Hello Amur'ica

I'm here to listen because I understand.

[mymodernmet]

Adorable Highland Cattle Calves Are the World’s Cuddliest Little Cows

[sitcomlesbian]

DANK ASS SPACE WEED

[ammnontet]

this is why aliens aint contact us yet cause they high as fuck

[paxbby-deactivated20180604]

[pharaohs-n-queens]

[silver-tongues-blog]

We should be fine as long as we do not reblog bread.

[xikar]

Question.

I’ve rebogged bread.

[doublereversequadrupleagent-blo]

What?

[arthurkingsmen-archive-deactiva]

I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days.

[blurry-yeensman]

Where, where have you been sending it?!

[infamouslydorky]

[qh-deactivated20170215]

when one of ur mutuals becomes mutuals with another one of ur mutuals

[femboy-genius-deactivated202407]

Being up at 4-5 am is like loading in a level but the textures haven’t loaded all the way through yet.

[femboy-genius-deactivated202407]

[bigfrozensix]

“What a woman.“

[absurdist-void]

Can we please stop making scary shark movies? Sharks are pure sweet babies that don’t deserve this slander. They just have bad eyesight. Don’t be mean to them.

[ruinedchildhood]

[weloveshortvideos]

[beenwandering]

help I’m having emotions about a cartoon antidepressant trying to be useful

[pizzaassss]

Current Mood

[iaintyourstosave-deactivated202]

Pizza is not even that good tf

[pizzaassss]

[anangstyblackgirl]

Remember when Austin Powers in Goldmember made a joke about black hair and shrinkage that wasn’t offensive at all and was actually funny?

[funnyfunniehaha]

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think

[coquetrys-blog]

remember when dash drama looked like this

[brown-nena]

Nothing in this world stresses me out more than opening up the Facebook app and seeing an array of my booty pics at the top of the screen asking me if I “wish to post pictures from camera roll” like Mark why did you ever think that was a good idea? I’m gonna fuck around one day and expose my entire self to my family.