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“I shed every tear in my body that night. I shed more tears than God could ever ask of me. —And my empty tears still came back to me, always.”

— Arthur Rimbaud, from Selected Poems & Prose; “The Wilderness of Love,”

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“When someone gives you a rare insight into their life, do not repay that gesture by betraying their trust.”

— Dodinsky

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embarrassment has good bones

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When everything is embarrassing, that’s a sign that your passion is waking up, and it wants more. Your desire is a tender sprout that wants more water, more sunshine. It wants you to give up on SEEMING happy and in control and to start FEELING joy instead, even when it feels a little too big, even when it makes you cry, even when it forces you to question where you are and why.

Passion and desire and shame and sadness don’t signal that you have to change everything immediately, though. These are sensations that don’t require solutions. Your primary job, in the face of renewed lust for life, is to tolerate the shame of joy.

Because embarrassment is sometimes just a sign that you’ve never lived out in the open before, you’ve never cared more about a feeling than you care about how you’re coming across, you’ve never prioritized happiness over control.

This is why it’s good to take risks that might embarrass you regularly. Because every time you dare to embarrass yourself for the sake of who you are, you’re teaching your body to prioritize joy. You’re teaching yourself to let go of seeming better than the things you love. You’re showing yourself how to feel where you are — to soak in the cool fall air, to breathe in the moon, to love every lopsided moment of your glorious, flawed life.

Shame is a Side Effect of Desire, Heather Havrilesky

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I Worried, Mary Oliver

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07-05-2025

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ما قُدر الرحمن أن تحظى بهِ لو سار كل الكون ضدك فهو لك. What Allah has decreed for you, you shall attain! Even if the entire universe stands against you, it is still destined for you.