Fantasy and Foodporn

@ftafp

If you like the fantasy side of tumblr, or fine cuisine this is the blog for you

4,165 posts

To celebrate pride month, we have unleashed the lions.

synthetic-ultramarine

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

came back wrong, but they weren't dead or anything. They went to whole foods like half an hour ago and came back a twsited something wearing your loved one's body as a suit.

ventinginprogress

that's not a subversion. whole foods is just like that

came back wrong, but they weren't dead or anything. They went to whole foods like half an hour ago and came back a twsited something wearing your loved one's body as a suit.

in soviet america, the rich eat you

cheaphalloweencostume

this is real

One of the more fun things about studying medeival weapons is learning all the different ways flamberges are even more bullshit in real life than they are in fiction

Like, it's already kind of a whopper to swallow that something as extravagant and ridiculous as this this was actally used in combat, but learning that common ways of wielding it included making spin attacks, and holding it by the blade to club people with the pommel is frankly just a bit too damn much

the wiggles apparently weren't just for flair either. they made the sword better at parrying since the grooves made it easier to grip polearms and drag them around. Allegedly they were better at cutting too, but believing that serrated bastard can cut anything except tomatoes is too much for my bullshit capacity

One of the more fun things about studying medeival weapons is learning all the different ways flamberges are even more bullshit in real life than they are in fiction

Like, it's already kind of a whopper to swallow that something as extravagant and ridiculous as this this was actally used in combat, but learning that common ways of wielding it included making spin attacks, and holding it by the blade to club people with the pommel is frankly just a bit too damn much

One of the more fun things about studying medeival weapons is learning all the different ways flamberges are even more bullshit in real life than they are in fiction

ffs, people are out there calling superheroes "modern mythology" when they don't have a single fucking etiology to their name. at least put in a token effort. why is there cum in some people's basements? Because spiderman came in there. bam! etymolology

While it's a common misconception that orcs evolved green pigmentation to hunt other humanoids because only humanoids have green color receptors, the counter-argument that birds also have green color receptors kind of misses the point

The reality is that orcs are green not because of their dietary habits, but because turkeys eat them like hot cakes. they just gobble that shit up. I once saw a pack of wild turkeys pick an orc's bones clean in 20 second flat. A pack phirannas couldn't do a better job if they tried

It's weird to me how the joke behind the idea of an orcish ninja is that they're thought to be cartoonishly inept at steath considering that orcs are one of the only fantasy races with an actual form of camouflage

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