The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater (ch 37) // Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami (ch 2)
(Quote text under read more)
Henry had never been good with words. Case in point: The first month he'd been at Aglionby, he had tried to explain this to Jonah Milo, the English teacher, and had been told that he was being hard on himself. You've got a great vocabulary, Milo had said. Henry was aware he had a great vocabulary. It was not the same thing as having the words you needed to express yourself. You're very well-spoken for a kid your age, Mino had added. Hell, ha, even for a guy my age. But sounding like you were saying what you felt was not the same as actually pulling it off. A lot of ESL folks feel that way, Milo had finished. My mom said she was never herself in English.
But it wasn't that Henry was less of himself in English. He was less of himself out loud. His native language was thought.
His mother was the only one who knew what Henry meant when he said that he wasn't good with words. She was always trying to explain things to his father, especially when she had decided to become Seondeok instead of his wife. It is that, she forever said, but also something more. The phrase had come to live in Henry's head. Something more explained perfectly why he could never say what he meant — something more, by its definition, would always be different than what you already had in your hand.
— — —
"I can never say what I want to say," continued Naoko. "It's been like this for a while now. I try to say something, but all I get are the wrong words - the wrong words or the exact opposite words from what I mean. I try to correct myself, and that only makes it worse. I lose track of what I was trying to say to begin with. It's like I'm split in two and playing tag with myself. One half is chasing the other half around this big, fat post. The other me has the right words, but this me can't catch her." She raised her face and looked into my eyes. "Does this make any sense to you?"
"Everybody feels like that to some extent," I said. "They're trying to express themselves and it bothers then when they can't get it right."
Naoko looked disappointed with my answer. "No, that's not it either," she said without further explanation.
Trans people, and all queer people, are forever welcome with the Industrial Workers of the World. Happy Pride to our queer members, and to everyone else!
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