This headcannon is half-baked because I'm not confident I actually understand all elements involved. However this is my blog I use to get thoughts out of my head. And this one has been bouncing around like a screensaver logo that just won't hit the damn corner.
HC that Simon from Iron Lung has OCD. He's had it since he was little but it has gone wholly unchecked. Upon the onset of the quiet rapture, Simon's violent intrusive thoughts were seen as a virtue by Eden. A sign that he could do what needed to be done. So Eden fostered this violence. Told Simon that it was righteous. That he was saving all life by taking from the few.
And then the tree died. The violence wasn't enough. It never was but now the evidence was undeniable. Simon started to realize that it was all his fault. (Maybe his intrusive thoughts began to shift in a very self flagellating way. Every breath he took was evil and wrong. Maybe it was that that allowed him to actually develop a conscience beyond the fear driven beliefs he had become.) In the worst moment possible, Simon the Butcher lost his nerve.
... you know the rest.
(Or: I like the idea of a Simon who genuinely struggles with his bloodlust, and the poetic justice of submurging him in blood untill he is queasy at just the thought.)
