an independent, private & selective JAX from gooseworx’s the amazing digital circus. low activity. fumbled & bumbled helplessly by ZIM (he/it), 25. 7+ years of roleplay experience. 18+ ; MINORS DNI. uses xKit rewritten.
potential triggers may include ( but are not limited to ) : mentions of child abuse / neglect, trauma, existentialism & crises, suggestive themes, overall rude behavior & mental health. potentially triggering content will be tagged as “tw trigger”.
exploring themes of ; existential loneliness in the face of inevitable loss & doing one’s best not to give a shit. the asshole with little redeeming qualities. how our past can still affect us, even after becoming so detached from it. being a bastard for shits & giggles. flippant dismissal. fear of vulnerability. deflection as a defense mechanism. the masks we wear.
* CARRD ( rules, info, etc. ) || promo ! || meme tag. || rp wishlist.
QUICK, UGLY RULES LIST UNDER THE CUT.
1. ) this is an 18+ ONLY blog. i would prefer if those who interacted with me were actually 21+, but it is, at the bare minimum, 18+. this blog will deal with HEAVY TOPICS, such as violence, mental health issues, trauma, alcohol, abuse, and other various dark themes. NSFW may also be written on this blog.
2. ) MUN DOES NOT EQUAL MUSE. i do not condone or encourage most of jax’s behaviors.
3. ) please, be patient with me. i am an adult with a life outside of tumblr who struggles pretty severely with mental health issues, & may be sporadic with my activity. i appreciate your patience & still look forward to interacting with you all! because if i follow you, it is because i want to write with you. i will not follow just for a follow. if you follow me, i hope it is because you wish to write with me, as well.
4. ) absolutely no hate speech / bullying of any kind, and no godmodding or pressuring me for replies. a reminder every once in awhile if it has been a week or more is understandable, but please don't pester me for replies. thank you in advance!
5. ) OC'S & CROSSOVERS ARE WELCOME -- provided you have information about your OC, so i can have an idea / a bit of a starting point!
6. ) i am multi-ship ; however, jax has alluded me a tad when it comes to finding his voice with shipping, & i only do so with chemistry. if i don’t want to ship or need to explore the dynamics more, please don’t take it personally!
7. ) i am not picky with format, so long as i can read what you're writing. i tend to use small font & 75x75 icons, but if you need me to change anything at all to make it easier for you, by all means let me know! & you dont need to use icons simply for my benefit. do what feels right to you! you also do not need to necessarily match my length, so long as i have something to work with in your response.
8. ) i am not a meme source, so i prefer when people don't like / reblog memes from me directly, but i understand that it happens occasionally. i do my best to adhere to meme karma, but sometimes i forget. i am always open for getting memes and sending some other people's way, though! SIMILARLY, i also love turning ask memes into threads. if you do not want me doing so or don't wish to respond, that is entirely okay! and you can always let me know if you don't want an ask turned into a thread.
9. ) this blog is canon compliant w/ headcanon influences. my portrayal may adapt and change as more episodes / information becomes available.
10. ) have fun! if you need me to change anything or any issues arise, by all means, let me know. roleplay should be a fun and inviting space for everyone, and i want to make it as comfortable and enjoyable as i can for everyone involved!
okay, so this is pretty heavy — i am embarrassed to talk about it here ( or really anywhere ), but i can’t keep denying that it is part of why my replies, both ic & ooc, are so slow. tw for discussions of mental health below. read at ur own discretion. this is also by no means necessary to read or look at, but im wanting to be transparent & i am finally letting myself admit that i have an issue.
i have been struggling w/ an ED for about a year or so now, give or take. i am tired all the time, & anxious, & depressed. i am as safe as i can be, but it is impacting my life and has been for awhile. i have weekly to biweekly therapy sessions. i guess im saying this here to get it off of my chest & to give added context why its been so difficult to get in the headspace to write or respond to messages. the brainfog can be bad. i would not wish this on anyone.
brain is bad again i fear !!! i think im gonna watch silly shows & just try to be kind to myself. & u all better be kind to urselves too bcuz u deserve patience & gentleness. loves u all ( threateningly ).
kisses to the dash ! i’m not ignoring anyone i promise, i fear im just a zombie atm. don’t forget how fun & talented & creative u all are. i’d say ill try to do small things but yall know how i can’t shut up lol so we’ll see what i can do. love to my mutuals forever.
woke up w/ a chronic pain flare up. hoping it passes or eases before i hang out w/ some friends. was wanting to get some writing done but we’ll have to see. i’m sending the dash so many good vibes & blowing y’all kisses. ♡
just to be a little vulnerable i think the reason i can be slow to reply is bcuz i just want my portrayal to be enjoyed & for everyone to be able to really see j.ax in my writing SLDKDJSKSL
just a little heads up that i’m gonna spend some time w/ friends tomorrow on my day off, but i don’t work again until thursday so i should be around for actual writing more this week. love u all & tysm for ur patience, as always. ♡
❝ y’know, it’s really not nice to bully others. i thought you all knew that by now. picking on little ole me, when all i’ve done is be oh-so fun & entertaining. shame on you all. ❞
❝ psssht, i wasn’t — scared of the corn. that’s ridiculous. i was just surprised, s’all. it caught me off guard. i know i’m kind of perfect & all, but it was just. confusion. & you’re dumb if you thought otherwise. ❞
