Alkalo

doodles n shit «☼»

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intro post v.0.03.2 α

Hello! My name is Alkalo. it stems from the name of a candy I used to eat as a kid but saying it comes from alkali fits better. Here's my extensive self doxxing post. with added emojis for extra gentrification 🕰️my age: 22. My birthday is on october 24th. 🧪my composition: cis man built up from roughly 60% water 40% other stuff 🛋️my dwelling: somewhere in south america, not underwater 📝languages I know: spanish, english, learning japanese as a hobby, and would like to learn italian one day in the future too. ☀️my likes: I like big cats. less sized cats are good too. some other animals as well. Listening to people talk about stuff. The rain. Learning about anything regardless of practicality [teach me everything you know]. Finding weird ways to express things. Incredibly niche stuff that maybe other 3 people have watched or read. the idea of drawing and writing (not the act) Sometimes I look up facts about stars and forget them the day after 💢my dislikes: tomato in sandwich (ok in isolation but thin ice), being told i "sound like a radio host" (wtf) 🎮games that matter to me: old monster hunter, pokemon but only conceptually (though pmd changed my brain chemistry), i like the project moon games, cave story was pretty sick, i used to play ffxiv during the 5.5 shb patch but my broke ass bitch ass has no cash flow (my profit margins are looking grim) probably some other ones I'm forgetting about that I'll add later idk 🎴favorite weeb slop: blood blockade battlefield but I still gotta get to reading the manga, violet evergarden if you wholly ignore the existence of that second movie. playing mahjong soul and pretending like I know what yaku im going for. currently consuming tokusatsu shows at an abysmally glacial pace 🎰my vices: coffee and rumination. Daydreaming. Isolation. looking to add more evil deeds here. 💡stuff I want to get into: actually watching movies, reading more horror stuff, talking to living beings (humanity optional) learning what my taste in music is instead of pointing to vastly different specific tracks, music in general, maybe math and chemistry. ideally learning how to work out instead of just thinking about it. insanely niche japanese only showa era bullshit that has 0 subtitles so I have to rawdog the goddamn impromptu listening exam WHY

🐅What you will find in this blog: personal real life bullshit, "pixel" "art" made with a mouse. unhinged soliloquies. occasional japanese learning updates. generally whatever I feel like posting. 3 months wait between each post. spelling mistakes

this one's more of a personal blog btw, you might prefer looking at my interests based one for posts about hobbies and games and whatever the hell instead, here

🦁other info about myself: One time I managed to severely sprain my ankle going down some slide at a friend's younger sibling's birthday party and to this day I hope that despite crying about it in the moment I managed to traumatize those children. I am a person who struggles every day with easy stuff but each one I'm getting just the slightest bit better. My favorite color is something like a dark teal but this shit is impossible to accurately name so just imagine like tasty humid moss in a forest clearing beneath the full moon. blue is cool too. i have like a 120something words per minute typing speed which I BELIEVE some of the youth might call "poggies"

this is what i decided i look like now

(this isnt technically meant to be a fursona but like. look at it. what the fuck else would it be. manticores DO NOT stand up on 2 legs be for real man)

if you know me from somewhere else under a different username it would be more fun to pretend we're meeting each other for the first time again

also i dont know why you are here I made this blog to write about stuff so that I can remind myself i am a human being who is currently alive. There's mostly very personal ramblings down there with the occasional oc post. well i guess they're not exactly ocs they're more like. the. imaginary personification of the ways I affront life??? (???) in big cat shape. well not all but mostly in big cat shape. no clue how you're here but congrats

regardless viewer discretion is advised as a minimum precaution. please sign here to absolve me of any liability that may arise from witnessing this blog _______________

cool thanks good luck below there's cringe

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rethinking every singular life choice of mine over world's most minimal mistake today pretty normal tuesday afternoon

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Was checking what I had written in my drafts tab, here's this one from May 23rd from last year I found that I liked: On some days, I lie on my bed looking at my phone with a little crack on the left side of the screen and worn down case, scrolling through short form videos I don't really want to watch, and decide I want to do something else.

Sometimes it's writing, for small stories aimed only at myself. Others it's drawing, with clumsy lines about things I hold close to my heart. Maybe I'll learn something new on my computer, or I'll go water the flowers in the garden.

On some days, I do all these things and resent I don't actually feel like I enjoy them to the extent that I should. It isn't working out. The strings of words are frayed at the ends beyond repair, I can't make use of them. The lines look all wrong, and it doesn't nearly do justice to what I'm trying to depict. A flower wilted some more, and I realize maybe the reason why was that I overwatered or underwatered it.

On rare occasion I lie on the floor with its cold ceramic tiles now that it's autumn, and I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes. Or maybe at the clouds out my window with those steel bars that cover it that remind me of a prison cell in a funny way, though most homes here have them. It gets a chuckle out of me that I can pretend to live in the confinement of jail when I can just as easily walk out the door and go for a walk.

I'll listen to music. Clean up my room a bit. Sit despairing about getting started on some university project I don't feel like doing that's incredibly important. Sometimes learn some japanese words for the day, others doing the bare minimum. Get angry at some opinion I disagree with from a person I have never nor will ever talk alongside of. The sun will go down and the other eight billion creatures of my kind go about their day. I might struggle to sleep like I should, or do the exercise that's recommended for a man my age. I'll mess up some social interaction here and there and have that follow me for weeks until I forget. I'll look forward to the release of a new game or discover something cool I never knew existed.

Go outside and walk in a weird manner that's characteristic of me, find something stupid like the shape of a pebble on the road as I head over to do an exam amusing, remember some childhood fear I had and hold some sympathy for a me that changed into something else. Think about the contradiction of just how boring and just how chaotic my life is. Just doing stuff is so fun, even if I just waste the day away talking to no one and looking at useless internet forums that are irrelevant to me, or pick up something new to try my hand at, or sit down and study for hours on end after complaining to myself for the last few weeks that I just did not have time (which I did).

I like remembering that I am alive, for it is very comforting. It doesn't always feel that way in the day to day moment, but I hope I get to waste many, many days.

Me from the present now, I think it's a fun idea to have. Had to replace my phone in the end, but I think the shitty parts have some appeal on rare occasion.

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drinking water from a ceramic cup feels more powerful than from a glass

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complete nightmare day today, you never realize how little you can truly affect your brain's willpower until you're faced with trying to stop thinking about "stroganoff my beef" in the middle of a university lecture for 2 whole hours

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Give me your eyes.

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theres this class this year in my university where the professor thougt they'd get a little quirky with it all in good fun all just a little jest a little gaff as one does and split up like... the class's assistance scores (??) into hogwart houses by randomly splitting everyone down the houses.

I don't... idont get the obsession with harry potter seriously why do I find it everywhere what's the deal with it. I can respect trying to make it feel a bit more fun despite technically being at a stage where I should start to be treated as a grown ass man theoretically soon to have a degree but like... what.

they gave me the one with the lion which doesn't fit according to my cursory britain lore knowledge but it's the lion one so im winning. i shouldnt be this easily swayed but they gave me the lion one and it's essentially just harmless quirk chungus behavior so i cant really talk that much shit??

why harry potter. it's so odd. like there's no real correlation to what im studying anyways im not doing fucking magic blasts over my textbooks here. my university is problematic media now fuuckk... I don't care that much about it im just confused. dazzled one might go so far as to call it. is it en vogue now did they put that british kid on another magical wizardry adventure as of late.

so very strange.

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beards a bit long today. wonder if i could pull off the true jungle survivor look one of these days, it should take maybe a full year of not shaving i think. might be 2-3. oh but then I'd look like I own some sort of artisanal burger joint, hmmm

if i leave it for long enough could I feasibly cut it up and make it into some kind of textile I wonder like as if I were some manner of sheep or maybe perhaps lamb or goat

i guess the actual hair fiber would be too brittle though or at least too bristly I don't think this kind of hair is fluffy enough to make for like a blanket or something. sounds gross. actual scalp hair -NO im NOT a serial killer this is an IMPORTANT thought experiment GET IT RIGHT- does feel kind of smooth though I wonder what it'd be like to have a wig made out of my hair actually. ah but im not ready to go bald. I'm sure there has been people out there who have used their own hair in like shitty paintbrushes or something throughout history.

how flammable is beard hair I bet it could probably be used in some really obtuse survival scenario some guy who's really into hunting knives would make up

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NEED to get some fuckass trumpets or maybe harmonicas to blare out my own personal leitmotif one day in the middle of the post-chorus to my main theme it has to happen and it has to feel triumphant and cool and badass but also with like a certain hopeful hint to it that leads to believe this is some sort of experiential pinnacle reached

yes this would fix me

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asd

oagggg ouggfgfgg

aeiou

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Item: The Comedy Mask Rarity: ✷ Epic

What video game has most made you laugh?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

oh is this how inbox questions work that's a fun one for april fools my EPIC RARITY ANSWER is probably... I guess discounting things I used to play with friends a hat in time had a really jovial sense of humor, I enjoyed it a lot. weird scottish owl bird thing my beloved

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GRAHHHH I HATE YOU UNIVERSITY TEXTBOOKS I HATE YOU!!!!! i'll run out of kidneys to sell one of these days and when that happens i'll just start hallucinating the course material because that'll be equally as useful honestly

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finally actually decided to change my old nickname and profile pic from some other sites I still used with people I talk to every once in a blue moon to the current one with the lil manticore guy. Well, mostly. I kept a little bit from the old one too with the new image.

It's always fun to think of things as divided and sectioned off into little eras, I feel. There was that time where I was something, which then grew into something different, and is now at the current stage. I'll almost assuredly become something new in the future too, but right now it's the manticore guy.

Bit bittersweet to say goodbye to the last one, I grew up through almost my entire teenage years with it, molded by different patches granted to me by people I came across with. It felt a bit like a gift I treasured, the little creature I came to be associated with, the old moniker too. Most I don't speak with all too often, one in particular which had a key role in that presentation turned out to be not the greatest too haha but it was teen years, those are a struggle for all. No one escapes it. Reckon they're very valued by everyone because they're a formative part of your life, of course, but I'd much rather worry about the years I'll be setting up for myself now.

sometimes I get worried about the way I present myself to those who know me. Everyone knows that a sort of expectation builds itself with time, what kind of figure you occupy as a person solidifies a bit with those closest to you. I think I used to resist those changes a bit when people adopted them too in the past. It'd be boring if I just stayed the same forever though, so I'll try to die a thousand more times.

I feel like I should be somewhat better at doing blind steps to direct my life by now, one would figure that 2 decades in you'd have some experience with the concept, but I suppose it's not a thing you ever get fully used to.

ah well in the end those fuckers I rarely talk to from time to time gotta know that I am no longer light blue but rather dark teal now such is life. sucks to be them

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Had the opportunity to accompany a childhood friend to their graduation "ceremony" (ceremony is a huge overstatement, but a lot of friends and her parents showed up as well) and it was pretty nice.

Maybe, if I had to pick, seeing the accomplishments of others is probably one of my favorite things in this life. What a nice thing it is to be fortunate enough to see someone grow past rough circumstances and develop their skills, I hope success follows her for a long while, honestly.

It's been a real long time since I managed to just have something that I could just so simply celebrate. I gotta look into having more opportunities to be forthcoming about such a thing, it's a nice sentiment and I'm sure I'll carry the memory as a really happy one. got me outta the house too haha sun's kind of a bastard with how potent it's been lately, but even mildly drenched in sweat experiences much like this one are things to treasure.

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I bet me and some guy from like ancient mesopotamia would've become best friends if the circumstances allowed for it. I wouldve been huge for the renaissance era too. They would've loved me but alas... born too early, how tragic.

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man posting in social media is so weird, especially considering I have practically never used it for anything but lurk, realistically, throughout my life.

I've always seen people use it and post so much information about themselves on, say, instagram or something, and then go off from that to share it with people they meet in real life as a sort of pseudo portfolio about them. like "yooo look at me, I go to the beach and fish and party with my friends" and all. you should stalk my socials to read on if we're compatible as friends lmaooo But it's not fully like that either.

Sometimes I wonder if the way I view it also increasingly transactional too. This site for example, I think I convinced myself at one point to think about the silly images I made or whatever comment I wrote as "presents" I'm putting out there. Maybe I drew someone's blorbo they're obsessed with and they've got a way lower threshhold of quality for enjoyment, so I guess it should be tagged...? Would it be fine to tag stuff if I don't make that kind of content my main draw...??? Is it fine to follow people I think seem cool if they can come see my profile and then look at all the weird shit I post......????? -> (is enjoyment of something someone made inherently worthy enough of making my presence known) Always so worried over silly stuff lmao

"NOOOO I GOT TOO PHILOSOPHICAL POSTING ABOUT MY THOUGHTS ON LIFE INSTEAD OF BEING NON CHALANT AND FUNNY FUCKKK ITS OVER!!!! NOOOO I DIDN'T AMASS ENOUGH INTERESTS AND INVEST MYSELF DEEPLY ENOUGH IN THEM TO COME ACROSS AS AN INTERESTING PERSON SHITTT IM FINISHED!!! NOOOO I WORDED SOMETHING SUCCINCTLY INSTEAD OF OVEREXPLAINING FOR 100 PARAGRAPHS TO A POINT WHERE I COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE MISCONSTRUED BY SOMEONE READING IN BAD FAITH MY DOWNFALL IS IMMINENT AND MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING!!!" brother lmao...

It's probably to do a lot more with my alignment of goals? The idea of making new friends sounds nice, at the same time that it's always a bit rough. But I should probably dissuade myself from relying on online spaces to meet people, I wouldn't be able to make a life for myself if all I do is talk with others halfway accross the world. Well, it'd still be nice, but I suppose it'd be different? Not mutually exclusive, at least, that could be the mindset I should have.

It's always the same circular thought on trying to figure out what I could offer to others before talking to them, which in all likelihood is one of my worst habits. It's not like people have a little calculator they're constantly beeping all my actions into to figure out whether to obliterate me in the blink of an eye. At least I don't believe I'm being held on trial by anubis to see if I'm pure of heart every time I press "post"

Doesn't help that the internet as a whole has changed so much throughout the years either. So many rules came and went and changed in any whichever direction. And couple onto that the fact that every fantasy digital place has it's own particular subset of culture + etiquette and ouaggg

I should just use it in whatever way I fancy at a whim's notice probably. Not the most "social" use of social media but it seems to me like one of the least bad. Ah but then I run into the problem of not knowing what to post about and trying to gauge how interesting something would be and the point in doing so in the first place, dang.

I kinda like to visualize social media as if it were just real life but imagined. Like everyone's profile is their little house or a corkboard planted right beside the main entrance with drawings or pieces of writing pinned onto it, sometimes printing something else they found off of someone and plopping it on. But I also keep thinking back to the way I hear others use it and I think about how if this were some sort of friendship resume I would be highly fucked up. "yes hello I have -5 years of experience and no social certification please give me one billion dollar an hour :)" Maybe I'm just making it out to be too much of a job. But networking, loathe that word as I may, is kind of an important part of adult life too, isn't it? shit's complicated for real

oh well. maybe one day i'll just randomly crash into someone's metaphorical digital roof like some offshoot meteor and cost them thousands in repairs. though I'd have to get over how impolite that would be, hm...

Thinking about people holistically as only the appearance they make visible could be a problem. Applying that point of view to myself, too, for different reasons.

eh I'll figure it out later idfk