[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[forfawkssake]

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

[jonmoxleys]

sometimes it just ends up being something like

[onlyhereforthedrama]

ITS BACK

[dontleavemydreams-deactivated20]

lord 

[uhmgilinsky]

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

[forfawkssake]

Please stop reblogging this post

[myterribletwenties]

This post made my water break

[myterribletwenties]

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

[forfawkssake]

WHAT

[whitakerforever]

God, I love this accursed website.

[myterribletwenties]

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

[insufferable-yapper]

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

[myterriblethirties]

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

[brokenteardrops]

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

[myterriblethirties]

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

[beardedmrbean]

[fuck-customers]

[pigswithwings]

the fascinating thing about being abused is that years later youre gonna be there sitting around going "okay so what now". cause like theres no instruction manual is there

[pigswithwings]

youre gonna be buying groceries and then youre gonna remember you went through all that for literally no good reason and youre gonna go Oh Okay and put paper towels in your bag or whatever

[rockergiirl]

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

[jesterattack]

I habe some bad news

[rockergiirl]

BOTH TOWERS?

[birdsareblooming]

[queer-as-city-folk]

Anti-city people are just plain fascinating to me

[dogpuppy]

[agent-mcsweetheart]

i saw a post earlier today and now i can’t find it but someone was like the only reason i get through studying is by saying “let’s go steal a grade” where they just imagine they’re doing research for a leverage con and they have to know all the information to pull it off successfully. I’m at my internship rn and i found the original score for the og show and redemption and let me tell you i have never been more productive

[agent-mcsweetheart]

@imaginable-horror you are an inspiration 😌🫡

[onyxbird]

Replace imposter syndrome with the conman method! You're a fraud, and you're such a competent fraud that the mark is never going to realize what hit them until the gloat.

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[innerchildabortionclinic]

the problem with genetically modified crops is not so much the genetic modification but the patenting of genetic codes (and crops in general) as a tool of maintaining agricultural imperialism, and for this reason I can't talk to most people about GMOs

[gokusclit]

liking a straight woman’s critique of a straight man’s misogynistic video and then taking back my like at the end when she tries to make a joke abt him being gay #lol we’re never getting out of here like we’re neverrrrrr getting out of here why are gay ppl driving the bus all of a sudden

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the thing about the You Don't Have To Hand It To The Pope situation that makes me really insane is the sheer number of people going "oh okay so now the pope is responsible for everything bad the catholic church has ever done? all of that is his fault?🙄🙄🙄" as if we're talking about some random schmuck with a rosary and not the world's #1 head catholic bitch in charge in his fancy little dipshit hat sitting on a throne made of pilfered riches and the bones of people who were killed for his god. like yeah actually that guy kind of does need to be held accountable for the past and present crimes of the organization he's in charge of actually. that's sort of what being the boss entails.

[becoolio]

Ivankov calling dragon after learning he was luffy's father

Dragon: [picking up the den den mushi] Hello?

Ivankov: Hoe the things that you've lied about

[toxiccaves]

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[villainessbian]

*screams of a witch burning at the stake*

THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO

*Gregorian chanting*

13.21

*leper bell ringing*

HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM

*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*

WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES

LITURGIES

AND MORE LITURGIES

*Templar knights praying out loud*

THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

[cannibal-rainbow]

“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

[edgar-allen-potpourri]

“hey can you go ask they what does they want for dinner, and when is they coming over to watch movies with they?”

[edrec]

“Hey, can you go ask them what they want for dinner, and when they’re coming over to watch movies?”

Step one is learning how to talk like a human person.

[anghraine]

Friendly reminder:

“I shouldn’t like to punish anyone, even if they’d done me wrong.” —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)

“A person can’t help their birth.” —William Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1848)

“But to expose the former faults of any person, without knowing what their present feelings were, seemed unjustifiable.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

“Every Fool can do as they’re bid.” —Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation (1738)

“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” —King James Bible, Matthew 18:35 (transl. 1611)

“God send every one their heart’s desire!” —William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (~1600)

“Now this king did keepe a great house, that euerie body might come and take their meat freely.” —Sir Philip Sidney, the Arcadia (1580)

“If … a psalme scape any person, or a lesson, or els yt they omyt one verse or twayne…” —William Bonde, The Pylgrimage of Perfection (1526)

“And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, / They wol come up and offre a Goddés name” —Geoffrey Chaucer, The Pardoner’s Tale (~1380)

“þan hastely hiȝed eche wiȝt on hors & on fote, / huntyng wiȝt houndes alle heie wodes, / til þei neyȝþed so neiȝh to nymphe þe soþe [Then hastily hied each person on horse and on foot / hunting with hounds all the high woods / ‘til they came so near, to tell the truth]” —William and the Werwolf (transl. ~1350-1375)

“Bath ware made sun and mon, / Aiþer wit þer ouen light [Both were made sun and moon / Either with their own light]” —Cursor Mundi (~1325)

[advanced-procrastination]

We’ve been using they/them/their pronouns to indicate a person with unspecified gender for a long ass fucking time. The only reason it’s become a big issue lately is because it can be used as a semi-respectful term for trans and non-binary folks and we can’t have that can we

These fucks are literally trying to change our language to hurt trans/nb folks, and claiming that’s just the way its always been

[polyhorde]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Singular “they” predates

Singular “you”