blooming from the gloom @fullflowerpoetry - Tumblr Blog

I've met someone and he makes me smile I want this feeling to last longer than awhile

The push and pull of the world has me tripping and stumbling through life hoping that someone will show up and catch me before I fall

My days blend into one

I haven't felt like I won

I lay awake hurting instead

The echos of confusion pound in my head

I'm standing in a field of land mines

Uncertainties cloud my mind

One misstep could be my end

I'm feeling condemned

Lifeless

Joyless

Soulless

I'm visible on the outside but

On the inside I'm fading away

A true life of disarray

Sorry for the extended hiatus.

Work has been hectic and keeping me busy lately.

I'll try to post something new soon.

Thanks for the continued support!

xoxo

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My mind is killing me slowly

The thoughts that manifest drain me daily

I try to keep things together

Positive thoughts

Happy moments

Beautiful sunsets

The things that once made me calm are now eating me alive

My health declines

My eyes overflow with tears

My screams are silent

My Heart aches

My stomach twists and knots that never want to fix themselves

I'm tired

And don't know how to ask for help

The people that love me I keep in the dark

I keep my thoughts in the dark

I stumble around looking for my spark

But

It's gone

My Heart beats and dies with you

My life started and ends with you

I can't think of a better person to love than you

You bring out the parts of me I want to keep hidden

I became who I am because of you

And there no other words to describe how I feel about you, other than

Thank you and

I love you

Forevermore

Today marks day 45 of his constant torture and abuse

Emotional

Mental

Spiritual

Physical

I had hidden from him for years and the one time I go out alone, is the day he sees me and takes me by force

He loved the slow process of tormenting me

It made his blood boil and filled him with ecstasy

Ecstasy that he never achieved with anyone else but me

Just as I threw the blanket off of me, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said getting out of bed as Frankie opened the door.

"Good morning Little Boss," he said, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Good morning Frankie and thank you," I said taking the mug he offered me, "how did you know?"

"I was going to use it to lure you out of bed for training," he said smiling.

"That would've worked," I said, taking a sip.

"Liam won't be with us today. He has meetings all day. He might be able to join us for lunch though."

"I know, he told me," I said pointing to the note on the nightstand as I set my mug down.

"Good to know he's on top of things. Although, I think he's only like that when it involves you in some way. Klaus told me that he's been more concentrated and more determined about everything. So, thank you for that."

"You don't need to thank me," I said walking into the closet to change.

"You're right," he said following me inside, "You deserve so much more than that. How about skipping training today and we go have breakfast at that diner we stopped at last night?"

Chapter Twenty-Six

Blood Soaked Sunrise

I woke up the next morning with a note on the night stand

Little Love

I had an amazing time with you and the others last night. I look forward to spending many more nights like it in the future. I can't wait to dance with you again.

I just wanted to let you know that I will not be able to accompany you at your luncheon today. I have some meetings today that I cannot continue to ignore. I may pop in for a few minutes, take Lev and then head back for more meetings. I'll call or message you when I know for sure.

Be safe.

Stay beautiful.

You Vitruvian Man

I couldn't help wondering why he needed Lev.

I couldn't think of any reasons off the top of my head, but he probably had his own reasons.

I rolled over to grab my phone to check the time.

6 A.M.

As comfortable as I was, I needed to get up to start my day.

She Flew

She had loved him for years

Cared for him

Waited for him to love her back as much she loved him

Over time she grew distant

Cold

Careless

Unbothered by his heartless actions

But her heart was still unwavering

Until one day

She woke up with clarity

Which happened to be the same day he realized he loved her the most

Unknown to him though

She no longer loved him

He came home with a bouquet of her favorite flowers

Instead of being met by her smiling face

He was met with a suitcase by the door and

Her

No smile

No twinkle in her eye

Long gone but he never noticed

He knew what was coming when she stepped to the suitcase

He told her

"I need you more than ever

I love you more anything

Please don't leave"

Her dull eyes looked at him

Through him

She told him

"I loved you more than anything

Anyone

Everything

And everyone

But now

I don't

I can't stay with you any longer

I'm leaving

So don't come looking for me

Because you'll never be able to find me"

Then she was gone

The day he loved her the most

Was the day she didn't love him anymore

It hurt her to leave him with that heartbroken look on his face

But she couldn't wait any longer for him

He'd lost her love

She gained her wings and

Flew away to

Freedom

Under this bright light my scars weren’t very noticeable

They had each in their own time had begun to fade. Taking the reminder of a tortured youth with them. Sadly, the memories still were prominent and made their existent randomly known.

The scars caused by a deeper cut were never going to fade.

“Stop thinking about them”

I looked at Josh through the mirror as he walked to my side

“I can’t help it” I whispered “I’ve always hid them from the world. Lucian was the first person to ever see them. Then you guys the other night. I’ve never known acceptance or love like this before. I used to hate my body so much; but after really looking at myself right now, I now understand that I love me. Scars and all. I guess with the proper lighting you really can get out of the dark”

Memories

The good

The bad

The happiness

The sadness

The chaos

The calm

The laughs

The tears

The hugs

The shoves

The love

The hate

A mystery

A discovery

Finding the courage to live

Abandoning the feeling to die

Memories that defined me

Molded me into the person I am today

Destroyed the person I could have been

fullflowerpoetry

I am in the process of trying to get my first book, "The Echoes of Belecia: F… Rebecca Rodriguez needs your support for Help Rebecca Get Th

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"It has been eons since I've felt such an intense bond for someone. Especially to have them impact my everyday life. I'm not going to force myself or my feelings onto you. I want you to come to me when you're ready. Let it be known though, I will not leave your side. I will not be pushed away or overlooked. I will be by your side in everything, from paperwork to picking out furniture for your new house. I know a precious jewel when I see one and I'll be damned, again, if I pass up an opportunity to have you. I will be your best friend for the time being. We will not give up on each other ever"

Pain

Suffering

The current story of my life

You'll say our lives are the same but that would be a lie

Your life is all glitz and glam, galas and balls, crystal and champagne

My life is dark and gloomy, cemeteries and death, mud and broken glass

And, of course, the ultimate kicker, death

At this precise moment, death would be heaven and welcomed with open arms

Love as the ability to heal the wounds that life caused.

The bad.

The ugly.

The hurtful.

It can all be healed when you're loved properly by those who know how to love.

Free my soul from the shackles of the earth and cast it into the Depths of the sea

My life long plea

The need to be set free into the ocean

Needing to be rocked to sleep by the motion

Real peace and tranquility

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