Louie🍊

I quit my job to become a pro bowler but I dropped a bowling ball on my foot so they’re going to put me down like a race horse

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in monster world they have berries and cream but they call it SCARIES and SCREAM. one of many interesting little cultural differences

[tatzelwurming]

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

[homo-neandertalensis]

Was made to groove

[tatzelwurming]

my man

[real-language-facts]

white boy BAFFLES aliens by ordering in perfect gloobxax

[ewaneneollav]

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

[fruity-louie]

If I was Captain Ahab I would’ve just said that I killed the whale and then I’d go to the bar and drink ale or something

[divorced-slenderman]

She took the pages.

[fruity-louie]

If I was a monkey I would be door dashing bananas

[threedollarsdotcom]

yeah well i just dialed your mom and she said how did you get this number

[cryptotheism]

if I was a trump staffer I'd be showing him realistic AI generated videos of Frankenstein beating people up

[cryptotheism]

Mister President it happened again. You have to help them. Please you have to help america.

[glintblade]

a stripper's thong is probably comfy as fuck if you're dollars

[fruity-louie]

Okay new game: Funny or Scary

[everest-81]

Come on

[ratarmorjpeg]

watching the lego movie with @fruity-louie rn and he keeps saying "they built all this in real life" and "this was all real"

[fruity-louie]

You would know if you broke your toe, right?

[stupidestasshole]

grandpa wants to inject you with his new solution

[georgeromerosanalcavity]

online person: i think we need to talk about the political ramifications and psychological abuse of calling a frog “crazy”

person irl: hey man Wh-Wha-Whats going on-on. Ding ding. Lets do the crazy froogg. Ding ding. A Brem Brem. A ring ding ding ding ding. A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg. A ring ding ding ding ding. Ring ding. Baa-Baa. Ring ding ding ding ding. A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg. A ring ding ding ding ding. a Bram ba am baba weeeeeee. BREAK DOWN! Ding ding. Br-Br-Break It. dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum. Brem daem. dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum. weeeeeeee. A ram da am da am da am da weeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Wh-Whats Going On? ding ding. Bem De Dem. ding ding. da da. A ring ding ding ding ding. A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg. A ring ding ding ding ding. Ring ding. Baa-Baa. Ring ding ding ding ding. A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg. A ring ding ding ding ding. a Bram ba am baba..ding ding. Br-Br-Break It. dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum. Brem daem. dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum. ding ding. Bem De Dem!

[nyancrimew]

im so hungry i could eat a meal