Games that I Play

Because Steam reviews should be more than "Funny line 10/10"

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Excitebike NES Review

Excitebike for the Nintendo Entertainment System was one of the first pseudo racing games for the system. It has all the thrill and jumps of motocross with good mechanics, but rather than a real race, it was more like the other motorcycle pilots are mere obstacles that hinder your time. While the game itself is good and enjoyable to play, there’s just not much here. There are two modes with five…

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Tetris 99: Big Block DLC Switch Review

Tetris 99: Big Block DLC Switch Review

Tetris 99 is an online battle royale mode that comes free with your Nintendo Online subscription, but for $10 more you can get an offline experience against the computer and an infinite “marathon” mode to better fit that Tetris experience. I felt like purchasing Big Block DLC, because for the casual fun I’ve had playing Tetris 99, Nintendo deserved the money. Plus, a future DLC for later this…

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Ivan 'Ironman' Stewart's Super Off Road NES Review

Ivan ‘Ironman’ Stewart’s Super Off Road NES Review

THE BEST OVERHEAD RACER ON THE NES

Ivan ‘Ironman’ Stewart’s Super Off Road is a name that’s too long to say, so instead, I’ll just call it Off Road. In Super Off Road, you’re behind the wheel of a truck in an overhead single screen arcade racer for up to four players. It’s as enjoyable as ice cream, with simple controls and easy gameplay, but it overstays its welcome in its near endless arcade…

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Rock 'N Racing Off Road DX Switch Review

Rock ‘N Racing Off Road DX Switch Review

LOOKS LIKE A CLASSIC

By the modern day arcade look alone, I had to have this single screen overhead racing game that is Rock ‘N Racing Off Road DX. Those looks suckered me into what is a hollow and disappointing experience. If you go in expecting something that met the lofty standards of something from 30 years ago, you’ll be just as disappointed as I was.

BARE BONES GAMEPLAY

The driving…

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Final Fantasy Android Mobile Review

Final Fantasy Android Mobile Review

A VERSION OF A REMAKE

The Android version of Final Fantasy is a port from the PlayStation Portable remake of the original classic role-playing game for the NES. This version, like the Game Boy Advance version felt far easier, more enjoyable and streamlined than the original. If you’re looking for three dimensional graphics or updated mechanics like some of the other Final Fantasy games that…

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Super Wolfenstein HD

FINALLY A FUN WOLFENSTEIN 3D

Twenty years after the release of Wolfenstein 3D comes a fantastic, free, and fan-made first person shooter that takes the basic idea and amps it up into true 3D in Super Wolfenstein HD. The game itself is short, but there are so many fresh, interesting, silly, and enjoyable mechanics here that it demands a longer experience.

A SIMPLE OBJECTIVE

The objective…

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IN GAME (Oscar and Paul) Steam PC Review

IN GAME (Oscar and Paul) Steam PC Review

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL LIKE GARBAGE

This game is such a terrible mess, that I don’t even know what to call it. The game says that it’s titled IN GAME, but Steam tells me that it’s Oscar and Paul. Since it’s a single player game, I have to assume that the developers posted their names as the game’s title. The name “In Game” is so terrible, I hesitate to call it that, so instead,…

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Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle Switch Review

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle Switch Review

MARIO WITH A GUN

I’ve never played any Rabbids games and I barely know they’ve appeared in Rayman, but they seem to be placeholders for anything that you can imagine and in this case the Rabbids have made Mario take up arms in a turn based, tactical strategy on a grid that no one saw coming. It’s colorful and appealing, unlike the majority of reality based tactical shooters out there that have…

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All Stars Racing Cup Steam PC Review

All Stars Racing Cup Steam PC Review

LOOKS LIKE A CLASSIC RACER FROM THE 80S

All Stars Racing Cup is an isometric homage to RC Pro Am, but manages to so much more lackluster than the 80s classic. The driving is dull, there’s no grand prix, it’s an uninspiring exhibition with a few closed circuit courses. It’s so basic, generic and devoid of content that it’s probably an asset flip.

DRIVING THE WRONG WAY

As mentioned before…

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Timberman Steam PC Review

Timberman Steam PC Review

SIMPLE GAMPLAY

Timberman is a game about knocking out chunks of a tree from the left or right to avoid branches. Getting bonked by a branch ends your game, after which you’ll see a game over with your score and your best score. Chopping is done with two buttons and if you’re using a controller, it’s the L or R bumpers. Tapping the triggers results in some slow chopping.

As you’re knocking…

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Timberman VS Switch Review

Timberman VS Switch Review

SIMPLE GAMEPLAY

Timberland is a simple game where you play as a lumberjack that much either stand on the left or the right of a tree as you slice through a tree trunk. Knocking out pieces of the trunk will lower the top of the tree and if you get hit by a branch, that’s game over. You tap the left or right bumpers or triggers to knock each section of trunk down. It’s about two hits per branch.…

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Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS Review

Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS Review

FOUR GAMES OF MARIO MAKING

An awkwardly long named “Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS” is the 3DS version of the side-scrolling platformer that lets players play levels or make them with a fun and easy design tool. The game lets users design levels using four of Super Mario’s greatest games: Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World and New Super Mario Bros. Four different art…

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Blaster Master NES Review

Blaster Master NES Review

A SYMBIOTIC ADVENTURE

Blaster Master is both a side-scrolling adventure that has you driving a tank and moving around on foot as a shooter with an overhead perspective. It’s also a tale of two games in both its excellence and terribleness. On one hand it has amazing presentation with its presentation and music, but on the other it has a slew of drawbacks like limited continues, poor level…

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Ghoulboy - Dark Sword of Goblin Steam PC Review

Ghoulboy – Dark Sword of Goblin Steam PC Review

A DARK RETRO THROWBACK

Ghoulboy – Dark Sword of Goblin is a side scrolling, sword slashing adventure that takes you through a dark and mysterious world full of monsters. It drips with flair, charm, and horror that would fit at home with most 80s games even if its made in modern times. It manages to nail that dark fantasy vibe with adequate gameplay, good exploration and mighty challenges when…

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Kirby's Adventure NES Review

Kirby’s Adventure NES Review

AN ALL POWERFUL, CLUMSY PROTAGONIST

A nightmare has descended into Dream Land, and I don’t mean Kirby, who can fly, swim, devour enemies, spit out stars and steal all sorts of powers in this side scrolling adventure. After having a great, but short debut on the Game Boy, the pink puffer has its own NES game. The game came late to the NES library like many games that were born on the Game Boy,…

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Gunman Clive 3DS Review

Gunman Clive 3DS Review

IN THE YEAR 18XX

Gunman Clive is perhaps the most enjoyable side scrolling shooter that took me around sixty minutes to complete on normal. It’s fun, it’s challenging and it’s full of and its nostalgia laden level themes from Donkey Kong Country mine carts to bits of level from the original Mega Man. In a lot of ways, Gunman Clive is a parody of Mega Man. The mechanics are the same and it’s…

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Dr. Mario NES Review

Dr. Mario NES Review

BUILDING A BETTER ACTION PUZZLER

Dr. Mario is an action puzzle game with the Super Mario brand slapped onto it. The goal is to eliminate three colors of viruses by making lines of four or more pills of the same color. Matching a line of the same color of four or more viruses or pills will wipe out the line including viruses. Once every virus is wiped out, the stage is clear and it’s on to the…

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