel their North America Tour. While this is sad to try and wrap my head around, I have a lot of love and respect  for Isaac and the rest of the band. I hope to one day see at least one of these songs live, but for now I will enjoy them from the comfort of my bedroom.

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taken from a college alumni monthly magazine-

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just got the album of the year (has been since 2023) on vinyl and this cutie is in the lyric book. might have to get this tattooed on my arm….. thank u @wednesdaygurl for making incredible art all the time