not a skrink or a scrod

you stupid loggerblogger

[fuckityshitbang]

do NOT interact if you are an aries SUN , have WRINKLE brain (MANY fold specifically), were born on a half moon, enjoy DC haus music, are 100% SOBER, do NOT get HORNY due to RAIN, have less than 500 STRANGE FACTS off cuff, have not had a NDE on a different existential plane, can NOT fail at long division, or like harem anime

THANK you

[mirkemenagerie]

Can Sounsyy do a lore post on the various drugs of XIV?

Drugs in Eorzea

Illicit Drugs

Somnus  (most similar to Opium?)

Chuchuto: “Somnus… That’s the mind warping-substance made from dream flowers. Those who overindulge are said to fall into an eternal slumber.”

Ahldskyf: “As you suspected, these are the highly illegal blooms known as dream flowers. They are the prime ingredient in the creation of “somnus”─a substance whose fragrance is said to lull the sniffer’s mind into the sleep of death.”

Hungry Hobbledehoy: “Please, ma'am. My baby brother is hungry, but my mother is too weak to feed him. My father left before I reached my third nameday, and my grandfather died last week in Copperbell Mines. My sister moved away to a rich merchant’s house and no longer visits us, and my older brother lies all day in the corner with his somnus pipe… If you could spare some food… Even the leaves of a cactuar would suffice…”

Pluto

Weggfarr Wideaxe: “'Case yer wonderin’, that was pluto! Just a draft of it, an’ yer body turns hard as iron! Not even blades can pierce it!”

Milkroot  (most similar to LSD or Ayahuasca?)

Milkroot: “The thick white sap extracted from this ochu root has the power to grant its user wondrously terrible visions.”

Got Milkroot: “Milkroot is a curse upon the people of the Twelveswood, destroying lives and tearing apart families. The sylphs who grow the deadly drug must be dealt with, but until they can be found, we must concentrate our efforts on ridding the forest of the saplings.”

Dreamtoad Ooze: “A slippery substance secreted by a dreamtoad. Known to enhance the hallucinatory effects of milkroot.”

Dreamweed

Dreamweed: “A prohibited substance. Merely knowing of its existence is hazardous to one’s health.”

Blackroot Rose

The Root of the Problem: “A pack of normally placid antelopes has grown frenzied and begun attacking botanists participating in the Greatloam Growery’s reforestation project. After inspecting the carcass of one of the beastkin, it is believed the animals must have eaten the leaves of the blackroot rose, known to cause horrible visions and induce extreme fits of violence. In their current state, the animals are a threat to the botanists, the forest, and themselves, and so to prevent any further incidents, it has been decided that the antelops must be put down. Our guild is searching for adventurers willing to carry out the grim task.”

Falsely-advertised Tonics

Las Vegas Fanfest 2014: “In Limsa Lominsa, the original Arcanist quest that was supposed to be released in 1.0 was actually about this disease spreading around La Noscea called the Green Rot. It would infect all of these people and they would die. To make money off of this, a bunch of merchants would try to smuggle in snake oils and tonics and things like that, and try to sell those to the people dying so they could get their money because they knew they were going to die anyway and were desperate.

You, as the Assessors (because at Mealvaan’s Gate the arcanists are Assessors) would check the stuff coming in. One of the jobs would have you check ships and confiscate all of this contraband. That was going to be the original arcanist story, but that got completely scrapped and turned into the current version.”

Guntram: “Phew, you’ve saved my hide, friend. Just stopped to give my cargo a check on the way to Ul'dah and saw that all my bottles of Radz-at-Han skin tonic were as empty as a Garlean promise. Looks as though the lids shook off in transit and the whole load spilled right out. But I refuse to have it said that Guntram failed to make good on a delivery. Cactuar blood is supposed to help keep the skin supple. I’ll just use what you’ve brought to fill the empty bottles, and all those lovely Ul'dahn ladies will be none the wiser. Oh, don’t worry about getting found out. Radz-at-Han skin tonic is still a rare find, all the more so this far south. I’d venture none in Ul'dah would even know it from an ampoule of their own piss.”

Cactuar Blood: “Actually, this clear liquid is far closer to water than it is blood… except, that is, for the cactuar it is taken from. For him it is most definitely blood.”

Babaki: “I tell you this - there’s more coin to be had in placebos than in all the alchemical agents in this damned place!”

Medicinal Drugs

Frondale’s Phrontistery

Nogeloix: “Good evening to you, sir, and welcome to Frondale’s Phrontistery. You will find the finest alchemists and healers in Eorzea within these halls. Our treatments are second to none. While I have your attention, I would like to warn you that remedies of dubious utility are rampant on the streets of Ul'dah of late, peddled by swindlers who seek to profit from the spreading fear over the lesser moon.”

Kukusi: “Don’t tell me the noises at night are keeping you up as well. We’ve more sleep-deprived patients than I know what to do with, and our store of sleeping droughts is far from limitless. To make matters worse, Ul'dah’s merchants have been buying up every known remedy for sleeplessness. There’s scarce a cup of warm milk to be had anymore, let alone the most potent of reagents. No doubt they smelled a profit.

Luckily, however, the thing I currently desire is not at all hard to find - providing you know where to look! Now, creatures known as nutgrabber marmots nest to the north and east of Camp Black Brush, and these unassuming beasts spend their waking hours foraging for slumber nuts - those being the items I lack.The clamor and bright lights of Ul'dah can be ungodsly at times. I could understand if one newly come to the city could not sleep for a time, but this… It is beyond strange. With your help, we shall restore the bliss of slumber and the beauty of dreams to those poor souls they have forsaken!”

Obili Tambili: “Receive what potions and salves you can, but do not seek a bed here. I know not what ails you, but the costs of a room will do you far more harm.”

Miyaya: “To be seen and tended to is cheap enough, I grant you. It’s the medicines what run you a pretty gil. The stuff comes in all manner of potencies and doses, but don’t let that confuse you - it’s always the costliest what works the wonders.”

Curing Greyscale: “After moons of research, Frondale’s Phrontistery leeches have discovered that the shell of a certain species freshwater crayfish contains a substance that, when mixed with wine and the root of the mandrake, cures greyscale. The Phrontistery wishes to begin mass production of the tincture immediately, and requires large quantities of bigclaw crayfish from the cenotes near Camp Black Brush.”

Curing Gout: “After moons of research, Frondale’s Phrontistery leeches have discovered that a certain species of freshwater moss contains a substance that, when mixed with clover honey and ahriman eyes, cures gout. The Phrontistery wishes to begin mass production of the tincture immediately, and requires large quantities of jade marimo from the cenotes near Camp Halatali.”

Curing the Flux: “After moons of research, Frondale’s Phrontistery leeches have discovered that the scales of a certain species of freshwater pipira contains a substance that, when mixed with alum and leaf of lavender, cures the crimson flux. The Phrontistery wishes to begin mass production of the tincture immediately, and requires large quantities of bitterbite pipira from the cenotes near Camp Drystone.”

Don’t Forget to Take Your Meds: “Final examinations are coming up at Frondale’s Phrontistery. One can hardly sleep for all the shrieking, and the streets below the dormitories fill with a miasma of fretful sighs heavy with onions and wakefulness. At this juncture, the potion of intelligence would be a public service.”

Riches’ Brew: “I need hardly tell you that alchemy remains a major industry for Ul'dah; potions are now one of our top exports. The exact economics may be beyond your capacity to understand—I intend no offense—but suffice to say that the dragon wars in Ishgard have been very… good to us.”

Eye Drops

Blue in the Eye: “A terrible outbreak of ceruleum eye – a sickness in which the infected eye clouds a deep blue, causing temporary blindness, paralysis, nausea, and a slew of other symptoms – in a nearby village has depleted Camp Horizon’s stocks of medicine, and Quartermaster Aistrach has placed an order with the Jolly Raptor for a new crate of medicine. The Jolly Raptor will handsomely reward skilled alchemists to create the requested items and deliver them to Aistrach in Horizon’s Edge.”

Gridanian Healers

Tickling Whiskers: “Orobon whiskers used by local healers in the concoction of powerful potations and unguents have had to be imported from the distant island of Vylbrand. Recently, though, rumors of the strange wavekin sloshing about the forest have begun surfacing in inns and pubs throughout Gridania. If the rumors are true, then this could be a prime opportunity to collect orobon whiskers locally. Black Rabbit Traders is hiring adventurers to travel to one of the locations mentioned in the rumors─Nine Ivies─and collect as many of the alchemical ingredients as possible.”

No Leaves Left Behind: “For generations, hamlet healers have applied the sticky leaves of various landtrap creatures to burns and cuts to help quicken their mending. Unfortunately, ever more frequent confrontations with neighboring beast tribes have seen demand for the leaves overtake supply. To see that those injured are not left to suffer, good coin will be paid for freshly harvested specimens.”

Mother’s Mercy

Coat the Harm (L): “A dragon claw or chocobo’s talon to a soft stomach will speed a man towards his congregation with Halone unless a remedy known as Mother’s Mercy is ingested in time. The medicine swiftly coats the inside of the stomach with a thick mucus, allowing the blood to clot and the wound to close. Due to the value in curing such grave wounds, Mother’s Mercy is a staple of every chirurgeon’s field kit. A knowledgeable botanist should be able to procure large quantities of gentian, the main ingredient which allows for clotting—though they will need to brave the Chocobo Forest to do so, as the plant no longer grows in Coerthas.”

(Perfect) Gentian

Ladies and Gentians: “The infirmaries that treat the Temple Knights are afforded facilities and tools of utmost modernity and our services profit much from the High Houses’ grace, though we find it is not coin that we lack. Alas, for too many years had we taken the gentian plant of Coerthas for granted, as the everwinter choked out most of the vegetation, so did the region’s gentian plants perish. A simple ingredient for medicines to cure stomach pain was once in the back of our minds has now become a constant worry in terms of supply, and can only be found in the Chocobo Forest these days. Might you fly out to the region and harvest some stock to replenish our cabinets?”

More lore on Long Term Injuries and Magical/Non-magical Healing Practices here.

Miscellaneous Substances

Fogweed

Vath Searcher: “Tailfeather hunters ask us for herbs, but not for eating or salve-making. Fleshlings want to make smoke for recreation.They say inhaling smoke has a pleasing effect, but we do not understand. Smoke is for driving away dragons or vermin. This use of smoke seems very strange. Yes, much too strange.Now, what did the fleshlings say to do? First, dry them with fire shards, like so. Then chop into fine pieces, and… There, it is done.”

Dried Fogweed: “Fogweed, cured with fire shards and finely chopped. Residents of Tailfeather claim the fragrant aroma helps calm their nerves while on the hunt.”

Loupard: “Back when the Sharlayans were still here, they cultivated the stuff in their conservatories. After they packed up and left, though, the plants made their way into the wilds and, well, here we are.”

Dried Cloudcrawler  (off-gasses euphoric aroma that affects Gaelicats)

Dried Cloudcrawler: “Cloudcrawler is a swift-growing vine that clings to the bottoms of islets found in the Sea of Clouds. When dried, the vines are pliable enough to weave into baskets or even crude armor.”

Peculiar Herb

Peculiar Herb: “A common weed rumored to have relaxing properties when either ingested or smoked.”

Shriekshroom Cap

Spores for the Ceremony: “The Stillglade Fane is busy making preparations for this moon’s Woodgreet Mass, and requires the spores of several funguar to use in the Leafreading Ceremony, in which several of the brothers and sisters ingest the spores, which are said to give them the temporary power to “see” the messages left by the spirits in the leaves.”

“Chanterelles”

A Real Fungi: “The land around the Red Rooster Stead is full of wild mushrooms. None of them are exactly poison, but they put folk out of the way for a few bells, if you get my meaning. Now, we’ve got someone coming from the bank─you’ll not hear the reason why from me─and we need a dish of mushies so toothsome he’ll eat it all.”

Potions of Strength  (Steroids)

Just Give Him a Serum: “Like all of Master Gegeruju’s purchases, the men that guard Costa del Sol are the finest of their kind. It is perhaps no surprise that such men have certain—eccentricities. Take this formulation, make your delivery, and thank the gods that they are on our side.”

Devil Take the Foremost: “Ah, the Coliseum management. They have taken the recent odium over alchemical enhancements to their black hearts and propose to let combatants alter their chemistry unhindered. Pray to the Twelve these alchemical potations will not further addle those long befuddled by dreams of glory.”

Ironhide Unguent

Ironhide Unguent: “This foul-smelling salve increases physical defense.”

Potions of Vitality*  (Nitrate or Viagra/Sildenafil)

*In case you were wondering why tanks get big epeens?

A Matter of Vital Importance: “Ah, another cockeyed order for your purse’s pleasure: potion of vitality to “awake the inner beastman.” Charming. You know, I’ve oft wondered if most men wouldn’t be better served by a potion of unmanning. My own life may be called an abject lesson in the perils of licentiousness.”

Red Landtrap Vine Sap

A Roseling by Any Other Name: “Known for its aphrodisiacal properties, sap from the vines of the rarely seen Ocean Roseling has become increasingly popular on the pleasure boats anchored in the bay off the Captains Ward. The Brugaire Consortium will handsomely reward anyone willing to travel to Bloodshore and procure several specimens.”

Sabotender Flower Petals

Flower Power: “A recent rumor claims that when dried, soaked in honey, and then applied to the forehead, sabotender flower petals can cure headaches caused by overdrinking. Do the rumors contain any merit? None employed at the Seventy-seven Caravans fancies herself a leech or barber, and therefore cannot attest to any of the claims made regarding the flowers’ curative properties (or lack thereof). We simply seek to provide a supply to meet the demand, and are offering good coin for sabotenders pacified and delivered to us alive, so that we might grow our profits.”

On top of all of these listed, you can also research the medicinal properties of many real world plants which also appear in Eorzea or have Eorzean equivalents. You can theoretically create an unlimited number of conventional medicines, salves, etc. For a comprehensive look at Eorzea’s canon flora, I highly recommend @tinolqa ‘s Botanica Eorzea!

Hope this helps!

[keali-pinini-deactivated2019022]

Lore question here. 

It’s only been 5 years since the Black Shroud had beings in it that could literally turn you to stone, or straight up send you to the “Far Plane,” if you missed with the balance of the woods.  

How is it that so many people are dismissive of the Elementals now, as if they never existed? Because “I never see them in cutscenes, so they’re not really there!”? 

The reason I ask is because Keali is becoming more in tune with Gridania’s woods than she earlier thought she would. Re-learning the healing arts opened her eyes for more things. 

I had the pleasure of her arguing the paranormal vs religion with many characters now, so please don’t think I don’t want more people for Keali to argue with. XD Because that’s just fun!

[nightmaze]

@mirkemenagerie can probably answer to your questions :) !

[mirkemenagerie]

@nightmazing, I can’t seem to tag @keali-pinini…

The ancient elementals of the Twelveswood, referred to by Conjurers and Padjals as the “Great Ones,” were severely weakened by the most recent Calamity. Elementals, being beings made entirely of aether, are intrinsically tied to the lifeblood of Hydaelyn and to that of nature. When the Twelveswood was burnt and damaged in the Calamity, the elementals became significantly weaker than they were just 5 years ago.

Oswold: “The elementals are the eternal guardians of the Twelveswood. Since time immemorial, they have watched over the forest and all life within, ensuring that the balance of nature is preserved. By an ancient covenant, man was permitted to reside in the Twelveswood. Thus was the nation of Gridania born, some five centuries ago. Alas, the elementals were gravely weakened during the calamitous events that ushered in the Seventh Umbral Era. Mere mortals though we be, it now falls to us to protect the forest with body, mind, and spirit.”

Alixie: “We once relied on the elementals to protect the Twelveswood, but with their power now diminished, it falls to us to shoulder this burden. The Bannock was built for this very purpose. It is a tangible symbol of the commitment both the Elder Seedseer and the Order of the Twin Adder have made to maintaining the balance of the forest.”

People are especially dismissive of elementals now, but they also always have been. (This applies to Players as well as NPCs, especially outsiders! Most of whom have never heard of an elemental.) While elementals exist in every stone, every leaf, every stream, and the very wind, most elementals will not or can not reveal themselves to mankind without the protection of the Irmin Hedge. The Irmin Hedge, or just the Hedge, is a magical barrier raised around the Twelveswood to ward off evil and protect both elemental and forestborn. Multiple attempts to raise the Hedge were made before the Calamity after the Garlean invasion tore it down, however, these attempts were unsuccessful.

Papalymo: “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. There are elementals in all sorts of things. Rocks, rivers, flowers. They are the unifying force of this entire forest.”

Soileine: “Among the elementals of the Twelveswood, there are some whose strength far surpasses that of others. They reside within the ancient trees. Thus disaster follows whenever these trees are felled or burned. The fury of the elementals within reaches heights we cannot calm. It is for that reason we have created the Hedge. Yet the elementals live in all things. As Gridanians, we embrace this truth, while many outsiders remain oblivious to it. When these irreverent souls breach the Hedge and enter the wood, they defile it with every breath they draw. And so invite the elementals’ anger─the greenwrath. In this manner, they endanger not only themselves, but us as well. Thus do we make it our mission to scout the Twelveswood in search of them.”

Basewin: “The Black Shroud… Forest-born call it the Twelveswood. And that Hedge of theirs borders it all. I heard it said the conjurers make them hedgetrees with their magic. Up close, they shine—shine like no natural tree got any right to. Ain’t nothing stopping you looking at ‘em, o’ course. Cutting and burning ‘em, though… Well, every adventurer worth his spit knows better than to mark them trees up.”

O-App-Pesi: “The Empire’s assaults grow ever more frequent and vicious. To make matters worse, it would seem they have established a new stronghold in Mor Dhona. With the enemy so close at hand, there is no hope of raising the Irmin Hedge. In the absence of such a barrier, we are left no recourse but to put down whatever manner of fiend breaks through by force of arms alone. Those able to fight must do so.”

But just because the Irmin Hedge and the elementals it was meant to protect have been severely weakened, it does not mean that the elementals are gone or are irrelevant to Gridanian culture. Any Gridanian character, in fact, who is older than five should have a great understanding of the old ways of Gridania, showing the greatest reverence for the elementals. They pervade every aspect of Gridanian culture, even if the recent Calamity forced the sylvan nation out of its isolationism.

I’ll link some pertinent links for the many Conjurer roleplayers out there:

Stillglade Fane Lore

A Conjurer’s Attire & What the Colors Signify

Elemental Lore

Woodsin & Greenwrath Lore

Hedge Tree Lore & the Irmin Hedge

Hope this helps! ^^

For those of you who didn’t play 1.0, are unaware, or just want to see what an elemental is capable of, here’s a collection of cutscenes showing how terrifying elementals and their Greenwrath truly are.

Wood’s Will Be Done.

[ivaan-ffxiv]

^This is what Ivaan tries to tell you silly outsiders!

[fuckityshitbang]

my trad bg keeper OC reuniting with two out of his three 6-years estranged sisters and everyones over everyone immediately

[cinnamnt]

water be tasting so good when yore tirsty

[fuckityshitbang]

dam if you think abt it its rly so true

[anxeious]

[fuckityshitbang]

imo its honestly a product of rampant self-objectification which makes sense with the rise of fascism and the rights of many being taken away. people become stoic ornaments. it's wild

[televisionenjoyer]

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

[anxeious]

[shepardlives]

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

[shepardlives]

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

[ii-zi]

yes

[joematar]

pairs well with this one

[ageae]

[ingridverse]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Oh, dear. I can't reblog that fast enough.

[crazy-brazilian]

[ashstfu]

the fact that 2026 is three months away and 2015 is going to be ten years ago…

[setewbro]

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

[theelderscrotess]

[corporationsarepeople]

Don’t forget about this, with all the more recent violence going on.

[meandmybigmouth]

NOTHING SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF WHITE CANDYASS RACIST ASSHOLES THAN A STRONG WOMAN OF COLOR WOMEN WHO SPEAKS HER MIND AND DEFENDS AMERICA AND IT'S PEOPLE!

[fuckityshitbang]

they also hate women more intelligent than them, especially black women. i love miss crockett

[mona-l1sa]