woke up thinking about trans mac…
luther let him transition as a child because he wanted a son instead of a daughter anyway, so it benefits him as well as mac, but it’s all under the circumstances that it’s very hush hush and nobody finds out so that “shame” isn’t brought to their family
mac is incredibly performatively hyper-masculine because he feels the need to compensate for being born in a girl’s body
he pretends not to be gay because in his and luther’s mind, being trans is “bad enough” as it is. he was also taught to associate being gay with femininity
gets hormones/surgery with the money he makes dealing weed at high school and whilst working at the ice rink
literally has a therapist tell him he has body dysmorphia, but specifically in the sense that he worries about being too small or frail… i.e, too feminine, not masculine enough. sounds like gender dysphoria to me, pal
“button in a fur coat” = metoidioplasty or clit growth
charlie knows because he’s known charlie for the longest and as a younger kid there’s only so much he could keep secret from his best friend, but charlie forgets that mac was born female by frying his brains with glue and other inhalants
going really hard on the homophobia to compensate for being trans
we only see mac get with one other person in the whole show that lasts more than a hasty hook up… carmen. he sought her out, protested just enough to make him look like he’s weirded out by her being trans, but actually, is the whole reason he sought her out in the first place. if he can’t allow himself to be gay, then then second best option after that is to be with another trans person, somebody who will at the very least understand
the internalised transphobia ends up becoming externalised, ending their relationship. he focuses on the fact that she’s pre-op and doesn’t care to hide it that much, because he’s deep down, envious that she doesn’t hide being trans whilst he’s spent his whole life living in shame and fear that people would find out
when he does come out as gay, it takes a while to breach the topic with luther. before he comes out to him, he spends ages getting absolutely shredded, aka masculine, the most physically masculine he can possibly get himself. only then can he stand in front of his father and say that he’s gay — because he needs to make up for the associated femininity with being gay when it’s in front of him. either way, luther stands up and leaves, so mac stops holding onto the masculine front and allows himself to curl up into a woman’s lap and cry for (i think) the only time on screen
claiming to be a top so valiantly because he associates getting fucked and bottoming with “being the woman”, even if he isn’t a top deep down. he stops pretending to be a top after coming out to and losing luther (the pressure to rid himself of femininity)
also i swear to god. i swear to god he has visible scars in global warming.
