It was supposed to be a casual mission. A simple grab-and-go, like they did all the time. And no one except the ones who were with her should have known about it. She knew it was reckless but then again, that was often how people would describe her. But the reason behind her going into this mission was just spite. If she hadn’t had an argument with Gavin, none of that would have happened. But could she really blame him? She winced and pressed the hand already holding her side harder on her wound. How in hell was she supposed to know that someone else already had their eye on this car and that they would not hesitate and attack anyone on their paths. She whimpered as Fraiser tried to move forward as slowly as he could as he was supporting her on the other side. Tears were pricking her eyes but she couldn’t even blinked them back. She didn’t have the strength too. She knew that she would recover from her injury if they got to safety soon but the fear twisting knots in her stomach were the most painful. She felt heavier than she’d ever had and for the first time, her small bump felt out of place. Something was wrong, she could feel it in her bones and she hated herself, knowing she caused all this.
Finally they managed to reach Nikki waiting for them in the car and he swore when he saw her, immediately rushing to help them. Fraiser stayed by her side during the car ride, attempting to press her wound so she wouldn’t lose too much blood. Aviya was sobbing openly now and even though Fraiser was trying to comfort her as best he could, it was as if she couldn’t even hear him. Finally, they arrived at the Whirly’s park, as it was closer than the garage and went to get Sylvia, one of the newest members who fortunately trained as a nurse. By the time, they got her into bed, she was sweating heavily, in so much pain that she knew she would just pass out in any moment now. “Go…get…Gavin…” she managed to utter in between labored breaths. She let out another cry when she felt another painful pang in her gut, reminder that she failed at her own personal duty. The tears wouldn’t stop and she was too exhausted by the pain and fear to stop them. She was whimpering non sense now, begging her friend to tell her what came out of it. Sylvia was focusing on stopping the blood loss from the stabbing but Aviya could still feel warm blood flowing out. She could feel herself slip away but she was struggling. She needed to know. Right before her eyes closed, she noticed the panic in Sylvia’s eyes as she ordered the others around to get some towels.
A throbbing pain in her stomach woke her up. She winced and groaned as she tried to move. She was in one of the beds of the makeshift med bay. It was daylight outside as she struggled to keep her eyes open once she did. She blinked a few times, taking in her surroundings and then her gaze fell on him. She prayed for him to be asleep but it seemed like her luck had definitely run out since last night. He heard her shift on her bed but didn’t look up from his hands resting on his lap. He wouldn’t. She would have to speak before he even try to look at her. She let out a stuttered sigh and took a few deep breaths, trying her best to quell the anxiety in the pit of her stomach. As she did so, her hand went to rest unintentionally on her stomach, right above the spot where she got stabbed, in a gesture of habit. Gavin’s eyes followed her hand and he finally met her eyes. He had never looked at her that way before, his eyes full of an emotion she’d never thought would be directed at her. Hatred. She inhaled sharply but didn’t break his gaze. She knew he was waiting for her to speak but she couldn’t. She didn’t even know what to say. So she reached out for him with her free hand, her eyes begging him to take it. He shook his head at her gesture, tight lipped and eyes glazing with tears. Only then did she manage to find her voice and murmured a weak apology.
“You’re sorry… You’re sorry?” His eyes were so reproachful that she couldn’t bear it any longer and she lowered her gaze to her stomach, tears dripping down her face as the sobs took over her body. She didn’t know what else to say so she kept on her litany of “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”, in between choked sobs, directed both at him and at her baby who would never live to see the light of day because she’d been too selfish to listen to him. Sure, he had been harsh on her during their argument, bringing back her deepest insecurities and she knew she only wanted to prove him wrong but the cost she, they had to pay was too much. Her body was shaking with sobs now and she could feel the pain of her fresh wound acutely as the pain meds’ effects were fading out. But she deserved the pain after what she’d done.
He started to speak then and she raised her head to look at him again.
“You know…” His voice was rough with pain and he choked while uttering the next words “I saw her.” Tears were streaming down his face and she ached to wipe them away but she had no right to do that. Not anymore.
“She was ours, Aviya. And you killed her.” His last words made her choke on her own tears and she shook her head vigorously, denying the truth. “No… I didn’t- I didn’t know… I thought- I thought it’d be safe- please Gavin, I swear-“
“But I guess that just makes sense… I always felt like you didn’t want her in the first place anyway.”
Her sobs increased and she buried her face in her hands, still shaking her head no fiercely as if that would convince him that was the contrary of what she’d wanted. They would have made a great family. Rough around the edges, surviving and still learning but still, they could have been happy. But she had ruined everything.