( orenda. )

yet another custom fgo master. not taken seriously at all by akari

[ganbaromasuta]

When you almost take the wrong team into battle with you.

[ganbaromasuta]

Merlin yes! Drinks it is!

[ganbaromasuta]

"if i was in a jane austen novel, i would be the one sent to the seaside for my health." [ from romeo fgo! ] // @toadmiretoweepover & unhinged comedic relief starters

A Jane Austen novel... What was... Oh!

"I think my mom reads those! Hey, hey, Romeo! Since you know them too, who do you think I would be?"

[ganbaromasuta]

"yeah, i understand women — they all want daggers and swords. it’s all quite simple, really." [ from arthur! ] // @toadmiretoweepover & unhinged comedic relief starters

"But then which one do we get Eli for her birthday? Giving her both might be a little overkill." He's so glad he asked Arthur for help, he'd've never thought of giving a girl a sword or a dagger!

[ganbaromasuta]

In this house we love and support our Grand Casters without question.

[ganbaromasuta]

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ” He’s never met his father. // @avaloniamagus & unhinged comedic relief starters

"I'll take your word for it, but I don't think you're that bad?" Sure he's flighty, scatterbrained, and does what he wants but....

"You wouldn't help me as much as you do if you were really bad."

[calliesmemes]

EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”

“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”

“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”

“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”

“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”

“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”

“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”

“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”

“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”

“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”

“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”

“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”

“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”

“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”

“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”

“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”

“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”

“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”

“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”

“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”

“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”

“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”

“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”

“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”

“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”

“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”

“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”

“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”

“   I was born for shock value. ”

“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”

“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”

“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”

“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”

“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”

“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”

“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”

“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”

“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”

“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”

“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”

“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”

“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”

“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”

“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”

“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”

“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”

“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”

“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”

“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”

“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”

“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”

“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”

“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”

“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”

“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”

“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”

“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”

“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”

“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”

“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”

“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”

“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”

“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”

“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”

“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”

“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”

“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”

“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”

“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”

“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”

“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”

“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”

“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”

“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”

“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”

“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”

“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”

“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”

“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”

“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”

“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”

“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”

“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”

“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”

“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”

“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”

[ganbaromasuta]

[everemore]

"Oh no this was all when I was alive," She laughed it off with a small wave. "I had a knack for attracting trouble sadly, I can't tell you how many times I've been kidnapped and had my life threatened."

[ganbaromasuta]

"That's terrible." Even if she didn't seem to think much about it, he as a modern person couldn't imagine. "Well... I guess with a history like that, it's no wonder you're strong enough to become a heroic spirit."

[ganbaromasuta]

                Who would've known in the blink of a moment                              the world turned upside down...

                                   indie custom f/go master | side blog to apotelesmati

[ganbaromasuta]

All those knights, and you guys couldn't keep one person from getting kidnapped or being in danger?

[ganbaromasuta]

"I'm a nice person but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people." // @avaloniamagus & tumblr text posts

"How's your aim? Do you want help?" He's not even asking why, he trusts Merlin (probably) has a good reason.

[ganbaromasuta]

“   The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. ” // @everemore & unhinged comedic relief meme

"Hold on, Miss Priestess you're gonna have to explain that one a little more." Are you ok? That doesn't sound ok. "Do I need to have a talk with someone? Because I will."

[ganbaromasuta]

[ganbaromasuta]

"Guys, where did Merlin go?" He looked away for one second in the fight and now the mage is gone.

[ganbaromasuta]

"A-Arthur... Behind you..."

[rubymemes]

𝐓𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 (a collection of prompts from text posts I saved. Feel free to adjust phrasing and gendered terms as necessary)

"I beg your fucking pardon?"

"Due to personal reasons, I'm evil now."

"Actually all of my systems are nervous."

"You used to be shy, now you're a whore."

"I'm attracted to men but at what cost?"

"My wife can stab me a little bit I don't care."

"Babygirl there is something obviously wrong with your brain."

"I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship, and this gun I found."

"Debates are stupid because why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me."

"Due to personal reasons, I will be going completely off the fucking rails."

"I'm a nice person but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people."

"Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range."

"Sorry I called you a fucking idiot, I was trying to flirt."

"I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I'm actually angrier.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my internal monologue."

"Sure I'm a little stupid, but that's like 80% of my charm!"

"Fuck therapy I'm becoming a knight."

"Hey, girl. Plagued by terrifying visions?"

"There's something deeply and fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss?"

"I may not be beautiful, but at least I know a lot of useless information."

"Conversations are a lot like teeth, you can only have so many."

"I hate when people ask me to explain my thought process. Like hell if I know."

"Well, well, well, if this isn't the feelings I've been trying to avoid."

"With all due respect, which is none."

"You call it a near-death experience, I call it a vibe check from God."

"If a demon tried to possess me I'd just be like: ok take it from here, good luck man."