Ălmos | 24 | he/him | Hmu with stuff about your OCs and WIPs or just anything in general, I'd love to hear about you! Main blog I follow from is @shrews_things
It's been long enough that I think I can officially announce, from now on this is an archive blog!!
I won't be posting here anytime in the foreseeable future, but this place is home to many good memories of friends made and stories written, so I don't think I'll delete it. If there's anyone who'd like to keep up with what I do, or maybe reconnect, you can find me on my art blog @shrews-art or on my main blog @shrews-things â¤ď¸
That is? A normal writing speed? A 2k words day is a good day for me and a whole bunch of peeps do something about that or less, and I'm talking multiple writing sessions. You're fine. It's fine. As long as words are happening to any extent, you're writing.
The 5 Commandments of Storytelling According to The Story Grid
The Five Commandments of Storytelling come from The Story Grid approach to writing, which was created by Shawn Coyne, who has worked in the publishing industry for over thirty years now and has edited hundreds of books. Drawing from the influence of Robert McKee (best known for writing Story) as well as from his vast experience, Coyne came up with concrete ways to measure and understand story. His work has helped thousands of writers find success, and I've personally turned to his approaches several times.
Which brings me to today's article. I recently had some questions that led me back to his work, and specifically to The Five Commandments of Storytelling. Now, I admit, I don't love the name "Five Commandments of Storytelling" because all five elements have to do mainly with plot and structure, and not the other elements of storytelling. But as I've talked about time and again on here, what we call it doesn't really matter, as long as you understand the concept. Coyne also says on his site that it's comparable to the ten commandments Moses got, in that, when boiled down, these are the five things you absolutely need to guide you when getting started in storytelling.Â
Some of these items will sound familiar because we've talked about them from other angles before, but I'm covering them from Coyne's angle today, while also throwing in my own thoughts and approaches (don't worry, I communicate which is which).
First off, these five elements are structural elements, and like most structural elements, they work within any structural unit: scene, sequence, act, or the global story. Each of these units really have the same basic parts. For an explanation of how that works, read my post, "Scene vs. Sequence vs. Act."
1. Inciting Incident
I've talked about the inciting incident numerous times on here, but as a quick recap, the inciting incident is either an opportunity or a problem that disrupts the established normal. The protagonist is going on, living in his Ordinary World until bam an opportunity or a problem comes up that will (at least eventually) change the direction of the story--within the narrative arc it essentially kicks off the story. Harry gets a letter from Hogwarts and later learns he's a wizard and can attend a magic school (opportunity). Nemo gets kidnapped in Finding Nemo (problem). Two love interests meet in a romance (opportunity).
In a smaller unit (such as an act, sequence, or scene, as opposed to the whole story) this will be a smaller disruption.
"No matter the unit of story (beat, scene, sequence, act, or global Story) what the inciting incident must do is upset the life balance of your lead protagonist/s. It must make them uncomfortably out of syncâŚfor good or for ill." - Shawn Coyne
While I prefer dividing these into "opportunity" or "problem," Coyne divides this into two different types:
a. Causal
This happens from an active choice. The example he gives is a wife leaving her husband.
b. Coincidental
This happens (you guessed it) from a coincidence, such as a plane crashing and forcing the protagonist to survive in the wilderness.
For what it's worth, the reason I prefer dividing the incident into "opportunity" or "problem" over "causal" or "coincidental" is because I feel that whether it's an "opportunity" or a "problem" affects the story and protagonist more (and helps you better infer how to write what happens next), whereas many inciting incidents that are causal could be changed to coincidental or vice versa without much effect. For example, Harry could have just as well coincidentally found out about Hogwarts, Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory could have just as well been given the Golden Ticket, Frodo could have just as well stumbled upon the Ring, and the stories would largely be the same. However, if Hogwarts or Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory were viewed as a problem or Frodo getting the Ring was viewed as an opportunity, that would be a very different protagonist with a very different story.Â
Nonetheless, I admit that "causal" or "coincidental" can make a significant difference in some stories--a wife choosing to leave a husband is different than one "leaving" after happening to get hit by a car. And there is no reason you can't use both types of categories, and label Harry's as "opportunity, causal" or someone stuck in the wilderness after a plane crash as "problem, coincidental."
Coyne also reflects what I've read K. M. Weiland and a few others say: "the inciting incident of a global story must make a promise to the readerâŚthe ending. The ending must be a perfectly reasonable and inevitable result of the inciting incident."
The inciting incident will give rise to a new desire or goal within the protagonist--or at least a more specific or refined one.
Learn more about Coyne's perspective of the inciting incident.
2. Progressive Complication
This is what we call the rising action, where the conflict escalates. The protagonist faces opposition from antagonistic forces. And the struggles should get more difficult, the stakes should get higher, and the costs bigger.
Coyne suggests giving each complication a number 1 - 10 for how serious the conflict is. A one means it's not that big of a problem and a ten means it will bring the protagonist to her knees. If you find most of them score pretty low, then the stakes aren't big enough in your story. (For what it's worth, I feel like this approach relates to and complements James Scott Bell's three types of death--the stakes need to get big enough to feel like death in some form or another.) This is also a good way to check that, overall, the story is escalating, not de-escalating.
Keep an eye out for "Points of No Return"--this is when a decision or an action cannot be undone (like death). "Ask yourself the simple questionâŚhow difficult would it be for my character to reverse his decision?" Coyne suggests. If most of your character's decisions can be easily reversed, and without significant ramifications, your complications and stakes aren't strong enough. "Youâve hit the Point of No Return when no matter what decision the character makes, he will be irrevocably changed by the experience." Either his world, life, or himself will not be the same.a. The Turning Point
While Coyne actually doesn't talk about it in the above article (though it's talked about here and here), the complications will hit a turning point. Like the inciting incident, we've talked about this a few times on my blog. A turning point can only be one of two things (well, or both of them):
i. An action (a character takes an action or an event takes place)
ii. A revelation (new information enters the story)
The turning point turns the direction of the story, meaning it changes the story.
(Keep in mind it's possible to hit multiple turning points within a structural unit, but there should always be at least one, otherwise the unit probably isn't important to the story.)
When reviewing and researching this approach, I liked the way the Writer Ship Podcast explained the progressive complications:
"In pursuit of the goal, the protagonist (or POV character in a scene) can encounter four different types of people, places, and things, and events: - obstacles (which appear to be negative), - tools (which appear to be positive), but also- elements within their environment and beyond that seem to be irrelevant to the protagonistâs pursuit, and- unexpected events The unexpected event is one that arises from the elements that seem irrelevant, but means that the protagonist wonât be able to reach their goalâor at least not in the way they originally intended. This event forces the protagonist or scene POV character into a dilemma (Crisis). . . .These progressively complicating agents of conflict can be internal (conflict within oneâs self, like competing values or desires), interpersonal (conflict with another person or people), or extra-personal (conflict with something the character canât have a relationship with, like the environment or society). These complications create a gap between what the character expects will happen and the result of their actions."
Learn more about progressive complications.
3. Crisis
This is the part where things can get a little muddy depending on what you've been taught and what writing approaches you use. See, the whole reason I started reviewing Coyne's approach was because I was confused about the crisis (also called a "dilemma" in other approaches). Some people seem to put the crisis before the climax (like Coyne), others during it, and others seemingly after, so I was wondering more about it and where it fits exactly, and does it matter exactly where it is?
I think I discovered why this was confusing to me.
But so I don't confuse you, let's first talk about Coyne's approach.
At the end of the progressive complication, the character takes another action toward a goal, and reality responds with something unanticipated--an event or new information (a turning point).
This throws the character toward a loss that raises a question from the audience, "What will the character do now?"
This puts the character in a crisis.
A crisis (also known as a dilemma) is when the character has to make a choice between two bad things or two good things, and she can't have both.
a. The Best Bad Choice
The character has to choose between two negative options.
b. Irreconcilable Goods
The character has to choose between two positive options.
The crisis is essentially a moment to lay out the stakes.
If the character chooses path A, then this will happen.
If the character chooses path B, then that will happen.
The character can't have both paths.
For example, Katniss either needs to kill Peeta and become the victor, or she needs to risk suicide so there is no victor. Neither sound like great options.
Alternatively, you may have a character that has to choose between getting the job of her dreams or the man of her dreams. She can't have both.
This is one of the most effective (if not most effective) ways to reveal character, because what the character chooses will reveal who she truly is, because it reveals her value systems. Will Katniss sacrifice someone else to get gain (and become just like the antagonistic force, the Capitol)? Or will she be willing to sacrifice herself to possibly save someone else (like she did when volunteering for Prim)? What she chooses under intense pressure will prove who she really is.
Now, it's worth noting that in some cases, inaction may be a "path," but it must have significant consequences itself (otherwise it's not a true crisis). In some cases, there may be more than two paths. And in some situations, the paths may not be obviously good or obviously bad--life isn't always so black and white. The point is that the choice is difficult, because whatever the character chooses, she risks losing something significant. This can create a Point of No Return. Once the path is chosen, the character can't go back (of course in a small structural unit, like a scene, or at the beginning of a story, this will be less dramatic).
Writer Ship points out that the crisis must be relevant to the character's goal (or one of their goals, depending on how you look at it) in some way. It should also be specific.
Coyne also writes:
"The crisis is the time when your protagonist must make a decision. And the choice that he makes will determine whether or not heâll get closer to or further away from his object of desires (both external and internal). Often a particular choice will move a character closer to one object of desire while moving him further away from the otherâŚ"
I think a lot of the time, this is the choice between what the character wants vs. needs, and that's probably what Coyne really means about "closer to one object of desire while moving him further away from the other." For example, Katniss is often tempted by the want of personal survival. She wants to survive so bad. But what she needs (theme), is to sacrifice herself--that's the only way to not be a piece in their Games. So her crisis moment, is the moment she chooses the need and lets go of (or at least risks) her want.
What the character picks will reflect the character arc.
A negative arc protagonist will choose the want over the need at the main crisis point.
A positive arc protagonist will choose the need over the want at the main crisis point.
If you are writing a story where the protagonist changes, then you will show them at the beginning of the story picking the opposite within a smaller unit (scene, sequence, act).
If you are writing a story where the protagonist remains steadfast, then you will show them at the beginning of the story picking the same thing within a smaller unit (scene, sequence, act).Â
Generally speaking of course (there are always exceptions).
When you show this on a small scale in the opening scene (or one near the opening), you essentially introduce the character's most important feature, the character arc. (And it should be said, you can do all this with more characters than just the protagonist, of course.)
For example, in Frozen, Elsa is faced with a dilemma: either let Anna into her life and risk hurting her, or isolate herself to keep Anna (and others) safe. Neither are great options. In the beginning, within scenes (and sequences and acts) she chooses the second (her want). But at the end she chooses the first (the need which informs the theme).
(However, please note that not every single crisis in a story will necessarily be a reflection of want vs. need or character arc. It may be almost entirely plot driven, though still innately reveal character.)
I also want to acknowledge, that on the global level (within the story at large) often the crisis will call back to the inciting incident and the protagonist's response to it. In The Hunger Games, the inciting incident is when Prim's name gets called and Katniss volunteers. At the crisis, she's asked if she's willing to potentially sacrifice herself again for another innocent. In a strong change arc, the responses will be opposites--the protagonist responded one way to the incident, and now chooses the opposite response in the crisis.
Where does the crisis fit?
Back to my initial confusion. Does the crisis come before the climax, during, or after?
As is often the case in the writing community, some of this confusion comes from ambiguous writing terminology. Coyne defines the "climax" as the choice and action the character makes after the crisis. So by his definition, of course it comes before the climax. For many people, the "climax" is much bigger than a single moment, and in that sense, the crisis fits within the climax. In other approaches, it may appear to come after, but I think this is more an issue of smaller structural units working within bigger ones (more on this in the future).
Then we get to the confusion of turning points. Some people refer to the climax as a turning point--but how does that work if the turning point supposedly is what leads to the crisis?Â
This is because Coyne's approach actually works more like this:
Turning point --> Crisis --> Turning Point
And to get even more specific, it works like this:
Turning point (outside the protagonist) --> Crisis --> Turning Point (from the protagonist)
The turning point that leads to the crisis, is something that comes from outside the protagonist--someone or something else is taking the action or providing the information. This backs the protagonist into the corner of the crisis. The protagonist chooses a path, and acts on that path, which means taking an action or sharing information with others, which in itself is a turning point.
Does the crisis always fit here?Â
Well . . . yes . . . and no.
Sometimes the crisis isn't obvious. It can be subtle and implied. There may not necessarily be a moment where it's on the page. We just see the protagonist acting on his or her choice.
Similarly, sometimes the character acts without fully appreciating or understanding the meaning behind the crisis. Sometimes it dawns on them only after the fact--their action leads to a personal revelation that is thematic (need). They now realize the "truth."
But while the crisis doesn't have to be on the page (or on the screen), I think it's often more effective if it at least gets its own beat--this is the time to emphasize plot, character, and often even theme (the holy trinity of writing). This is not to say it needs to be blatant. Instead, think about what's most effective in your story for this moment. Is it more powerful to put it directly on the page so the audience feels and appreciates the weight of it? Is it more effective to indirectly imply it through the text? Or is it more effective to let the audience fill in the blanks?Â
Learn more about the crisis.
4. Climax
Coyne views the climax as the action the character takes in response to the crisis. This technically forms another turning point, because it changes the direction of the story. Coyne emphasizes action, but I want to acknowledge that the protagonist revealing information could be considered the "action"--since a turning point can be based on action or information.
The climax shows true character. We all say things we don't actually do or live up to. The climax will reveal who the character really is. It's the character's actions, not his words, that show who he is or who he has become. Katniss initially considers shooting Peeta, but ultimately acts on choosing to consume poisonous berries (to put it simply). Frodo has planned the entire time to get rid of the Ring, but ultimately chooses to keep it, showcasing the Ring's corruption of his innocence.Â
When the pressure of the crisis happens, inner character is revealed. Intentions are usually not as truthful as choices and subsequent actions.
Unlike the crisis, the climax almost always needs to be front and center on the page, otherwise the audience feels robbed. And frankly, the plot, character, and theme all get robbed.
For character arcs, as touched on above, if you are writing a change arc, the action in the final climax will be different than what the character did within Act I. If you are writing a steadfast arc (also known as a flat arc), the action will be more or less the same--but more is hinging on the action at the final climax. Negative arcs choose wants over needs. Positive arcs choose needs over wants.
The final climax needs to be lifechanging. If this is a change arc, it will for sure be lifechanging internally, and maybe also externally (change the environment). If this is a steadfast arc, it will likely change the external (environment) more than the internal (the character). But this is all generally speaking, simplistically speaking.
This is (almost always) the biggest Point of No Return in the story. If it's not a Point of No Return, then that's likely a major problem in the manuscript.
Within the smaller structural units, overall, generally speaking, both the crises and the climaxes should be getting bigger and bigger--the crisis and climax of Act II needs to be bigger than the crisis and climax of Act I, for example (again, escalating, not de-escalating).
Learn more about the climax.
5. Resolution
This is the falling action. The character made a choice, took an action, and this turned the story (i.e. changed the direction of the story). What is the outcome of the character's action? Does she succeed or fail? Receive the want or the need? Both or neither? If there is change within or without, we need to see it. If there is steadfastness within or without, we need to see it. Validate all this.
Coyne mentions that the resolution is a good time to reinforce what changed (or what was learned) at the climax, and this can be done with a metaphor or fable. You may mention a similar situation that reinforces the theme discovered at the climax. For example, in a story ultimately about family vs. fame, a positive change protagonist may choose "family" at the climax. In the resolution, we may mention a similar situation that reinforces the concept that "family is more important than fame," by showing a little girl choosing to miss her talent show in order to help her grandma. Or, alternatively, we may show a local celebrity who chose a new opportunity for stardom, and lost his family as a result.
Now, this isn't the exact same language Coyne uses to explain this concept--he uses some terminology related specifically to The Story Grid and looks at things from a different angle. But this is more or less the basic idea. (You can read his actual words and approach here.) I wanted to keep it simple and more cohesive with what we've talked about previously on my blog.
Coyne writes, "What the resolution moment does is it tells the reader exactly what the climax of the story MEANS. How the worldview has shifted."
While we want to validate and reinforce what happened in the climax, Coyne emphasizes we don't want to be repetitious. The audience knows what happened in the climax: They saw it. Instead, focus on the effects, don't restate the same information.
Learn more about the resolution.
So at this point, I was planning on talking about this all more, in relation to scene structure specifically, but (unsurprisingly) this article is already pretty long! (What can I say? I love to go deep!) Best save that for a future post.
Nonetheless, there you have it. The Five Commandments of Storytelling according to the Story Grid.Â
Another thing I thought was super cursed but then did end up helping was setting my font size to 8pt!! It's true that like this I can't write without glasses at all but it tricks your brain into wanting to fill that page even though it's a slower process and as a result you work faster
Hello undine, can you help spread this? I feel like all the writeblrs from 2018 era are gone now and that makes me sad. Are any of you still around? I hope everyone is doing alright
First of all, Iâm a writeblr from the 2018 era so make a note of that. âUndine is alive and kicking still, and we canât get rid of her no matter how hard we try.â Write that down, word for word.
And there are still several writeblrs around from back when I joined writeblr for the very first time in 2018!
Just off the top of my head thereâs @incandescent-creativity @roselinbooks @writings-of-a-narwhal @madammuffins @bexminx @souliloquyyy @promptsforthestrugglingauthor @stories-by-rie @kainablue @abalonetea @leave-her-a-tome @she-who-fights-and-writes @ohlooksheswriting @cabaretofwords @farrradays @bookishdiplodocus @ink-flavored @caitwritesstuff @quilloftheclouds @iparisaltanwing @bookenders @reeseweston and Iâm sure there are ton of others that Iâm missing!
I did just check every single one of their blogs, and they all should have been active at least once in the past month or so. I donât all know for sure if theyâre from the 2018 era (I myself, was from October 2018 so I was only around for a little bit) but theyâre all people I remember chatting with and looking up to back in ye olde days of writeblr around 2-3 years ago when I was super, extremely active and in my writeblr prime (and popular đ jkjk).
I definitely understand what you mean though. Not only has there been a huge generational shift in modern-day writeblrs, a lot of people are inactive, and Iâve also realized that I havenât talked to most of these people in a really, really long time.
No wonder why no one knows who I am these days. Iâm very much a relic of âold writeblrâ now thatâs not super relevant anymore, arenât I? Resting on my withered laurels and all.
But yes! If youâve been a part of writeblr for 3+ years, please sound off! Tag your friends! Letâs find each other again! As much as I love and appreciate new writeblrs, Iâd love to find and reconnect some of the older writeblrs still around. Please, please hit me up 𼰠I miss you all dearly, and would love to meet/catch up.
:holds up hand: Iâm dubiously here, though I mostly just reblog stuff because the ongoing pandabear has nuked my ability to interact and produce original content
still here on the periphery of writeblr, although I ditched my writing-themed username in favour of something wolf related đ (was artattemptswriting)
Still here!! Albeit not as active as I used to be. (And not posting original stuff quite as often, ah.)
@siarven Not exactly sure when you joined, but I know you were active around that time. (They are also still active and you should check out their WIPs!)
Oh hi! Iâm also indeed still here :3 (thx for remembering me!! <333) I think I joined around 2016 actually and was very active from that time until ⌠2019/2020 or so? Dropped away mostly because I got eaten by a fandom and now because Iâm mostly editing my wip and most of my active writeblr friends became inactive, so there was much less tag games stuff and.. yeah XD
@lady-redshield-writes is still around, @kittensartswriting (though sheâs gone sometimes for a while bc of uni), @fatal-blow I think we first interacted in tag games around that time too right? @albatris was definitely around back then too and @thehollowbetween (back then @/paper-shield-and-wooden-sword) is still around too, though more for art I think.
there are others but brain empty no thoughts XD <3
I would love to talk more to other people again. I do miss the community of Ye Olden Days!
Here and doing great anon! Just ended up falling back into my middle school fandom and writing 300k of fanfiction for it which was technically me rewriting a 150k fic but same thing right Iâm still up to my eyebrows in wip ideas so Iâll probably be sticking with this forâŚ..a few years probably đ But Iâm sure Iâll get back to writing original fiction eventually! Iâll just be posting about it on my side blog instead of this one
Going through my follow list rn to see who I can find uhhh letâs see @lordkingsmith @fragmentedink @heavens-tiny-daggers @writerofscribbles @cupcakeswriting @aletheiawriting @capillaryspice @she-who-fights-and-writes @watwrites @writing-in-the-grave @lux-scriptum @idreamonpaper @perringwrites @sunnydwrites @theguildedtypewriter @atelierwriting @fruzsiwrites @cjjameswriting @j-is-gonna-write-28 @juniiparis @inky-duchess @stormdrivensea @writersblockandapotoftea @indecentpause @spencecreates @writingonesdreams @woodhousejay @indigo-inkwell @mightevenwrite @elliotlpowell @keeperofthequill @adie-dee @raiswanson
Aaaaa thank you for tagging me!! This made me miss those times so so much :')
I'm here and alive, though I haven't been active in the community in quite a while and haven't had much time to write either. These days I'm mostly studying and drawing all the time, but there's a story idea I've been thinking a lot about!! I'd love to get back into things again, and hopefully soon I'll be back <3
I think everyone I can remember has already been tagged so I'm just gonna add my thanks again, and that y'all are super cool and I can't wait to be back đ¸đž
Writing mistakes that editors will call you out for!
Disclaimer: this is a harsh and mean informative post on mistakes that make your writing amateurish or fanfiction-like. In the professional world, editors will call you out on them in a much harsher way that here.. but hey, theyâre easy to fix! Of course, the quality of writing is often a matter of individual taste and experience, though there is a theory to it and ways to make your work clear and interesting to your readers.
And yes, as cruel as it sounds to admitâmost fanfiction writers are amateurs who will not help you improve your own writing. You might have to close your Good Omens AO3 fanfic for a few hours to read the actual work by Neil Gaiman. That said, fanfiction is an amazing gateway to becoming a pro author because it gives you insight on what the audience likes, and the practice you need to improve! There are many fanfiction writers whoâve taken the time to learn from professionals about their craft, and are in a place where they could become successful published authors themselves.
That aside, here are 7 writing mistakes that hinder your writing!
1 â Dialogue tags
This is BY FAR the most common mistake that amateur writers do, and particularly prelevant in fanfiction. Alternative dialogue tags (whisper, shout, murmured) should be used VERY sparingly. âsaidâ, ârepliedâ, and âaskedâ should build up the majority of the tags you use.
Oftentimes, the reader will understand the tone based on what the character says or by their actions.
2 - Tense changes
Pick a tense and stick to it. Many times, amateurs waver between past and present which leads to awkward reading. Choose which tense you prefer and stick to it. An extra caution should be taken when using past tense, however, to correctly use past preterite (I ate) vs past perfect (I had eaten). While both can be used, they are different so make sure you understand when to use which.
3 â Pointless dialogue
Itâs time to cut the small talk. While chitchat and banter may be fun to read, particularly in fanfiction, editors will ask that you remove it if it doesnât advance the plot. What you want to do is cut down on the filler in your story, and if that means your characters NOT having an argument about macaroni cheese, then so be it. Save dialogue for important and meaningful conversation onlyâyour readers will prefer it, I promise.
4 â Pointless description
Hand in hand with the previous point, description should be kept consise and relevant. We donât need to know what your character is wearing or the details of their âblack, leather, zebra-print sofa under the wide windowsill in the master bedroomâ. Keep the descriptions short, fed into the plot little-by-little and relevant to what is happening. Your readers are smartâthey can imagine the rest for themselves! Thatâs what makes reading fun!
5 â Use the characterâs name
The blue-eyed boy has a name for the great purpose of you using it! Literal writing, nine times out of ten, is better! Green orbs are distracting, but green eyes are to the point and clear. Itâs the same with names! The name, title, role (butler, governess etc), or pronouns should always be the default. Any other term should be used sparingly when there is no other alternative.
6 â Abandon the pet names
Yes, pet names are cute and fun, but not when theyâre in every sentence of conversation. Things like âbabeâ, âbabyâ, âsugarpuff sunshine fairyâ should be used SPARINGLY. I can assure you, the love interests saying it once or twice in the novel will have a far greater impact on the reader than if they say it every time they call their partner. An overuse of pet names becomes distracting and make the character seem both immature and a caricature. It also has a similar effet to repeating the other personâs name during a conversationâit leads to unnatural dialogue as we only really say the other personâs name to them in order to get their attention.
7 â Immature characters
This is a biiiiig one in fanfiction. You may see characters who are adults in their mid to late twenties but who still behave like teenagers. Granted, if you are a teenage writer, this canât always be corrected, though it does become apparent to any reader over the age of eighteen.
Truth be told, adults mature and donât react as overtly as many poorly-written characters do. A twenty-eight year old is very unlikely to tell two teenagers who are making out at the kitchen table to âget a roomâ, nor are they likely to be victim of some horrible miscommunication that leads to a lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers situation. Of course, it is still possible, though it does read as unrealistic and makes it apparent that the author has not yet reached the age of the character they are writing about. Take reference from real people around the age of your characters and if all else fails, you could always look for the possibility to age them down.
The point of correcting these mistakes is to create a novel that is easy to understand without the reader feeling as though theyâre swimming through mud. Publishers look for clear, consise books that tell one story from start to finish!
Reading some old wips like I really like the vibe of this actually and some of the characters are really fun but DAMN what was 16 year old me even THINKING
You try so hard to handle everything gently. Making only the most necessary movements: the lightest touch, the faintest brush of fingers.
Why?
I'm afraid I'll break/hurt them, I need to be careful,, I have to watch my hands, they are clumsy and,, not good,,, no matter how much I wash them they'll never be clean enough
Clean enough?
Not clean enough to hold that book, not clean enough to hold their hand.
What if I stop being careful for a second and my hands do some irreversible damage?
I'm afraid, I've hurt people before though I didn't mean no harm. It's too easy to destroy.
I must always be cautious.. I couldn't stand to see something falling apart in my hands again
So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really notâbut honestly this is it man.
Writing characters who are exposed to cold and hypothermia
Because I know many people live in countries without cold winter and Iâve read way too many otherwise amazing fics where the MC faints after an hour in 20 F° (about - 6.5 C°), all this while clad in heavy clothing, sweaters, scarfs and winter coat.
Hypothermia
While everyone reacts differently to different temperatures, there are some rules and symptoms of hypothermia. Symptoms, in order as hypothermia progresses:
Shivering, which may stop as hypothermia progresses
Slow, shallow breathing
Confusion and/or memory loss
Drowsiness or exhaustion
Slurred or mumbled speech
Loss of coordination, fumbling hands, stumbling steps
A slow, weak pulse
In severe hypothermia, a person may be unconscious without obvious signs of breathing or a pulse
Body temperatures of different stages of hypothermia:
Mild: 89-95 F° (31-35 C°)
Moderate: 82-89 F° (27.5-31 C°)
Severe: lower than 82 F° (27.5 C°)
Keep in mind that some people are more sensitive to cold due to their age or physique. People with increased risk of hypothermia include:
The elderly, infants, and children without adequate heating, clothing
Underweight people
People who are outdoors for extended periods
People in cold weather whose judgment is impaired by alcohol or drugs
Treatment
Everyone with hypothermia needs immediate medical assistance, but until that arrives the character can be helped with the following actions:
Moving them to a warm, dry place if possible, or sheltering them from the elements
Removing wet clothing
Covering their whole body and head with blankets, leaving only the face clear
Providing warm drinks if the person is conscious, but never caffeine or alcohol
Carrying out CPR if the breathing stops
If the shivering stops even though the character hasnât returned to a warmer place, thatâs actually a very bad sign and means that the personâs heat regulation systems are shutting off.
Another thing to note is that when a person faints from the cold, their body temperature is already so low that they must be warmed up immediately, otherwise they die.
I wanted to add because what OP gave is good but thereâs a few things I wanted to add from your local disabled author partly because while its good info some of it makes me uneasy as someone who has trouble with temp regulation. And looking at it again I know you didnât mean just only but the wording here isnât great:
Certain medical conditions that can cause people to have trouble regulating their temperatures.
But you must be wondering they already mentioned underweight.
Yeah they did. But hereâs the thing thatâs not the only kind of condition. Thyroid issues, mitochondrial diseases (genetic disorder), etc. can also cause this same problem. Someone doesnât necessarily need to be underweight to have a medical condition that will cause temp regulation problems.
Also I donât particularly like the implication here that the type of drugs with the hint of it being something like weed or cocaine can cause temperature issues.
I just. I take medicine whose side effects include issues with temp sensetivity. And it just makes me feel uncomfortable how some of this is phrased. So I needed to add on.
Even if some of this is out of there
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I was tagged in this by @oblolongue, @crystallized-ink, @talesofsorrowandofruin and @writing-valentines, thank you! Since I can barely keep up with all the tag chains, I decided to put this into one post.
Rules: Write the latest line from your wip and tag as many people as there are are words in the line.
This is the latest line from Unwritten Sacrifice:
As soon as her hand touched the handle, she yanked the door open and ran away.
15 words, 15 tags. Here we go: @kessler-writes, @undecidedpersonality, @fleetingfictions, @cozy-kaye, @strangerays, @letsgetsquiggly, @sheyshocked, @mel-writes-with-her-dragons, @authortango, @sleepyowlwrites, @leave-her-a-tome, @apocalypsewriters, @writinglyra, @blindthewind and @crystallized-ink.
I was tagged by @lova-writes and I hope itâs cool I just added onto your post.
So the rules say write the latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are are words in the line. This line doesnât have a WIP but itâs on of those 3 am ideas that still sound good after sleep.
So when winter knocks at his door and asks if heâs ready to go, he, the last leaf on the tree, finally flutters down to the ground.
I âcountedâ 27 wordsâŚâŚ Iâll do as many as I can and what ever is left over can be filled by literally anyone tagged or not.
I literally have no idea how many people I tagged and Iâm gonna call this good enough. Anyone else who surprisingly wasnât tagged and wantâs to add to this chain please do. And to those I taggedâŚ..Thanks, I like your blogs, let me know if you want me to stop tagging you. Have a nice day!!!!
He had a plan, and chatting with deranged strangers that like to doodle wasnât part of it.
Skipping articles, I counted 14. Iâll do as many as I can⌠Tagging: @chazzawrites, @apocalypsewriters , @pagesofcursive , @littlerothridinghood , @writes-about-gays-and-dragons , @pens-swords-stuff , @pretend-im-normal , @fayoftheforest , @annoyingwritingtrash , @vellichor-virgo , ehh good enough. If youâre not on the taglist but wanna be, just consider yourself tagged!
"I'm afraid I have forgotten how to belong somewhere"
I haven't been active for so long that I have no idea how many of the people I know here are still around so for now I'm tagging whoever sees this! Have a lovely day y'all
