your anxiety is lying to you. you are loved and going to be okay.
d e v o n

Andulka

#extradirty
Claire Keane

Discoholic 🪩
tumblr dot com

Janaina Medeiros
Show & Tell
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
RMH
Today's Document

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Jules of Nature

Kaledo Art

oozey mess
Monterey Bay Aquarium
No title available
KIROKAZE

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@fucking-deadkool
your anxiety is lying to you. you are loved and going to be okay.
I wasn’t an actress back then. This casting director flew from England to Israel and she was looking for the Bond girl. When my agent told me about that I was like “No way I’m gonna audition. I’m studying law and international relationship. I’m way too serious and smart for being an actress.” I had a call-back and another call-back and another and throughout this process I realized that GOD-DAMN, like acting is so much more fun than going to law school.
if karl marx was real he could beat you up, effortlessly. karl marx could rip your little twig body asunder
i have like half a foot on him and know all of his weaknesses
wait, “if karl marx was real”…. is he… made up?
reblog if you believe
Forever my mood
The force is strong in this family
someone take Photoshop away from me
This is the best post I’ve seen all week
Can someone please read over my Shark Tank spec script before I submit it? Thanks.
Comic Good evening Sharks! I’m a stand up comedian looking for an investment of 2 free drinks for a 10 minute share of my comedy routine. Sharks, do you like sentences? Well in stand up comedy we say sentences but end them … with something funny. Like the other day, I was at the airport, and my friend came up to me, and was like … Tinder.
Blank stares from Sharks.
Comic humps stool
thunderous applause from Sharks.
Comic I have a social media platform of over 200 followers, I think Amy Shumer sucks and once I bugged a headliner into saying “yeah yeah, great stuff kid”. So Sharks, are you fuckers ready to chuckle?
Applause from sharks.
Kevin O'Leary Great presentation, did you bring any examples of these funny sentences?
Comic Kevin, I don’t come down to where you work and slap the dick out your mouth. You stupid fucking cunt. I hope you die on the way home.
Comic slams mic onto ground Comic (off mic) COMEDIAN DESTROYS HECKLER
Mark Cuban laughs.
Barbara Corcoran What kind of numbers are we talking here? Are you making a profit?
Comic With my current numbers I’m projected to have an entire 6 pack of free drinks by 2018.
Sharks glance at each other with surprise.
Kevin O'Leary Look, I just don’t understand why you can’t do what Jackie Gleason did. For that reason I’m out.
Daymond John Stand up comedy is such an over saturated market, What’s going to stop me from sitting at home and watching Netflix or YouTube? What you going to do to set yourself apart?
Comic I’ve recently put Comedian in my Facebook name.
Sharks look impressed, nod in satisfaction
Daymond John I think you’re on the right track, but I usually invest with actual money and not drinks. For that reason I’m out.
Barbara Corcoran I’m prepared to make you an offer. I’ll give you stage time, no free drinks, but you’ll get exposure to over 25 free ticket winners.
Dramatic Music.
Comic Wow, thank you for the offer, but like I said up front, I could really use the 2 free drinks. Is there anyway you could come up?
Mark Cuban Listen kid, I think you have a solid product here, so I’m going to make you an offer. 1 free drink, stage time and I’ll make you a graphic to lord over people on Facebook so they think you’re a working comic. Do we have a deal?
Kevin O'Leary Okay, so you have 2 offers what is it going to be?
Commercial break.
Dramatic music, camera switching back and forth from the comic to the sharks.
Comic Barbara, your offer was great and I really appreciate it But I’m going to get out here on this ….. I have to go with Mark.
Mark comes out to greet the comic. They hug.
Mark (whispers) Get some puppets kid. People fucking love puppets.
outro credits
Deconstructing Masculinity & Manhood with Michael Kimmel @ Dartmouth College
YAAAAEEESSSSSSS
You know what I like, and feel is so important? That he doesn’t say “Men thinks those are THEIR positions”. He says “We think those are OUR positions.”
As a male feminist, he still doesn’t exclude himself from the group of men.
Damn.
Well said.
purchasing a rabbit was one of the best things i’ve done for myself 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽2017 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽aint 👏🏽👏🏽ready👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Omg I have a chance rn to get a healthy rabbit for free but I looked up all the care for them and everything and … it’s too much ..so no rabbit for me :/ lol I mean if I had my own place .. but I right now it’s just not realistic
omg do u mean like a bunny rabbit or 😭😭
Oh shit is there a difference? 😳😳 lmaoooo
am talking abt a rabbit vibrator for like masturbation but 😩😩 i hope u get ur kinda rabbit someday! they’re so cute and playful i used to have two
IM FUCKING SCREAMING
Gossamer Wings by William Dalton on Flickr.
Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and savor each moment as it passes; embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of every day. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation. –Papyrus
I…Ah…hmm.
Look, it’s a great photo. The photographer kicked butt. They should be very proud of this photo.
But hummingbirds are not carrying your hopes for joy around. I am sorry. Have you met hummingbirds? Hummingbirds believe strongly that they should be eighteen feet tall and have flamethrowers. They are a half ton of pugnacious wrapped up in a half ounce of feathers. Given the choice, hummingbirds would fly around with “Ride of the Valkyries” blasting out of tiny speakers on their wings, putting the eyes out of their enemies.
They do not fear humans, but if they learn that humans will provide feeders, they will become very demanding. They are fiercely territorial. They are…kind of jerks, actually.
Also, there are papers indicating that female hummingbirds engage in what can only be termed “nectar-based prostitution” where they trade sexual favors to males in return for access to particularly rich nectar sources.
If your hopes for love involve nectar and your hopes for joy involve crushing your foes, seeing them driven before you, hearing the lamentations of their nestlings, etc, then possibly the hummingbird may carry them around, otherwise…uh…have you considered vultures? Vultures are very pleasant, affectionate, and social birds. You should probably give them your hopes and dreams. They would be better at it.
Did I mention it’s a great photo?
VULTURES, NOW.
this is Jack.
Jack (full name: Jack Sparrow) lives at the Hawk Conservancy. (He’s missing some toes because he was rescued from Vulture Smugglers.)
When you interact with Jack, you can tell he’s at about the level of … something between a ferret and a dog. Funny short little attention span, and a weird face to look at, but a human reads him as curious, friendly and interested in people.
When you meet a working vulture, you realize that they are definitely a wild predatory animal and very instinctive, but with a consciousness that extends to interest in their surroundings; like, he’s very much focused on THE SNACK, but before and after the SNACKTIME he also wants to have a chat about your day and look at your face and peer into your camera and ask to look at the pictures you took and then say “hey now take one where I’m doing duckface” and you’re like “ok Jack go ahead”
Contrast with owls, which are typically pretty, but which are basically as interactive as a pop-up ad. They exist to land on things and eat them. They are not complicated. Vultures are hey-whatcha-doin. They’re yeah I’m a psychopomp but my real hobby is DJ-ing. They’d like to couchsurf next time they’re in town. You’d let them.
I would give Jack my dreams to carry. He would hold them well, in his big black lovely inky eyes, in his broken gentle feet.
Why is the last line making me tear up?
What a sweet vulture.
This is the best thing I have read today tbh
I was just thinking about jack today and then someone was like “hey I liked jack” so let’s have jack back again.
Ropey Beginner’s FAQ
How do I find people to tie with?
Go to RopeBite.com to find casual/educational meetups, or make a Fetlife account and search for “[My City] Rope.” Classes, Munches or Skill Shares are a good place to start.
But I’m shyyyyyyyyyyyy
I can relate. But the bright side is, those events tend to be EXTREMELY newbie friendly. When I ran a monthly rope event, we probably had an average of 2-3 people per month who wandered in like “This is my first time….. so uhhhh….. how do I…. like…. do this?”
Trust me, at a place like Rope Bite, they’re used to that. Going without a partner is probably ok too; just be polite. More here, here, and here.
What Rope Should I Buy?
Here’s my short answer Here’s a more comprehensive breakdown of different rope types
How much rope do I need to tie someone up?
3 to get someone tied up, 5 to really have some fun, 7 for most non-suspension applications.
How long should ropes be?
When in doubt, you sorta can’t go wrong with 25-26 feet (about 8 meters). But, Your Ideal Length actually depends on a couple of things.
Also, different tying styles tend to prefer different lengths. Personally, I prefer 23 feet for most of my ropes (Here’s why)
Can heavier people be suspended?
Totally. I’m personally like, moderately pudgy? I’ve been suspended on numerous occasions.
Learnings and Stuff
Video Tutorials an incomplete list of my favorites
All About Cutting Tools to keep handy when you tie someone up
Ropey Book Recommendations. and also this.
Photography Tutorials. First one. Second one. Also this.
Suspension Rigs / Anchor Points Breakdown
Nerve Safety
Upper Limb Nerve Safety: The Basics (by me)
Nerve Safety Breakdown (also by me)
Lower Limb Nerve Safety (presentation by me, with special help from @ropebaby)
Anatomy for Rope (youtube video by ipCookieMonster and friends)
Nerve Injury Reference Card (from Frozen Meursault; original source here)
AND I KNOW I COMPLAINED ABOUT BEING CALLED A MEME'ER THE OTHER DAY THIS IS DIFFERENT!
sword girlfriend
like a regular girlfriend but with a sword
now THIS is a POST
shiiiiiiiiiiit
POLYAMORY POST. YASSSSS
precisely the twist i was hoping for
this is what i wanted