[fudgeitforchris-blog]

guy on catfish: she's my soul mate and even if she's lying I would love her no matter what if it's the same person emotionally

catfish host: what if she's like, less hot

guy on catfish: well... Huh... I hadn't considered that

[rneerkat-deactivated20220104]

“you think youre pretty hot stuff dont you?” i sneer at the forest fire. it gets self conscious and starts crying and its own tears put it out. one more forest saved

[thechargrey]

A little tip for parents with children in school (or for children in school to show their parents)

My mom gave me and my sister two days every semester that she called “mental health days.”

Those were days, that for ANY reason, and without having to tell my mom the reason, we could skip the day of school. We’d just tell her we were taking a mental health day and she’d call the school and let them know we were not coming in. 

#1 This helped keep our grades up by lowering our stress levels. I never got a C in any grade school class. The majority of my classes I received A’s. I also took 4 AP classes and they were not weighted. Trust me, it made a difference.

#2 I never felt the need to skip school. I knew if I ever wanted to or needed to my mom would help me. 

Your kids are young and need time to recover. They need some days where they can do nothing but stay in bed for no reason. They need their own space where their privacy is respected. It will make a huge difference.

[buckwildbarrelracer-deactivated]

Will do this when I have kids

[mossman-making-stars]

I would like to add something to this for the teachers too! (I may have already told this story on tumblr but OH WELL I’m telling it again)

One of my math teachers in high school had a policy called The Red Beanbags of Don’t Bother Me. He kept a pile of red beanbags on his desk, and at any time of the day you could go over and take one. From that point on, as long as you were in his classroom with a beanbag on your desk, no one could bother you. He wouldn’t call on you to answer problems, no students were allowed to talk to you, and perhaps most importantly, no one could ask why you took a bean bag that day. The only caveat was that if you used the beanbag more than three times in a semester you had to go talk to the school counselor about it.

I only used the beanbag a handful of times during those 4 years, but it was a godsend when I needed it. I knew people who would camp in his classroom during lunch (or even skip class and stay there all day) under the protection of the beanbag. As a teacher there’s not always a lot you can do for a student suffering mental illness/emotional abuse/ other struggles, but giving them some space and privacy in your class can make a HUGE difference.

[darkalleysunflower]

Posts like this can save lives.

[dumdolly]

this is all so wonderful, I only wish I had these when I was in high school. so I’ll reblog hoping that others can have them

[sixpenceee]

Nudibranchs are shell-less marine mollusks. Some 6,000 species live all over the world. They are noted for their often extraordinary colours and striking forms. (Source)

[heartbreakhur]

:)

[kehlso]

[blasianxbri]

Cincinnati zoo shot and killed a gorilla after a toddler entered its habitat and I realized I’m mad

[fiji-11ama-deactivated20171015]

they could have tranquilized it

[imsoshive]

oh well

[jeanqrey]

I fed all of Leslie’s e-mails, letters, and memos into a program and generated a word cloud. This is how we can get gift ideas.

[lipid-raft]

I’m never calling anybody my better half like. first of all I’m whole and second of all nobody is a better me than me

[skelebabie]

making fun of people who flinch is a shitty thing to do!!!!!!!!!!! don’t do it!!!!!!! if someone flinches and you laugh and deliberately scare them again that makes you an asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mymodernmet]

Street Artist JR Makes the Louvre “Disappear” with Creative Optical Illusion

[tastefullyoffensive]

Duck!

[thomas-is-my-name]

Guy 1: Shit, duck! Guy 2: (laughing) Ah, cos of the duck, is it? [A duck flies directly into Guy 2’s face with a loud “FLUMP” sound]

[movedtothickhairandnounderw-blog]

Was this even planned I love it

[outraged]

I wish I wasn’t so annoying like I even piss myself off

[micdotcom]

Watch: “Liberal Redneck” suggests some other countries where these bigots can go live.

[matchgirl42]

“You’re a white person in America, so I could see why you’d think this, but tellin’ other people how to live is actually NOT a right you have.”

DING DING DING

[everydayiztumberling]

[agoodflyting]

It’s really refreshing to see this, coming from someone who lives in the South.

[catscratching]

I honestly have to second the last comment on this.  I’m so used to the South being a bastion of racism and other grossness, it’s so good to see a Southerner calling people on their shit.

[throwoveryourman-deactivated201]

you ever hoist a big laundry basket on your hip and feel like the great tragedy of your life is that you weren’t born a hearty peasant girl in medieval england who’d die at 22 from an abscessed tooth

[throwoveryourman-deactivated201]

imo the fact that people apparently relate to this points to some kind of weird cell memory of centuries of female labour that’s activated by extended pressure against the hipbone. im becoming an evolutionary psychologist it was wonderful knowing you all

[onlytwitterpics]

[quickweaves]

WATER SIGN INTUITION

[euclasedeac]

alcoholic beverage breakdown

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.

Mead is made from honey.

Cider is made from apples.

Beer is made from grains.

Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.

They used to flavor beer with dandelions.

Ain’t that cute?

All beer is either ale or lager.

Ale is fermented at room temperature.

Lager is brewed and store cold.

Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.

Pilsner and bock are lagers.

Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.

Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.

Butterbeer isn’t real.

(Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)

Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.

Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.

Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.

Red wine is made from red grapes.

White wine is made from green grapes.

The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)

Unless you live in France.

In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.

(for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)

Champagne is any sparkling white wine.

However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.

Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.

Act like it tastes good. 

Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.

You’ll be fine.

Brandy is distilled wine.

Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.

Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.

Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.

Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.

Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.

Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.

Sweet vermouth has added sugar.

Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.

Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.

Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.

Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.

Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.

Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.

Vodka is grain alcohol and water.

Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.

Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.

Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.

Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.

Malt whisky is made from barley.

Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.

Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.

Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.

Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.

Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.

Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.

Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.

Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).

American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.

Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.

Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.

Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.

Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.

Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.

Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.

Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.

If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 

Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.

Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 

If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.

Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.

Really, do you need to drink? 

You probably don’t.

But now you know some stuff. Maybe.