This garden is like hell and I am the devil

Leader of the cockroach mafia, the best gnome ever, also the best gnome ever

[seabeck]

Sideshow bob

[garden-knome]

"Dream home" for the weak

Live under a mushroom and have a heated enemies to lovers relationship with a cockroach like a real man

[garden-knome]

My cockroach army and mafia have finally gotten enough influence to have one of them run for gnome president. I can finally puppet my roaches to have them puppet every other gnome freely

[pukicho]

I have animalized you. Now, roam free:

[garden-knome]

Get the fuck out of my front yard

[orthoscheme]

there are more weird small brown mammals than you could ever ever imagine

[orthoscheme]

You dont know this one

[garden-knome]

Its a Weird rabite

[capnsoapy]

What are your thoughts on Gnomes?

Gnomes are arguably the biggest staple of modern fantasy which doesn't predominantly draw its inspiration from Tolkien's legendarium. And also they're not good.

[garden-knome]

I think gnomes are good and I speak for everyone at all times forever

[garden-gno-thanks]

Any response to the allegations of you and the lost princess both sleeping with the same toad 👀

No RESPONSE

I would NEVER break up that poor toad's family

[garden-knome]

Context: he did

[garden-gno-thanks]

well don't TELL EVERYONE

[tadoriaselan]

Gnome News: Local gnome tears apart toad family

[garden-gno-thanks]

WHAT THE SHIT I'M ON THE NEWS?!?

DOES THE 16TH GNOME LAW OF PRIVACY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU FUCKING ROACHES?!??

[garden-knome]

THERES 16 NOW‽‽‽‽

[garden-knome]

Feels like Fnag 2 (five nights at gneddys 2) hiding from these damn Hawks. THEY JUST KEEP COMING WHAT IS THIS MATING SEASON

[garden-knome]

Just found the most sinister evil disgusting mushroom I've ever laid my eyes on, im thinking of taking a big bite, it could be like how someone saw the first cheese as disgusting but still ate it

[garden-knome]

Immediately I am getting the sensation of death on my tongue with the aftertaste of recovery and perseverance through life. I also think I am ascending to godhood. Either that or im being carried by that damn hawk again

[garden-gno-thanks]

Any response to the allegations of you and the lost princess both sleeping with the same toad 👀

No RESPONSE

I would NEVER break up that poor toad's family

[garden-knome]

Context: he did

[garden-gno-thanks]

well don't TELL EVERYONE

[garden-knome]

Context: everyone already knows just give it up

[garden-knome]

Just found the most sinister evil disgusting mushroom I've ever laid my eyes on, im thinking of taking a big bite, it could be like how someone saw the first cheese as disgusting but still ate it

[garden-gno-thanks]

Any response to the allegations of you and the lost princess both sleeping with the same toad 👀

No RESPONSE

I would NEVER break up that poor toad's family

[garden-knome]

Context: he did

[garden-gno-thanks]

The necromancer has been poking around lately, I need to rustle up a Gnossie (Gnome Group of people with gnome torches and Gnitchforks (Gnome Pitchforks)) to kick his fucking ass

[garden-knome]

Let's beat him to the fucking ground

[garden-knome]

I believe i have finally found out about the art of trickery

Keep reading

[garden-knome]

I am so fucking stupid I just tricked MYSELF while ACTIVELY knowing what the trick was.

[garden-knome]

1 like = 1 berry grown in the berry harvest

[is-this-fascism]

if i was a gnome, perhaps even the prince of the gnomes, would i ride a squirrel or a rabbit? maybe i'd tame one of those feathered dragons and travel through the skies.

[garden-knome]

If you were a gnome you would be crushed by the dragon, or torn to shreds by a squirrel, and NEVER even LOOK at a rabbit. Also you would probably die to my cockroach mafia if you ever walked in the alley ways

[garden-knome]

I believe i have finally found out about the art of trickery

Keep reading

[lilyfroufrou]

Illustrations of hares and gnomes from the book "Gnomes” (1976) written by Will Huygen, illustrations by Rien Poortvliet.

[garden-knome]

Some gnomes have rabbits, some have squirrels, only i have cockroaches, and im pretty sure at least one near here has rabies