i get eaten by the worms. and weird fishes.

vicarious trauma n general moping qwoc. mid 20s. this was my cringe teenage vent blog that i still post to, mind the step.

[fuckingventy]

i’m gonna graduate without fresh cuts on me. i just have to make it two more days

[fuckingventy]

on connections that should’ve ended, and on trying to make them into art

[apolladay]

have u ever been liked romantically

--yes by multiple people

--someone told me they liked me

--i heard someone liked me from a third person

--i had suspicions but no confirmation

--not that i know of

Have u ever been liked romantically

yes by multiple people

someone told me they liked me

I heard someone liked me from a third person

I had suspicions but no confirmation

not that I know of

Voting ended onAug 10, 2025

[fuckingventy]

i love being aromantic (<- guy who is lying)

[fuckingventy]

thinking about you again. i don’t love you. i check obituaries for your name. i stalk you on the internet like you did to me for real. i don’t know what’s worse: if you moved on or if you didn’t. i think if i was a better person i would’ve loved you back and it could’ve saved you. i can’t believe i’m going to be alone forever. sometimes i hope you die and suffer. mostly i just hope you’re well. not too well. it’s better for you to be ill through no fault than to be ill in my name. i wish you had touched me so i could have something to throw up about. i don’t mean that. i can’t believe i’m going to be myself forever.

[fuckingventy]

WAITING. WAITING DRIVES YOU CRAZY.

[fuckingventy]

i think she is going to die

[fuckingventy]

you deserved better than you got someone’s gotta say it sometime cause it’s true people should’ve told you you were awesome instead of talking advantage of you

[fuckingventy]

i dont deserve the good ive been given. all i do is waste my own time

[fuckingventy]

i would wait for you but i will not follow you. i would stay for you but i cannot go with you. i can love you but i cannot love this. i can love you but i cannot stomach it.

[fuckingventy]

I DONT WANT TO ““URGE SURF”” ANYMORE I WANTO EXPLODE INTO GUTS

[peach-pot]

conversations of amatonormativity and consent overlap a lot and should be discussed side by side more frequently. because when you live in a society that teaches you that you’re supposed to want sex and romance, that you may want to say no in the moment but you shouldn’t say no forever, any statements about consent get muddied. you cannot at once preach that consent is vital and “you can always say no” and also insist that people should give sex and romance a try, even when they express disinterest, telling them “eventually you’ll find the right person.”

[specialagentartemis]

#also people who are really strict about consent when it comes to sex #seem much less concerned when it comes to romance #and then suddenly pressuring is fine and even charming depending on its presentation (tags via OP)

[fuckingventy]

i always figured i’d get that thigh tattoo once i quit sh’ing. and now i don’t know if i ever will

[fuckingventy]

all my scars are near invisible until they’re in the right light and then all the sudden my thigh is like a topographical map. feels both like a huge secret and like it’s all out there in the open. i’ve never hidden them people just don’t look

[emohorseboy]

we really need to be providing support for people who self-harm that doesn’t just begin and end with ‘don’t!’ as the only acceptable goal and outcome and usually the only piece of advice.

there needs to be room for honest discussions and acknowledgement of the fact that even people who are aiming to stop completely are more than likely going to hurt themselves at some point during that process, and not everyone wants to stop completely.

i’ve been accessing various kinds of ‘mental health care’ for many years and every single time i’ve asked for some advice on wound care and knowing when i need to seek medical help i get met with confusion or shut down completely - once i was even told that the trust in question used to make and give out a leaflet about keeping as safe as possible when self-harming but that they’d stopped because they just wanted to push people to stop instead.

at present most services, therapists, psychs, etc are totally unwilling to engage with/meet someone where they’re at with their goals around self-harm and respect their decisions if they are anything other than ‘i want to stop entirely’. someone like me whose goals around it are ‘take better care of injuries, avoid infections, get medical attention when needed’ doesn’t get help to work towards that goal, only condescending arguments about how i can’t possibly know what is best for me and i have to stop. professionals would rather keep arguing the same point than actually help someone work towards putting themselves in less danger and reducing the negative impact of self-harm on their life and body.

and the amount of times i’ve seen the sharing of harm reduction resources (wound care information, free first aid supplies, etc) in ‘mental health support’ spaces shut down as ‘promoting self-harm’ is shameful.

we are doing people who self-harm a huge disservice by pretending that making harm reduction information so difficult to find is somehow helping.

at best it’s patronising and out of touch with reality (people do self-harm, no matter how hard you try to prevent it), at worst it’s dangerous.

[fuckingventy]

in a better timeline, there's a word for the violation of autonomy, body, and spirit of a person forcing themselves on you emotionally and romantically. in a better life, this kind of harm could be recognized without dismissal or victim-blaming

[fuckingventy]

crashing out like crazy i need to be killed