Breathing of my Heart

Love vintage books, movies and writing. Commonplace journal at tea-and-tomes

[future-fangirl]

You know what is one of the biggest signs you have been emotionally abused? Constantly fighting or pleading with your abuser to acknowledge your pain. You will tell them that they are abusing you knowing it will only bring more abuse because you are so desperate for them to tell you that they have been hurting you. But then they respond by blaming you and calling you abusive. So things are worse but you keep getting into this cycle because the pain in your heart is so real. You desperately want them to admit the pain they caused you. But they never will. And then you start to wonder if you are the abusive one. Maybe you calling them abusive is abusive?

[katebeckets]

idiots (affectionate)・[48/?] ⤷ 4.02 — “Home”

[katebeckets]

idiots (affectionate)・[46/?] ⤷ 3.06 — “2Shy”

[future-fangirl]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The X-Files Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully Additional Tags: Season of Secret Sex | Fox Mulder and Dana Scully Have Sex During Season 7, Post New Years Kiss, MSR Bingo 2026 Prompt 20 An Interrupted Moment Series: Part 3 of MSR Bingo 2026 Summary:

They were both ready to move forward, problem, the universe is destined to keep them apart.

[future-fangirl]

I tested something with dry milk powder and ugh 😩 I really am lactose intolerant. I’m okay with lactose free foods, hard cheeses and even a little sour cream but actual milk makes me feel like I’m dying.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #15,221:

I don't know what's with people and kind characters that make them hate them so much. For the ones where kindness is an important traits of characters they're defined as being weak, doormat and pushover with no values. For other who are kind but it doesn't stop them to push a fight or express anger it's simply ignored to hype them or change them into daddy dom and there's no trace of the kindness they clearly have.

I'm tired of this idea that kindness is just weakness and if you can put a fight you can't possibly be kind right after.

[katebeckets]

how to say "I love you" in x-files [495/?] ⤷ 1.12 — “Fire”

[future-fangirl]

I’m sorry but I just saw some post that Elain and Az are going to have an “affair” and break up because it’s just sex. A) they can’t have an affair because they’re both single. Elain is not bound to Lucien other than being forced into a magical/political relationship. B) why would they develop a relationship and have sex only for her to decide to get back with the person she “cheated” on. Like if you believe that she did cheat on Lucien why would you ship her with him? Also why would you assume it’s just about sex? She truly enjoys spending time with Az because he understands her and is comfortable with her. Of all SJM’s couples they’re the least lust focused. We haven’t even gotten Elain’s POV so we don’t know her views on sex. We know she’s attracted to him but we don’t know how she feels about it.

[katebeckets]

idiots (affectionate)・[45/?] ⤷ 3.04 — “Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose”

[future-fangirl]

Times like this remind me why having a white, straight, cis able bodied therapist doesn’t always work

[future-fangirl]

I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting because I’m still kind of pissed off.

[future-fangirl]

Times like this remind me why having a white, straight, cis able bodied therapist doesn’t always work

[catboykatebush]

Chronic pain is so exasperatingly frustrating to live with. It’s so hard to plan around, so hard to get anything done at all. Makes an already bad day much worse, and makes it incredibly hard to be present and nondissociated enough to enjoy the good things in life.

[antiadvil]

hey. look at me. if you think you have a low pain tolerance because things that don't seem to bother other people much (headaches, period cramps, walking a certain distance, etc) hurt you enough that you have trouble functioning or need a break or just want to curl up into a little ball and stop because it hurts too bad or it's distracting you? that's probably not you reacting more strongly to the same amount of pain. you're probably experiencing more pain than everyone else, and you shouldn't ignore that, because you deserve medical care and support

[perplexingly]

a dynamic I really enjoy in fiction is when a relationship starts with some power imbalance, then changes into something sweet and balanced, and eventually shifts into imbalance in the other direction 🤤

[future-fangirl]

Elain would rather be anywhere than in the same room as her actual mate. Like girlfriend doesn’t GAF about him at all. Meanwhile she’s blushing and smiling at Az and he’s brooding and pining.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #15,125:

"This character (A) is a much kinder person 😇 than this other really awful character (B) 😒"

"Oh, you mean the character who has had a loving family and never had any struggles in their life, compared to the child abuse victim who is suffering from trauma? Oh, yeah, such a struggle for A to be a more kind and trusting person than B has grown up to become. 🙄"

"But you do not understand, if A has had B's upbringing they would still be as kind and loving as they are now, because they are at the core a good person unlike B. 🥰"

I do not know what I find more concerning. The severe downplaying of the long-term effects of child abuse. Or the implication that abuse victims who suffer from trauma and are not this perfect teary eyed victim are somehow just born bad and not a product of the abuse they had suffered from.

[mortalfae7]

How much of the bonus chapter do you think would be included in the new books. I feel like it would have to, not the Gwyn parts but the rest right? In order for the story to make sense? Not everyone knows about the bonus chapter therefore not every knows the confirmation about elriels feelings, Rhys’s command and the possibility of the cauldron being questioned

Hi anon, even though I absolutely love the BCs, I’m still someone who thinks they don’t carry much weight when it comes to the books. That’s why they’re only BCs. Otherwise they would be in the books, right?

I think sjm will include it the same way she did for Nessian and their BC. Just one or two sentences in Elain’s or Azriel’s POV. Maybe Elain will think about their almost kiss, or Azriel will think about how Rhysand forbade him from getting close to her. The BC will definitely be brought up somehow but not that deep as some people expect it. I don’t even think that the rose necklace will have a comeback. But who knows