Funny Text Posts

[inch--worm]

Me: Really wants a romantic relationship

Me: Never develops strong feelings for anyone

Me: 

[stability]

you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection? I have same instinct with my take out food

[actionables]

how sexy do you even have to be, to be too sexy for your shirt

[literalizing]

Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*  

[igglooaustralia]

When you’re introverted as fuck, and your friend drags you to a party and then leaves you by yourself

[awwww-cute]

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

‘Im gonna need to see some ID sir’

[australiansanta]

hey sorry for not replying i didnt want to

[methhomework]

[owlmylove]

everyone deserves to know someone who makes them go “!!!!!!!!!!!!” inside

[think-progress]

Two graphics that explain active consent

[naprasno]

[gamespite]

This really confirms everything I’ve ever suspected about pigeons.

[d0pe-sauce]

Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you? Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

[fuckingfunny]

[labias]

[coo-chan-deactivated20160625]

[bang]

dumbass bird

[punkfobs-deactivated20170814]

It is not dumb it is making beautiful music

[goneg0-deactivated20230705]

[darkrai3-gone-deactivated202412]

when u call for ur dog n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u

reblog if u agree

[iiitsashleyyy]

IT’S SO HECKING CUTE YES

[ladyshinga]