@furiouscreation - Tumblr Blog

We’ve had five babies born this shift (they play a lullaby over the intercom so we’re kept apprised) and one nurse was like “we are being overrun by new virgos” with what sounded like genuine disgust. I think she was joking but I prefer to think she isn’t because that’s funnier.

yteicosanievilew

they should just put random people’s faces on money

yteicosanievilew

like when you get your picture taken at the DMV there’s a chance you’re the 5 dollar bill now

catchymemes

spotlessmy-deactivated20210523

this was a great read. “Laziness Does Not Exist” by Devon Price

headspace-hotel

new dog breed called The Unpleasantness which is created from a mix of all of the indistinct small white dogs that old ladies have. it is selectively bred for its eye goop stains

caffeinatedopossum

"Do these symptoms interfere with your daily activities?"

Bitch these symptoms ARE my daily activities wym

awed-frog

Heroes of our times: this woman who stopped shaving, plucking, moisturizing, fixing her hair and applying make-up because her douche boyfriend kept complaining she spent too much time in the bathroom and YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

[Spoiler: he learned women don’t actually ‘look like that’ and tried to force her to ‘take care of herself’ again, while she realized she was wasting so. much. time. and is now living her best hairy, unplucked, unmoisturized, unblow-dried and unlipsticked life. Truly a blessèd day.]

desolate-avocado

atypicaltyper

For once the you won’t believe what happened next line was actually correct. Kinda nice to see people willing to learn and grow.

61below

Reblog if your only reason to shave is to also feel like a dolphin

sunflowerbutch

nothing will remind you that eating is good and okay like fantasy books will. “and that night in the valley they brought out the best plum cake and sweet cream, trout and turnips roasted over the fire, mead and goatsmilk and fresh cold water from the spring-“ and it’s like yeah dude you’re absolutely right. then sometimes it’s like “as he slept that night in the woods, he sorely missed the valley, where they brought out the best plum cake-“ and it’s like man that sucks i’ll have some seconds in his honor

if98

“If it breaks your heart but opens your eyes, take that as a win.”

bilover

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

alphacrone

my favorite college memory was when one of my profs, right before graduation, sat all of us seniors in her class down and said, "do NOT drink a lot the night before graduation" and we were all like "yeah yeah no being late to the ceremony, no stupid behavior" and she goes, "NO not for any of THOSE reasons. there's a bagpipe choir. do NOT be hungover for the bagpipe choir. you won't like it."

imeverywoman420

Complaining and getting like. Recreationally mad is so valid and fun i hate it when people dont get that

macbcth

nothing frustrates me more than when adults refuse to even slightly indulge the questions and thoughts of children. i remember one time when one of my younger cousins accidentally stumbled across the concept of purchasing power parity because she realised 10 rupees which bought her 10 candies in India only bought her ~3 candies when we went on holiday to Japan, and when she asked her mother about “why the same things cost different amounts in different places” my aunt had the audacity to call her spoiled for not understanding the “”worth” of money, that’s not what she was ASKING damn it!! your daughter just set up her own big mac index and realised a key metric of macroeconomics!!! how do you not find that utterly fascinating !! why don’t adults talk to children !!

firstgrave

“i would never confess to a crime I didn’t commit” you would. “I would never plead guilty if i was innocent” you would. “I would never give up fighting” you would.

firstgrave

there is no such thing as insurmountable human will and the criminal justice system is designed to find any weak point possible. it is designed to break people. you would break in these conditions, just as so many others have. looking at those who have been in these positions and declaring yourself above them, better than them, stronger than them is nothing more than pathetically naive arrogance

fluorescentbrains

VITAL to have pals who will let you vent and say horrid petty things about people you don’t like to cope but also recognize that you don’t really mean it and none of what you’re saying is actionable information. pals who will let you be a nasty little whirling dervish of hatred in their DMs and understand this isn’t the person you’re trying to be in the rest of the world