PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

blake kathryn

JVL

Discoholic đȘ©
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
i don't do bad sauce passes
đȘŒ
dirt enthusiast
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird
Three Goblin Art

PR's Tumblrdome

oozey mess
Peter Solarz

#extradirty

shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER
trying on a metaphor

Love Begins

seen from France

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seen from Indonesia
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seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from France

seen from Belgium
seen from United States
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@g-geck
New Yearâs Resolution
Iâm making it my goal to start writing 2018 on things instead of 2017 by the end of January. Instead of in May.
itâs the christmas you always dream of
oâ godzilla tree oâ godzilla tree please do not stomp on meeee
Itâs the most wonderful time of the year.
*kesha voice* thatâs what you get when you take godzilla to the mall
@lunargeckos
i drew my leopard gecko
A spy mission
long live the king
Watchinâ tv with the boop
Emergency Commissions
Hey guys I need money for college so Iâm accepting fullbody commissions like the ones below for $30!
this was originally going to be a joke about the whole âgodzilla is a metaphor for the atomic bombâ thing but it quickly got out of control
@spankzilla85
help a poor college student pls
hey guys i need like $700 by november to help pay for college tuition, i hope its okay if i can ask for help (i have proof of my pending dues or whatever its called if that makes u feel better to see to like know where ur money would be going!) my paypal is [email protected]
To battle! (via Emma_The_Ward)
When the sorcerer found the dragon, it was attacking a grape.
This was only possible because the dragon was not much larger than a grape itself, but she still had to do a double take to be sure the object it was fighting with such animosity was in fact inanimate.
She crouched so that her eyes were level with the top of the table and squinted at it. The dragon sank its tiny fangs into the grapeâs skin and gave a great tug, succeeding only in throwing it and the grape into a backwards tumble. The tiny green reptile rolled to a stop with its whole body wrapped around the grape and shook its head ferociously, managing to pull its teeth out but also launching the grape across the table. It gave a mighty roar of anger (about as loud as a human clearing their throat) and stalked after it, tail swishing dangerously.
âDo you need help?â she offered.
The dragon froze mid-prowl and whipped its head around to look at her, looking so offended she almost apologized for asking.
âI mean, I could peel it for you, if thatâs the problem.â She wasnât sure it was getting the message. One could never tell how much human language these little creatures picked up by hanging around the magic labs. Some understood only such essentials as âscat!â or âoh fuck, that sure did just explodeâ, while others could hold entire conversations â if they deigned to interact.
This one looked like it was deciding whether she was worthy. Finally, it sniffed daintily and flicked its tail, scales clacking together. âLittle monster is my prey, and you canât have it. Found it first. Will devour it!â
âOh, sure,â she agreed. âBut you know itâs a grape, right?â
This was the wrong thing to say. It glared at her and then bounded away to the other end of the table, where it slithered up to the grape and pounced on it.
Grape and dragon promptly rolled off the edge of the table.
The sorcerer quickly went around to that side, alarmed that it would be stepped on. The labs were bustling with shoppers stopping by to watch demonstrations this time of day, and a small dragon wouldnât be easily visible on the blue and green tiled floor.
âHorrible! Dirty!â The tiny dragon was screeching at the top of its lungs, holding onto its prey for dear life. It would have been hard to hear anyway, with all the noise of the labs, but with the sorcererâs diminished hearing it took several seconds to locate the screaming creature.
She scanned the pattern of the tiles for it and sighed. âOh, hold on, we mopped this morning.â She cupped her hands around it and deposited it into her skirt pocket, an indignity the dragon endured only with more screaming.
âAn outrage! Put me down!â
âShh,â she advised. Lab workers were strongly discouraged from bringing creatures into the back rooms, which was where she was heading, picking her way through the crowded front lab.
âFuck pockets!â her pocket responded.
âOh, you can curse. Wonderful.â
The dragon seemed to take this as an actual compliment. âAm multitalented. Can also compose poetry.â
âReally? Can I hear some?â
âNo. For dragon ears only.â It sounded viciously pleased to hold this over her head. The bulge in her pocket rearranged itself, and she thought it might be trying to gnaw on the grape.
She felt herself smiling even as she tried to squash her mouth into a straight line. She liked this little bad-tempered thing, even though its spiky feet were digging into her thigh.
In the much quieter kitchen of the back rooms behind the lab, she transferred the wriggling, scaly handful from her pocket to the table. The dragon hissed out a few more insults as it got up and straightened itself out, but its jaw fell open when it finally took in its surroundings. Sheâd set it down next to the fruit bowl.
âThere you go. Food mountain.â
The dragonâs shock didnât last long. Abandoning the grape, it scraped and scrabbled its way up the side of the bowl and from there onto an apple, its claws leaving tiny puncture marks as it hiked to the top of the arrangement. âFood mountain!â It repeated, its gleeful crowing much clearer and almost sing-song without having to compete with the noise of the crowd.
She watched it turn in a circle, surveying the feast. âBut⊠cannot eat it all,â it observed after a while, crestfallen. âHuman-sized. Big shame.â
âDonât you have nest-mates who can help you with it?â she asked. She had assumed not, from the way it had apparently been foraging for food on its own, but she needed to be sure sheâd found a loner.
âNo nest. No mates. No nest-mates. Youâre rude.â It flopped down ungracefully, wings spread out flat on the apple like it was trying to hug the entire much-larger fruit.
She gave it a moment to be dramatic, and then offered it the grape, minus the peel. âYou seem to have a good grasp on human-speak.â
It grabbed the grape without so much as a thank you. âYes. Have composed poetry in both Dragonese and Humanese. Not for humans to hear, though.â Bragging cheered it up a little.
âYou mentioned. I canât hear very well, anyway.â She pulled up a stool and sat down. âActually, Iâve been looking for a helper.â
âAn assistant,â it said, apparently showing off its Humanese. âAn attendant. An aid.â
She watched it bury its snout in the grape, juice dribbling down onto the apple it sat on. âYes. A hearing aid. How would you feel about having a job?â
It smiled craftily. âWould feel positively, if job comes with chocolate chips.â
âIt could,â she said, grinning. She had some friends who employed bird-sized dragons as messengers, but this was the first time sheâd heard of one negotiating its salary for itself. âIt certainly could. Whatâs your name?â
âPeep,â said Peep. âIt is self-explanatory.â
âDonât worry, I got it.â
Peep expressed its doubt that humans ever got anything, but she thought the tiny, prickly creature might be warming up to her.
Help save my little brother!
I know I havenât been that active on tumblr lately but I really need help. Iâve started a gofundme to help my mom pay an attorney so that she can gain full custody of my little brother. My father is an abusive asshole and Iâm worried that heâll end up getting custody of my brother. For more information on our situaton please read my gofundme campaign information:
https://www.gofundme.com/help-save-my-little-brother
Even if you canât donate any money every reblog helps!
listen: fight club and pulp fiction are good movies, i love them both personally, but if a guy (and you KNOW the type of guy i mean) says they are his Favorite Movies then u need to run. RUN. plan ur exist exit strategy now. if ur texting him then just make something up. âhaha i gotta go now. it was nice talking to you. bye!â if youâre somewhere with him just leave. do parkour if you have to. run like the wind. get away from that man
i have been getting messages nonstop since posting this and in response i am adding more movies: scarface, american psycho and a clockwork orange. goodbye
for animes itâs NGE, nichijou, gundam, FLCL,
Iâve been thinking about this post a lot lately.
I agree with a certain combination of favorite movies combined with a certain personality can be a red flag, and especially the American movies mentioned. But the addition of these particular anime gives me pause. I donât disagree that certain personalities combined with certain themes in media can be something to be wary of but when I look at this list I donât agree with it.
I also feel like we should take into consideration that these animated series are Japanese-produced and I think weâre putting them into a Western context. That doesnât remove the meaning weâre imparting or the issues we might have but I just wanted to make note of that context.
More below the cut.
Keep reading
there are so many legitimately terrible things about all of these posts that I donât even know where to start cutting off someone for liking [insert movie thatâs apparently problematic here] is a much bigger red flag tbh
[10-10-16] A cute bab at work. :)
i couldnât decide which colour cape i liked better so i made a Leo to go along with it! theyâre both stickers up in my shop! iâm going to keep drawing different morphs and breeds of gecko as wizards, if you have any suggestions for morph or gecko let me know!Â
havenât you always wanted a sticker of your beloved pet in a spooky costume?