remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

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we're not kids anymore.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@funwithtyler
remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app
Post-fall Hannigram needs to be Will running up to Hannibal snapping this photo and then sending it to Jack for no reason but to tease him.
Like just every year on the anniversary of their fall he gets a post card:
The year Will sends this Jack retires:
This is comedy gold. Hannibal by himself? Vaguely threatening recipe enclosed in a holiday card. Murder husbands together? Cute selfies Will prints on Shutterfly. He has Hannibal lick the stamps before affixing them to the cards.
Who else is getting the cards? Margot and Alana? Jimmy Price?
Chilton gets a special one every year - Hannibal personally burns the edges with a candle.
SHILOH Musings (more or less spoiler free)
So here's a Tricky Thing about Lecter* - there exists in some file the FBI has access to a record of his childhood, but it's Definitely Fake.
*[Lecter/Graham = Novelverse characters, Hannibal/Will = NBC HANNIBAL versions of the characters] In RED DRAGON, Graham says that Lecter's childhood behavior was Normal, with the only exception early sadism towards animals. Graham says this as there's no reason to doubt the validity of the claim, but it doesn't match the novel canon on two fronts:
1.) There's no indication that he's untrustworthy with animals at any other point in the canon. (Well, unless he wants to eat them - Ortolans, all bets are off, you are on your own).
2.) More importantly, if there was a written record of Lecter's childhood available, it would be a LOT more interesting that "aside from one red flag, Totally Normal." Even if whoever was making this record knew nothing more about What Happened to Lecter other than that when he was around ten years old he wandered in from the snow, sporting an unset broken arm and very close to death from starvation, and then remained mute for years after that... all of that is obviously noteworthy.
So - whatever paperwork the US government has on him, in any case, is Fake, and Lecter must have been the one to fake it. And this has implications beyond concealing trauma or whatever else his motives might have been.
(Why would he add the bit about hurting animals as a child, when if anything the canon supports the idea that he's outraged to the point of extreme violence at even the harassment of a pair of swans? Extremely Unclear. Maybe he's trolling, IDK). But here's the thing
Like
There's really nothing in RED DRAGON to indicate the Lecter ISN'T a native born American. Anything to the contrary doesn't seem to exist in his papers, no one mentions an accent, nor does he ever say anything to suggest that he's from somewhere else. Hell, occasionally he even uses terms that most people who hadn't grown up in the American south probably wouldn't use in conversation, like "doodlebug hole."
So, what does this mean, on a practical level, for a universe swap fic that tries to cleave to most of the elements of the novelverse canon?
It means that I don't think Graham has any effing clue where Lecter is even from. Whatever he's read was, at best, a partial truth.
“Spoink bounces around on its tail. The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump. As a result, this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing - if it stops, its heart will stop.”
New hannigram art on my AO3
Here is the *cropped* version, click the link in my bio or visit my AO3 for the full reveal!
Pssst, pass it on....
let's fly through the stars together
DILF SUPREME™
My favorite headcanon is that as soon as Hannibal’s temperature rises above a 98.8, he acts like a victorian boy with scarlet fever.
“will… will i make it to the spring time?”
“hannibal. it is a minor cold.”
Man who’s always giving uncanny valley vibes low temperature included and is extra sensitive to feeling cold due to trauma versus man who grew up where it’s always wretchedly muggy and was desensitized by brain melter 2000 disease flu season self-prognosis death battle
Will: pulls the thermometer out of Hannibal's mouth You have a mild fever.
Hannibal: That doesn't seem to concern you...
Will: i sAiD iT wAs miLd
Hannibal: ...
Will: But you're right, we must check for any brain damage just to be sure. Waive your arms above your head and gimme a smile. Good boy. Now draw me a clock.
@devereauxsdisease I summon thee!
Please write this. You’d make it very funny I know you would
OK I'm going to take the reverse angle on here. ONLY because we know Will likes to nurture wounded birds. So Hannibal "The Sniffles" Lecter is actually sort of in Will's wheelhouse.
In my mind, Will makes a show of how ridiculous it all is. He huffs and rolls his eyes. BUT. His ass is still climbing into bed with Hannibal to cuddle, still nosing sweetly at the back of Hannibal's ear when he shivers. Still defrosting whatever the cannibal equivalent of chicken noodle soup is and spooning it carefully into Hannibal's mouth. He talks a good game, but he's absolutely there to baby Dr. Sniffles at the first sign of a cough.
This is not Will's reckoning.
Will's reckoning comes four days later when he catches the bug from Hannibal and completely refuses to be coddled. Hannibal is forced to chase him down with cool compresses and soup only to be shrugged off or watch in horror as Will chucks some black pepper in the broth, takes half a spoonful, and goes back to work.
Hannibal has a physical reaction to every phlegmy cough, not because he's disgusted, but because WILL IS NOT LETTING HIM HELP.
"Honestly, if you'd just take the decongestant-"
"I don't need it. It'll pass."
"It would pass more quickly, if-"
"Since when do you care if it passes quickly?"
"I beg your pardon! I-"
"Don't you fluff up at me like a mad rooster. You let my brain boil for weeks." Will tilts his head. "Something I've been assured you were monitoring closely. So, Hannibal, am I more sick or less sick than when I was having hallucinations and seizures?"
"...it's only a decongestant."
"The last time I let you put something down my throat I coughed up an ear. I'll stick with the phlegm."
"The last time I put something down your throat you came six times."
"Hmmmm...guess that time wasn't as memorable to me as THE EAR. Maybe I should draw a clock?" Will does a quick sketch of a hand holding up the middle finger. "What time is it, Dr. Lecter?"
Hannibal sighs, gathering all his dignity. "Time for me to let this go."
"Bingo." Will coughs, glaring until Hannibal leaves. The second Hannibal is out of sight, Will grabs the decongestant and takes two.
"Thank you, Will."
"FUCK OFF, HANNIBAL!"
Linocut prints by William Hays. ~ Dawn ~ After the Storm, 2016.
One of the easiest ways to understand the fact that Will was always a killer-in-waiting is to look at some of the most well-known themes of the show. What does Will love most about Hannibal? The fact that Hannibal saw, understood & never judged him, no matter how deadly & dangerous he was, no matter how wicked his thoughts were.
If Will didn’t actually feel all the things that Hannibal called him out for feeling or want the things that Hannibal pointed out he wanted, then Hannibal wouldn’t have been the only person to truly understand him, since he’d have been wrong in his assessments of Will. But he wasn’t wrong, which is why it meant so much to Will that Hannibal could see all of that in him but didn’t turn away or judge him.
One of the big things that upset Will when he learned the truth about Hannibal was the fact that he was faced with one of the main reasons they understood each other so well: they were both violent, dangerous people. Hannibal understood him because he’s felt those same things & had those same urges, and he’s a vicious killer. Ergo, SO IS WILL! That’s a big part of what led to Will lashing out hard at Hannibal, but never actually hating him or wanting him dead.
Will tied his own inner monster up so tightly with Hannibal’s so that he could give his conscious mind distance from that part of himself. By lashing out at Hannibal, he could lash out at himself. It’s where the whole “needing to kill Hannibal so he doesn’t become him” foolishness originated. Since those two things were so inextricably linked in Will’s mind, he’d convinced himself he could kill it if he killed Hannibal. (Chiyoh was so real for calling him out about that, btw.)
It’s also really ironic that Hannibal’s foolish, fucked up experiments with Will in S1 to speedrun his transformation actually ended up delaying it. Will suddenly had another shield to hide behind to tell himself “It’s not me, it’s Hannibal. If I kill Hannibal, I can kill that part of myself.” Poetic irony at its finest! I could do another whole post just about this.
But back to the point at hand, if Hannibal hadn’t been correct when he called out all the violent & dangerous things he saw inside of Will, he certainly wouldn’t have considered Hannibal the only person who truly understood him. He’d have been creeped out & wouldn’t have had any trouble at all either killing him “in the name of justice” or getting him arrested.
It was very deliberate that Will’s conflict about accepting Hannibal was intertwined with his conflict about accepting himself. He couldn’t do one without the other. It would’ve been a lot easier for Will to just accept that he’d fallen in love with a murderer & didn’t want to let him go. But Hannibal’s monster is so similar to his own that he couldn’t possibly only accept Hannibal for who he was. Accepting Hannibal was the same thing as accepting himself, which is why he fought so hard against it for so long.