Furamona [FwkZPoulet] @fwkzpoulet - Tumblr Blog

i have unfortunately failed to do a good tribute well.. even if we don't care about my art and my efforts I know she would like it and that's enough for me well.. how about we talk just a little now.

I think it's a bit of a time to talk about this. That was one of the reasons too. Since she passed away, well, I couldn't draw anymore, and the indifferent and insulting reactions really hurt me. People I thought were friends just stabbed me in a heart that was already broken. I tried to be a strong person, but I couldn't keep this to myself.I explained quite a bit in this video if you have time to watch it , I made a YouTube post too I wanted to pay tribute to her because she was truly one of the best things that happened to me in 2025. Despite the problems I faced the floods and malnutrition she was there to support me, and that helped me keep going. I won't dwell on it too much, but I remember when I had no electricity and things were really tough, thinking about her made me feel better.As for the future, I'm not really sure what to do. Things seem to be improving I no longer struggle with malnutrition, I have enough resources now, and I've been able to improve my living conditions a bit. I just hope that 2026 goes well, even if being alone will be difficult. What I do know is that I just want to protect myself now and avoid people who might mock me or someone close to me. I only want to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about me and my creations. So if your intentions are self-serving, I'd rather you not interact with me.I want to be surrounded by people who truly care about me now. What life has taught me recently has been very hard, but I've learned that taking care of your loved ones and yourself is important. I don't really care about views or having a big popular server anymore I just want a peaceful life where I can share my creations without worrying about all these problems. I'm still lost, but I'm going to follow my heart and hope that everything will be okay.

....

🌹-My partner, Odette, died by suicide.She passed away on June 2, 2025.She was an incredibly kind person.Funny.Gentle.She was always there for me, even when I wasn’t okay.She had heart problems.She spent time fighting in the hospital.And she used to tell me that my drawings helped her feel a little better.That they gave her comfort.Knowing that something I created could bring her even a small amount of light…meant everything to me.But unfortunately, the depression and the pressure she was living with became too much. And I couldn’t save her. For a long time, I kept everything to myself.I wanted to talk about it… but when I tried, some people I considered “friends” made fun of her death.So I stopped talking.I was left alone.Again.And I realized something painful:a lot of people didn’t really care about what I was feeling.---The sentence that still hurts the most is something she once told me:“I’m sorry… I couldn’t be your wife.”Those words stay with me.Since she passed away, I haven’t been able to draw the same way.It feels like something inside me shut down. The general indifference really demoralized me.It wasn’t just one thing.It was an accumulation of events. When you receive messages like“you’re trash”it doesn’t really help you move forward.Especially when it comes from people you genuinely thought cared about you.But in reality… they didn’t.Even now, I’m still lost.I don’t fully understand what I’m feeling.I don’t know how you’re supposed to handle grief.Sometimes it’s emptiness. Sometimes it’s overwhelming.I’m not going to chase people. I’m not going to get angry and fight.That won’t bring her back.I would rather be around a few sincere peoplethan surrounded by indifference. Even when my art was ignored,I didn’t want to give up. Because I know she would have loved it.Even if she can’t see it now.So I’m going to do my best.

I will keep creating.Even if almost no one is watching.

Even if I’m still lost.

Because at least one person truly believed in me.And that’s enough to keep trying.

I just hope I can do my best. 🌹

#suicide #depression #dealing with grief #love and loss #feelings #suicide prevention #mental health #loss

news

I'm going to try to get back to work and be more active again in July and August. I really hope that by the end of the year, I can find myself once more. I think I'm doing a bit better with my grief and other personal struggles.

#personal vent

latiyao

doodle

onebadnoodle

apples to apples 🍎

made a little promo image for @/josh_S26 comic FRUIT SALAD you should check it out! the whole comic is on his twitter if your looking for it

serpexnessie

Average Tomodachi Life Conversation

jadentime

they're my non binary lesbian familiar (also togore cameo)

Fura will return.

it's my birthday today

#Birthday

fwkzpoulet

i have unfortunately failed to do a good tribute well.. even if we don't care about my art and my efforts I know she would like it and that's enough for me well.. how about we talk just a little now.

I think it's a bit of a time to talk about this. That was one of the reasons too. Since she passed away, well, I couldn't draw anymore, and the indifferent and insulting reactions really hurt me. People I thought were friends just stabbed me in a heart that was already broken. I tried to be a strong person, but I couldn't keep this to myself.I explained quite a bit in this video if you have time to watch it , I made a YouTube post too I wanted to pay tribute to her because she was truly one of the best things that happened to me in 2025. Despite the problems I faced the floods and malnutrition she was there to support me, and that helped me keep going. I won't dwell on it too much, but I remember when I had no electricity and things were really tough, thinking about her made me feel better.As for the future, I'm not really sure what to do. Things seem to be improving I no longer struggle with malnutrition, I have enough resources now, and I've been able to improve my living conditions a bit. I just hope that 2026 goes well, even if being alone will be difficult. What I do know is that I just want to protect myself now and avoid people who might mock me or someone close to me. I only want to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about me and my creations. So if your intentions are self-serving, I'd rather you not interact with me.I want to be surrounded by people who truly care about me now. What life has taught me recently has been very hard, but I've learned that taking care of your loved ones and yourself is important. I don't really care about views or having a big popular server anymore I just want a peaceful life where I can share my creations without worrying about all these problems. I'm still lost, but I'm going to follow my heart and hope that everything will be okay.

....

🌹-My partner, Odette, died by suicide.She passed away on June 2, 2025.She was an incredibly kind person.Funny.Gentle.She was always there for me, even when I wasn’t okay.She had heart problems.She spent time fighting in the hospital.And she used to tell me that my drawings helped her feel a little better.That they gave her comfort.Knowing that something I created could bring her even a small amount of light…meant everything to me.But unfortunately, the depression and the pressure she was living with became too much. And I couldn’t save her. For a long time, I kept everything to myself.I wanted to talk about it… but when I tried, some people I considered “friends” made fun of her death.So I stopped talking.I was left alone.Again.And I realized something painful:a lot of people didn’t really care about what I was feeling.---The sentence that still hurts the most is something she once told me:“I’m sorry… I couldn’t be your wife.”Those words stay with me.Since she passed away, I haven’t been able to draw the same way.It feels like something inside me shut down. The general indifference really demoralized me.It wasn’t just one thing.It was an accumulation of events. When you receive messages like“you’re trash”it doesn’t really help you move forward.Especially when it comes from people you genuinely thought cared about you.But in reality… they didn’t.Even now, I’m still lost.I don’t fully understand what I’m feeling.I don’t know how you’re supposed to handle grief.Sometimes it’s emptiness. Sometimes it’s overwhelming.I’m not going to chase people. I’m not going to get angry and fight.That won’t bring her back.I would rather be around a few sincere peoplethan surrounded by indifference. Even when my art was ignored,I didn’t want to give up. Because I know she would have loved it.Even if she can’t see it now.So I’m going to do my best.

I will keep creating.Even if almost no one is watching.

Even if I’m still lost.

Because at least one person truly believed in me.And that’s enough to keep trying.

I just hope I can do my best. 🌹

fwkzpoulet

one day I will do a better tribute, I hope this year will be better but I miss you everydzy I'm feeling a bit useless

an-na-ko

Lyra, my beloved cat of 13 years, passed away this year on Father's Day. She's been by my side through very difficult times and was my little rock of steady and unrelenting love. I struggled a lot drawing this, and struggled a lot posting it, but I know I would've wanted to read a comic like this that validated my grief for her when I lost her.

Wherever you are, Lyra my little summer star, I love you always! Thank you for being the best thing in my life.

My partner committed suicide , i'm feeling so usless

This was a drawing I made to celebrate our 9 months together, but... a month later, she left us.My girlfriend passed away, and even though I’ve tried to work through my grief, I still miss her every single day. She was the only person who truly listened to me, the only one who stayed by my side. Now she’s gone, and I feel terribly, painfully alone. She died last summer, but the emptiness she left behind is still just as heavy. I have no one else, and honestly, I feel so useless... even foolish.I remember the way she spoke during those final days. She said strange things, like: 'Would you still love me if I did something stupid?' At first, I didn’t understand. I just told her I loved her with all my heart, and I said, 'We’ll see each other tomorrow anyway, right?' She didn’t answer. Instead, she just said,'I’m sorry. I tried to hold on for you, but I can’t anymore. Just know that I love you with all my heart.'It was the last message... I was confused. It was late at night, so I decided to sleep, and I had a dreamwhere she sent me a message. I asked her: 'We’ll see each other tomorrow, right?' She didn’t answer; she just smiled and walked away. When I woke up, I was in tears. Then I saw a notification—I thought for a moment she was still there... but it was from a family member confirming she was gone. That dream was a premonition...

I'm not going to repeat the same things, but she knows that I could be a great artist, and even if I don't believe in myself I'm going to do my best.... even if im not good enoughAnd now… I keep blaming myself for not understanding that it was a suicide letter. I wish I could have stopped her. I feel so powerless. My mind knows why she did it, but my heart keeps whispering: 'Why did you leave? Why did you end your life?'We were together for 9 months. She was the first person who ever truly loved me, accepted me, and understood me. Just when I found someone who made me feel seen… this is how it ended. I tried talking about her death to people I thought I could trust, but they didn’t care. Some even mocked her suicide, said cruel and disrespectful things, mixed with transphobia. Even in my worst moment, I was completely alone. I still am.Re-reading her last message( suicide letter), I realize how supportive she was when I was down. She even used to read my vent posts, quietly watching over me just to make sure I was okay. It really touches my heart.

She truly loved my art with all her heart, even when my mutuals and ‘friends’ ignored it or looked at me and my work with that distant, indifferent expression, saying things like ‘you know, it’s not bad…’ as if it barely mattered. She was excited to see the final result, but unfortunately, she never got the chance.

Time goes by, but the loneliness remains. When I shared a teaser of my animation, my moots and 'friends' met it with total indifference. They showed me they couldn't care less. But the ultimate betrayal was hearing those same people mock her passing. It shattered what was left of my heart.Even recently, people have been making fun of her death. Most reactions were just 'ok,' or questions like 'aren't you a girl?' and 'what was her gender?' It might seem innocent to them, but it deeply upsets me. Someone is dead, and that’s all they care about? I regret wasting my time with them. It shocks me because I thought that, at the very least, people would say 'my condolences,' but nobody did. I wasn't asking for much. I can’t truly express how I feel, but I miss her so much. I know she wants me to be happy; when I read her suicide letter, I can see how much she loved me, and that's the one thing that still makes me smile.After all this, I finally get it: I don't have any real friends. Many have unfollowed me, and in the end, I am alone. Even though everyone was mean, I didn't want to give up, so I finished this collection. Despite the empty reactions, I know now that no one will care except for her. That’s why I tried my best to finish it i have only been able to make a 14 minute aniamtion and many draiwngs here but i tried with all my heart and even if I was ignored, even if they mocked my feelings, and even if I felt helpless. I didn't want to give up. I know people don't care, and maybe I look pathetic, but here is one last thing I want to say. I won't annoy you anymore, as I think you've made your point clear...

My last message even If im alone now...