Blindsighted.

Onward and upward, forever and ever, amen.

[furimmerforever]

Maybe from now on every winter I miss grandma and every summer I rejoice for bae.

[furimmerforever]

I punish myself enough

Well well EQ. Got yourself in a good one this time. Give me something easy to love, will ya? I know it's too much to emulate a summer in sandals packing up for a trip, yes, that's a lot to ask. Add up what's hard though -- Animosity on the phone Commute/hours Pressure/stress Squares Three months doesn't feel that long until you remember that just about every day was a blunt force, a strong arm-the-spirt act of will.

[furimmerforever]

I like familiar faces, I like nice smiles and a whole list of people to poll on Friday night plans. I like a city with friends in it. Make the city your friend. I can hear them giving me a push forward into the love, acceptance, and companionship I want. Make it yourself. Pretty girl with the soft curl, queen of her bed, prince/ss of my heart right here sleeping on my shoulder, how can I express the roots you are for me. You're the twirling jewel of my outdoor dreams, you're the butterfly wings in the corner of my twinkling eyes, you're the first delicious bite gently fed to you. Come make a life with me, let's head for the trees, for a quiet spot with comfortable seating and a record player and a room to host our guests. Clem into the dreams I have for my life, our life. Day by day let's do this wild world our way.

[cabinporn]

Ian’s modified travel trailer cabin, Upper Ojai, California.

Contributed by Bob Muschitz.

[furimmerforever]

Love this girl, love this life, fight with this life, fight like a drowning man swallowing water fights for light at the surface, fight for yourself with the current not against the current, the hardest of the challenges (finding a responsible, healthy, beautiful, compassionate, sexy beyond reason partner) has been crossed. You've got the girl. You've got the lottery winnings in hand. Thank the starts every day. Don't let one pass by that isn't overflowing with gratitude, happiness, joy. Don't let the grind get you down -- or it will eat the life of it, suck your heart out, dry up every juicy spirited part of you. Resist this disease by deeply enjoying the small mercies and little beauties. Come around again and again to the miracle that you inhabit, wake up with wide eyes and a disbelief of how good things are, your sweet previous lover curled around your body pillow (and then you). How simple. Work together, lean against one another to stay standing straight up, come what may, enjoy each other, delight in the sparkle in her eye, count yourself lucky, be brave enough to accept the love, hold your own side up. Thank you for everything, my everything.

[adayinthelesbianlife-deactivate]

Alison and her father go into a diner one day for lunch. A woman walks in dressed much like a man and Alison’s first thoughts were… I didn’t know there were women who wore men’s clothes and had men’s haircuts. But like a traveler in a foreign country who runs into someone from home–someone they’ve never spoken to, but know by sight–I recognized her with a surge of joy. Dad recognized her too. “Is that what you want to look like?” What else could I say? “No” But the vision of the truck-driving bulldyke sustained me through the years… as perhaps it haunted my father.

- Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

[hotpeoplethread]

Julie Andrews in Victor Victoria

[the-phantom-parasol]

Remember that one time Julie Andrew dressed up as a man pretending to be a woman? 

[furimmerforever]

No matter what I am doing I am not far from who I am. The discomfort you feel, the anxiety and distrust and insecurity that shadows you, is not imaginary. It's just not relevant to most people, they don't have to deal with it, and we're not very good at acknowledging what we don't have to deal with (we would rather complain about what it is that we do!). Take care to guard your spirit. Read good books about things that excite you, listen to new music, engage with new people as if they couldn't hurt you, prove yourself wrong or right or whatever matters, flame the spark of curiosity/creativity. Disregard how small it may feel - it burns.

[furimmerforever]

You never met your great grandmother, But, child. She was you. She was me at least, and you are me, and so we are all the same. I would have been shocked to know my childhood pup and my great love, foundation stone, beginning, end, went the same calendar year.

[furimmerforever]

Every day efforts to know myself better Focus my energies better Be more authentic & joyful Stay on the way I've chosen Go through the motions (w/o being trapped) Take better care of Eq Hold my head up up up up Notice greenery, enjoy, digest Be thrilled about some small thing Sparkle just a bit When I have a hard time my go to is: Write lists of things you like, things you've liked, things you would like or will like in the present tense, things you can look forward to liking, things your partner/mom/dad/sister/friends like Write them- hand holding pen, writing A dream cannot become if unspoken. Days are long but life is short

[furimmerforever]

[furimmerforever]

This is different for me I'm having another experience entirely, though we're doing the same job, though we're about the same age, though we're both not men, I'm not here to get power or be important or make more money than I need to make. I'm here because I'm going somewhere else and this is part of the path. Stay strange, outsides Stay separate Stay you

[furimmerforever]

How much I love this life -- This lunch This patch of grass where things grow, Highway and construction noise Mulch beneath boots My cousin graduates tonight Baby cousin Brother's baby on the way I'd like a job that's likeable, with good fun people who work together hard, with a motivating pay structure... These things are here Now, flexible hours, autonomy over your schedule, jeans whenever, some travel, 401k match... You'll get there, love. You'd be glad you're here. It hurts and it's hard but on the back of each of these hours, every one of these days, you're moving forward, you're moving yourself someplace else. Promise me we'll leave? She says yes, yes we'll leave. You may be aching for elsewhere but you're still climbing the escalator, catching the train, getting off at the right stop on time. From here you'll be able to go elsewhere more easily. Ahead: Philly/Vails this weekend Dorm's wedding Memorial Day & going home to Indiana Getting to live vicariously through camp NYC visit for Laura, Mikey, Haley Hanging out with Louise DC pride early June Fresh prince house August 1 Bedroom furniture Joe Clark coming June 12 It's all ahead love. Everything you want. Keep going for it, keep going.

[furimmerforever]

I like my happy partner, She keeps herself healthy, busy, involved in the things she's passionate about, connected to her family and friends.. She spends time alone in the safe space she created. Further, she keeps her house running and takes care to add flowers, clean the surfaces, make a place beautiful. She doesn't just dream ahead, she plans for it. These things she'll really do. She laughs easily, with gusto. She's a pleasure to take anywhere, introduce anyone to, experience a new situation with, step out of your comfort zone beside. She looks smashing in my shirts. She's a good compliment to me in unexpected ways: my strong willed city driver, my sweet playful puppy, my erudite politico. This one I love, this one, this life.

[furimmerforever]

Of two hearts

Are you in one place at a time? It's feeling like I never am -- commuting to work (driving down dusty, bumpy beloved backwoods roads..) waiting for a train (making a tea for myself and another in Sarah's community kitchen) approaching the office (feeling the exact weight of the CityWILD door, how it felt to unlock it myself, the routine familiarity) sitting at my desk (inflating boats by myself in the cool dark warehouse) lifting in the lunch hour (everyone on the team laughing around me, finding relief from all the pains in our humor). This city life, I like it, especially heading into summer now that there's so much to do. L and I are planning a trip up to Philly for Dad Vails this weekend and I found myself thinking "but there's still so much going on in DC!". Good :) Don't think about "I have to live here for the next ----". Think about wanting to eat at every restaurant in the place and that's going to take some time. It's not bad here. (It's not as good as it could be -- but is that any reason to neglect the present moment?)

[thedailyshow]

Michelle Wolf discusses the end of New York’s controversial tax on tampons and the taboo surrounding periods and the word “vagina.”

[furimmerforever]

My dad and I hide away for Italian in a place he remembers us going to before, maybe even many times. "The boiler room" he calls it, this type of job that isn't permanent but is very critical. Everyone does it, goes through it, moves on from it, get There someday. He's proud of me, I can tell. Finishing but 7th week -- yes, counting -- and some of it is getting easier. I came into the beginning of the week with momentum off of a Friday monthly wrap up in the back room with a cold IPA. Still not feeling like I'm where I should be or contributing as much as I could. There are many moving pieces to this operation. And they all involve talking on the phone. Sometimes I'm proud of myself too, like the mornings when I'm on time and cruising from platform to platform like a champ. I can already hear the future giggling -- "Remember when you worked that awfully demanding sales job in DC? Ha ha ha ha ha." A half hour on crowded metro can feel like a lifetime.