fungus @fungusfrumpus - Tumblr Blog

slimy to the moon

sometimes you trap a male false black widow under a cup in the middle of the night because he was roaming around on your ceiling looking for female spider pheromones and then his harmless dumb ass fell straight onto your bed so you had to contain him because you were tired and wanted to sleep. and sometimes that spider is no longer in that cup the next morning. as haunting as it is his determination is honestly kinda inspiring. chase your dreams little man hope you get spider laid

sabertoothwalrus

so, I hadn’t seen him since he escaped from his cup prison the other day (I did, however, find a ridiculously tiny vampire bite mark on my tummy— it did not swell or itch, like I said, he’s harmless), and I came home today to find ants swarming my bathroom. and there he was, following the trail and making a meal of em. He really got his revenge by biting me (pathetically) and then made an effort to prove his worth. I think we’re basically best friends now

batsandboba

tried to make simple syrup for the first time accidentally boiled it too long and now i have some kind of brown taffy

batsandboba

OH. yeah i made caramel

batsandboba

redid it correctly ! but there is a new problem in that i accidentally made like 3 gallons of lemonade. i didnt realize there would be so much .i should not have used all the lemons. its taking over the fridge. help

#hmmm i should make caramel #but cleaning the pot afterwards scares me

the-irreverend

Here's to hellsite solidarity!

#as a Ryland Grace enjoyer i did vote for Senshi #and as a friend of a Tenna enjoyer #im glad Tenna won #because now they get more Tenna per Tenna

worst-roommates-ever

#this is Petra to me #also Marge #and dahlia

brucemanimean-batwayne

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

willgrahamscock

if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat

willgrahamscock

sometimes it’s not about ‘would he say that or do that’ it’s more like that would be hilarious if he did because I have a jester’s heart

liebelesbe

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.