Thank you, Sherlock
I am so endlessly grateful that I have Sherlock in my life. Especially right now… The anticipation for S4 is literally going to help me survive Christmas… that and the knowledge that I don’t plan on being part of my ‘family’ by next year… (which also hurts to know it’s a step I need to take). When I became a fan back in January 2014 I had tried to leave my family and I was doing a lot of crying. On top of things my chronic back pains had really gotten bad and yeah. Life pretty much sucked. My ex idiot extorted my loneliness and pain too… and I don’t even want to think about the mess I was. But this show I had purposely avoided (for fear of becoming obsessed. hah) was on. I had nothing better to do and I needed a distraction before I lost my mind… so I watched TEH. I enjoyed it so much that I watched the rerun, found it on an app and watched it again. And again… I ordered the previous series on DVD and I watched them back to back over and over again… I was refusing to go to the doctor about my back because I didn’t want pills; despite being in so much pain I was lying curled up on my bed crying my eyes out… but I found 3 things that helped. Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and Sherlock. Eventually I did go to the doctor though… and am still on heavy doses of pain relief that barely helps… but Sherlock especially still helps me forget it. Having severe PTSD makes going outside pretty difficult. But one thing that helps me is donning my femSherlock cosplay and pretend I’m someone else… it’s not perfect; but it helps. I even managed to travel to London all on my own (to see Benedict in Hamlet) and I visited North Gower Street to pay my respects. I even managed to get through the cue at Baker Street during the high season… when I sometimes barely can handle going to buy groceries… I’m still a mess… but I’m working on it… I even feel like I got even closer with my best friend who I got almost as obsessed as I am. I know it’s such a cliche but I have no idea where I’d be if I hadn’t watched Sherlock
