garden of secrets

[gardenoffsecrets]

I’m holding on barely

[gardenoffsecrets]

I’m trying to forget you but I’m also waiting for you to come back

[gardenoffsecrets]

did you ever just cancel your plans because you are too fat

[gardenoffsecrets]

I’m so tired of being tired

[gardenoffsecrets]

It’s a different kind of pain when you’re the one who ruined it

[gardenoffsecrets]

we drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick

[gardenoffsecrets]

the disgusting feeling you have after telling yourself that you’ll stop eating but then start binge eating.. again..

[gardenoffsecrets]

anxiety fucking sucks. you unintentionally make yourself sad, you feel alone even when you’re not and sometimes you don’t even know what’s wrong

[gardenoffsecrets]

sleep isn’t sleep anymore, it’s an escape

[gardenoffsecrets]

“She loved reading. It allowed her to cry over someone’s sadness when she could no longer identify her own.”

[gardenoffsecrets]

Do you believe you have to destroy yourself to become what someone else loves?

[gardenoffsecrets]

I suppose I love my scars

because

they have stayed with me longer than most people have

[gardenoffsecrets]

people don’t understand how long words can stay stuck in someone’s mind

[gardenoffsecrets]

skip dinner, wake up thinner

[gardenoffsecrets]

pretending to be happy so I dont hurt the people I love is really hard. I’m tired.

[gardenoffsecrets]

I shut down. I just shut down. No matter how hard I try not to, no matter how bad I know I need help, I shut down and that’s my biggest problem. I shut down when I need someone the most, right when they get close, I distance myself and I hate it. I hate that. It’s hard having trust issues, it’s hard opening up to someone new knowing they’re going to eventually leave. I enter everything, knowing in the back of my mind that I’ll always be alone, I’ll always feel that sense of emptiness and loneliness no matter how many people I have around me. So I’ll always shut down when someone gets close and I don’t think I’ll ever control that. There is no one in this world who has ever really known me fully, they know bits and pieces, but I’ll never open up entirely.

[gardenoffsecrets]

you haven’t felt pain until you get that stomach drop feeling when you hear something you wish you didn’t hear