FuryousMice

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Tights are not pants!

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O.B. OR All other tampons?

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I hate it when people say they’re asexual, when their just not a complete nympho

[megtroid]

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NORWEGIAN

FOREST

CATS

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Polyamorotic

I don't want strangers, I want lovers. And I know you have none of your own, but that's okay because we can share

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"Words" -Hamlet

Poetic is my aim, and my ever unattainable prose in spoken conversation,

[eathons-deactivated20230818]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

This post has been featured on a 1000Notes.com blog!

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Floss

Where's my dental floss?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh here it is, inside my newspaper, right beside my elocom and protopic, which is beside my reading glasses, next to my tea and wordsearch which is hiding my dental floss...

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Are you related to Yoda? Because yodalicious!

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You are the tip to my broken pencil,

 without you life is pointless

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I Hate Mules.

They're so half-ass.

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Jokes

Comedy is a funny thing. Most people think to be a comedian you need to throw away your inhibitions, but what you really need to do is realize, no one gives a sh*t about you! So why care what they think about you?

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Sh*t My Mom Says

Mom: "Not only do you act like a boy, you act disturbed in public, even hobos stare and frown." 

Me: "Hobos are people too!"

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Tourtise

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Camellion

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