ode to the sun

run, DREAM, run on

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[lorilarry]

Tidus

[blitzking]

𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔; ind. sel. priv. crossover-friendly JECHT OF FINAL FANTASY X. org. est. in 2018.

RULES / ABOUT | warning : heavy themes present

[enshijou]

“I am a dream swallower, and I poison myself. I have a palate for rare, erratic impulses.”

— Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Linotte: The Early Diary Of   Anaïs Nin (1914-1920)

[fulgensun]

☀   @shadowborders​​ // @blitzking​ :   ❛ What is it then? Why do you hesitate? ❜ (from blitzking :3 )   ☀   THE DIVINE COMEDY  :  not accepting

What a bother -- the thought barely translated in a furrow of his brows as the child let his chin fall on the ball he had been hugging for the past couple of minutes. A habit he was now used to, one he could have gladly preferred gone: fans at their door; whenever his admirers would surround Jecht, Tidus, or even the dock by their house, it felt like something did change inside the blitzer. His father would brag, indeed, but in a softer tone, in a weirder posture -- he noticed it by sitting on the pier and staring at his back, from a distance -- and he’d even smile more. It looked off to him. He’d have almost not recognized the tired man returning home from matches, silent even amidst the afterglow of victory.

‘I’d never become like him-- not even in a thousand years--’  the thought haunted him since he could’ve remembered, and the current scenery was the proof he needed. The adoration, the screaming and the requests of fans felt suffocating - and Tidus was ready to bet on his very most prized toy and possessions that their famed champion had them fooled, all wrapped around to finger to make them believe a baseless illusion of a man. All living a lie, thrilling for the dream of a match or of a favorite team scoring a goal. 

He hesitated still, as a critter caught out of surprise by a much larger beast, and immovable. Not due to fear, but of anger and annoyance. It was true he had begun training in the spherepool years ago, learnt to swim first in the unforgiving sea instead of a normal pools for children, and that his heritage made peers and trainers see him in a different light, despite the young age -- but he was no dog, not a mummet to exhibit and play with !  So why following orders like that ?!  The furrow dissipated slightly, as he recalled that exact moment: a bunch of fans looking down at him with curiosity and insistence drowning in their eyes, noticing the ball in hand and asking Tidus to show them a trick or two. Ah, for who else but the Ace’s son could have learned spectacular moves ! -- or so they thought, perhaps. He wasn’t him. He wouldn’t have put on a show at a stranger’s whim, there and now.

No matter the smiles, the gifts and the promises of adoration... he wouldn’t. He glared at his father at his inquiry, instead of the actually demanding strangers, with big blue eyes gently widening.  ❛ Because I don’t want to... ❜  he simply scoffed out with a shrug, the ball still in his arms. A kick, a figure, perhaps a backflip... or the dreaded signature shot he couldn’t emulate -- he had no actual idea what they wished to see, even !  And there was no pool nearby, either, in any case. They could have always asked their Ace who, Tidus thought, would have gladly dived into the salty sea without a single care in the world. He didn’t, though, to just keep staring at Tidus for another moment, his expression a difficult one to decipher for the kid. It prompted the child to add something:  ❛ I just don’t wanna, I’m cold... and my ankle hurts... ❜ -  a lie to get them all off his back. Ironic.

The sun was about to set anyway. His father would have soon become one with the crowd and the cheers, a procession that would have led him to the stadium entrance in pure euphoria and triumph for the match of that night. Judging by his demeanor and the lack of a mention, Tidus wasn’t allowed to follow him, tonight. He wondered if the screaming and chanting from the stadium would have traveled all the way home...

He hugged the ball tighter and got up from his seat. That, right now, didn’t felt like the place for him, and returning inside the boat, he was sure no fan of Jecht would have bothered him any longer. Just as his mind settled on seeing what his mother was up to, he turned around one last time, early enough to catch his father’s gaze linger on his son’s legs, then ankles. Tidus lowered his own gaze -- ah, he didn’t even pretend to be limping, did he ?

[heireating]

        BOOK STARTERS VOL.53    THE DIVINE COMEDY    DANTE ALIGHIERI

❛ All hope abandon, ye who enter here. ❜

❛ The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain. ❜

❛ The love that moves the sun and the other stars. ❜

❛ The devil is not as black as he is painted. ❜

❛ Through me you pass into the city of woe. Through me you pass into eternal pain. ❜

❛ Into the eternal darkness, into fire and into ice.  ❜

❛ There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery. ❜

❛ Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost. ❜

❛ Without hope we live on in desire. ❜

❛ Make my veins and pulses tremble. ❜

❛ I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath. ❜

❛ I found myself within a forest dark. ❜

❛ If the present world go astray, the cause is in you, in you it is to be sought. ❜

❛ Here were every fruit and never-ending spring. ❜

❛ The well heeded well heard. ❜

❛ Through me the way that runs among the lost. ❜

❛ A longer ladder still is to be climbed. ❜

❛ Why should you care about what’s whispered here? ❜

❛ Why have you let your mind get so entwined? ❜

❛ I was told about this torture, that it was the hell of carnal sins when reasons give way to desire. ❜

❛ What is it then? Why do you hesitate? ❜

❛ Why do you relish living like a coward? ❜

❛ A just request is to be met in silence, by the act. ❜

❛ There was not, nor will be, from the first day to the last night, an act so glorious and so magnificent. ❜

❛ Your name is widely known in hell! ❜

❛ Oh human creatures, born to soar aloft, why fall ye thus before a little wind? ❜

❛ That brute which knows no peace came ever nearer me and, step by step, drove me back down to where the sun is mute. ❜

❛ The shining strengthened me against the fright whose agony had wracked the lake of my heart through all the terrors of that piteous night. ❜

❛ It was so dark, and deep, and clouded, that I could see nothing by staring into its depths. ❜

❛ Love rules me. It determines what I ask. ❜

[iceveiined-deactivated20210919]

Um, you guys hit me?

[ethernalium]

Final Fantasy X + Various logo sketches by Yoshitaka Amano

[fulgensun]

☀  @halcyonias​  :  guess who :))  ☀ 

❛ Ehh-- ? ❜  

❛ Fine, I’ll guess, I’ll guess !  Yuna -- say, what do I win ? ❜  

[cactuarqueen]

Visit Original Link

Final Fantasy X Original Soundtrack - The Sight of Spira

[sleepydebris]

VIBE CHECK! *yearns deeply for you from an unfortunate distance*

[rpcmasterlist-deactivated202105]

Reblog this post if you are part of the Final Fantasy RPC. Please list whether you are canon, oc or verse as well as if you are single muse or multi muse and you will be added to the list! If you do not follow the instructions listed, you will not be added to the list.

link to masterlist

[fulgensun]

☀  @xamarant​  :  peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?  ☀  BOTANICAL HCS :  accepting

‘Outside the dream world, life can be harsh—even cruel. But it is life. He wanted you to have a shot at life. I saw it in Sin’s eyes. That’s why I brought you here, to Spira.’ Auron’s words do hide the true meaning of Tidus’ experience and of all that happened to him, no matter how unfair and unjust some of these might have been. Tidus has been bullied, mistreated, punched, kicked, insulted, called a madman, ostracized for being an outsider till he could prove himself useful to the noble cause of summoners and their pilgrimage, and he’s only a teen. It’s quite the big burden to take, especially given he lived a nice life till he reached Spira: he had a nice house, he was once treated like a celebrity, flocks of fans would adore him, invite him over, offer him food... that’s what he used to call and refer to, with ‘happy life’.

Yet, that wasn’t life at all. And he learns it the harsh way. The destruction of Zanarkand, the dream one, is a terrific event. Dream people think of Zanarkand as the whole world, there is nothing beyond it, the entire universe begins and ends at its borders -- Yu Yevon ‘programmed’ them to think so, and never to doubt it. To see his whole world, life and happiness be shattered by a monster like that  (in a special evening for his career and ‘personal revenge’ against Jecht’s shadow looming over him, let’s not forget that)  is beyond what he would have ever imagined. Also, Auron just being as calm as usual and even throwing him inside the monster itself, ahah !  You can get, now, why he appears conflicted in meeting Auron in Luca, and how bad he lashes out at him, on the docks. It wasn’t easy on him, Dream Zanarkand knew nothing of that sort.

Brought to the real world, in Spira, where suffering and death are daily thorns at the side to bear and accept for every man, woman and child, Tidus comes in close contact to all that he never experienced before. Battles, monsters, deception, corruption, violence and death everywhere -- starting with Operation Mi’ihen, which comes as a hard blow  (he risks to die himself, not to mention he wakes up among corpses... harsh)  for someone like him.

In Spira, the concept changed. For he came to think of  ‘ happy life ‘ , there, the same thing any other Spiran usually did: to just stay alive day after day, and see the threat of Sin gone, to maybe return home. But then, he comes to know Sin is the father he thought dead, and that the girl he grew to like and that he swore to protect is but a sacrificial lamb, useful just for bringing a fleeting peace to her torn and confused world. The concept of  ‘ happy life ‘, once coinciding with the arrival of the Calm promptly shifts again, for he cannot bear to bring Yuna to her death and live with it.

Then, everything happens TM. The truth about his origins, the final showdown, and then, the ‘rebirth’. Only then, does the concept of a new, happier life take form, for Tidus. Life is happy, when by Yuna’s side, in peace. He may brag, he may be a bit too proud -- but he’s a good boy, and wouldn’t ask for much. Happiness would come from a new sense of belonging, belonging to Spira, first and foremost; just being with his friends and Yuna, to prove himself useful, and to play blitz, would be enough for Tidus.

[nawrust]

which game did character designs like this

[fulgensun]

☀  @strfe​  :  pansy: does your muse often reflect on their own actions ?   do they ever think a lot about the past ,   and what they could have done differently ?  ☀  BOTANICAL HCS :  accepting

Oooo a lot !  Thinking about it, his whole story is basically a way he finds to look back to his past, events and decisions too -- and that we, as players, made and experienced with him. It bothers me that Tidus is very often seen simply as a carefree and silly guy, when he’s more thoughtful than what he may look like at first. His narration is a clear example of it, throughout the whole experience. He reflects, he ponders and the best thing is that he does so when in Zanarkand, at 75% of the whole game being completed. It’s a retrospective of his own adventures in Spira, his own actions are analyzed and even ‘criticized’ by Tidus himself.

An example can be found in the Farplane scene. When Yuna is explaining to him how the whole place works and she encourages him to think about Jecht, he tries not to. But his narration goes: ‘ Trying not to think about my old man made me think about him, of course’. His future self almost resents his old one, back then, for having been weak enough to think about his father, despite knowing Jecht was Sin, his soul still fighting to stay alive, and that he would have never appeared like Braska or Yuna’s mother did.

Or in Macalania Woods, the Tidus-narrator from the future, saying: ‘It’s funny how calm I was. Maybe it was because I realized that Yuna wasn’t marrying Seymour for love. Not really. It was just her duty–something she had to do before returning to her pilgrimage. That’s what I kept telling myself, anyway. And well, maybe… I realized that Yuna and I’d never…’

It’s funny, because Tidus would hardly stay put and listen to someone making the same comments to him, face to face. He’d protest, he’d brush it off, normally. And yet, here, he doesn’t hesitate in thinking so of himself, in hindsight. Of course Tidus knows what will happen during the marriage, at the time of the narration; of course he knows the true reason Jecht didn’t appear -- he’s in Zanarkan, he’s a semi-omniscient narrator and the only secret left to unfold is the one about the Final Summoning; at that point in game, Tidus already knows he isn’t technically alive, and never was. It’s only natural he’d reflect and think about his past and actions. Sin’s toxins also making him see scenes and memories from his difficult childhood days surely add their own fuel to this fire, too.

He thinks about his old home, he longed for his past life throughout the game, wanting Yuna to enjoy it too, and he doesn’t stop doing so, not even with Auron implying more than once that returning home isn’t as simple as reaching Spira might have been -- although, it’s implied dreams that reach the real world become ‘more than just a dream’, which means Tidus couldn’t have returned to his Zanarkand anyway. As for his actions, he is shown and heard thinking he could have done something different only when it comes to Yuna. In the Vocal Album, in his small audio drama, he confesses he didn’t want to see Yuna cry anymore, and that just thinking back to her tears made him feel powerless and sick. If he could find a way to save Yuna the pain and hurt, he wouldn’t let the chance slip away.

With time, though, after the events of X2 and in the novel, Tidus is shown as a more mature character. His new home is Spira, his new life awaits. Thinking back of his past life and city may not feel as such a burden anymore -- and that’s, in a few words, the gist of Tidus’ development in his story. To find joy, family, love and a home in a place that felt foreign, and that often mistreated him, but which still treasures the meaning of ‘real life’.

[tsyhere]

do you ever feel EXTRA touch starved like you’re just laying around and suddenly it’s just If I Do Not Experience Affection Right Now I Will Die And That Is A Promise

[blitzking]

@fulgensun​, blitz off

“What was that all about? Tryin’ to embarrass me? Can’t strut the Abes logo and play like that. Your mind ain’t on the game.“ Half-time. A friendly match in Luca between the Aurochs and the Psyches had the crowd go wild. Some nasty counter-play put the team from Besaid in a bad spot and chances for a recovery looked bad. Normally he’d have passed watching this or any other match when it came on the screens outside, but a little bird told him that his kid was playing. What father would he be if he didn’t see what junior was up to in the sphere? Jecht kept his presence a secret until he slid into the break-room past the security guard. Not THAT hard when he had his fans here too. Entry-ticket price? A handshake. 

Sights set on Tidus, his cocky grin dared him to raise hell and take the game back. No doubt he could, and no doubt he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t. Didn’t like the feeling that something was off though- kid seemed preoccupied with something.

[fulgensun]

He recognized the presence by the weight of the footsteps, for the locker rooms had fallen into a solemn silence, so profound and deep he could have almost sensed it, almost heard it. The voice, the familiar pace and sonority -- he was more than grateful for them, and welcomed all with open arms, with a bare tilt of the head towards the door. He was there, grinning at the spectacle; well, it mustn’t have been good anyway. In his stead, Tidus too would have probably acted the same, yet the thought was swiftly pushed out of his mind.

Ironically, the scene looked familiar. Had the two perspectives reversed, maybe Tidus would have called it a dejà vu. That, though, was a different day and a different situation altogether. He kicked the air, sitting on the bench, letting his leg swing loosely right after.  ❛ And by what did you, or any other, assume that ? ❜  he mocked the received words with a last ounce of loudmouth left in him;  ❛ I was--  I mean, didn’t you see ?  I did more shots on goal than all other Aurochs combined, today. ❜  Or so he had tried. The first true goal had yet to be scored and half-time had come sooner than expected. And the Psyches were renewed for tiring their adversaries.

He repressed the urge, at Jecht’s mention, to lower his gaze -- not at the cold floor, but upon his chest, where laid his silver chain with the Abes’ pendant. A token from home, and its dream. He came to think, now and there, that Jecht had never seen him back as a star of the Abes, under the spotlight of what they had once called their hometown. He had never truly seen him as an Abes. Funny.  ❛ I think... ❜  yes, no way he would admit it -- !  ❛ I’m just a bit distracted. Doesn’t that ever happen to you ? ❜