Observations from The World’s No. One Environmentally-Friendly Drag Lady: BINGO’S BACK It’s been a while friends, but let’s get down to it. People are going out and the (BIG) BiNGO SHOW IS back last Thursday of the month at the Chelsea Theatre. Come bask in the ridiculous and confounding absurdities of the everyday by playing Bingo, with added louche cocktail hospitality, a sprinkle of spontaneous dance routines, cabaret banter and terrible sing-a-longs. If there’s one thing Lockdown taught me, is that when people aren’t racing everywhere it’s quiet and you can get things done- the garden was never tidier, the house cleaner, the food more locally sourced, the bread made every other day. Walks to the lake with Mr Timberlina and a flask of heady ready made home foraged cocktails. It was heaven. Now- things are open again, we’re moving about and even I am accepting that this prologued fleeting misanthropic paradise has drawn to a close. I am so grateful for how fortunate I was during lockdown, that I pre-empted the whole affair by manifesting the perfect country idyl because I knew something was going to happen. Coincidence? Who can say, but I resolve to give myself some credit. And now I must advance to what looks to me like a new phase of even more incredulously absurd, rampantly self-obsession, of neo-liberal consumer capitalism, coupled with unadulterated, unnecessary consumption and of course, unadulterated FUN. To manage my ridiculous state of constant eco-anxiety and the state we are in, I have adopted Permaculture as a guide for life. With Permaculture we spend a lot of time observing our surroundings in order to inform us how best to proceed. And so, fo the first time since lockdown Permaculture hinted that I go to my local independent Pound Shop and buy a bunch of prizes for my bingo nights which are sporadically happening again. What Permaculture taught me is that they’re not just prizes, they are plastic Jesus crosses that GLOW in the dark and therefore, like Jesus, shall remain eternal and light up darkness because- that’s right, these crucifixes ACTUALLY GLOW IN THE DARK! Every week, for the best part of over a decade I’ve taken the ritual stroll my the local £1 Mecca to drown my sorrows and reconcile the puchase of these divine, SENSATIONAL, cheap plastic prizes. It always concerned me. But now, due to my observing the world, Permaculture has shown me just how f***ed we absolutely are and one of the best ways to escape how bad it is playing BINGO. I love the the paradox of being the world’s number one environmentally friendly drag lady who endures the hypocrisy of purchasing these bloody plastic things that people love. Because LOVE is the important thing. And since the local knitting group can’t work hard enough I am forced to rely on cheap plastic imports, objects that in the scheme of things are minuscule, but bring so much joy to people’s hearts, yet will unavoidably play a tiny part in the wilful destruction of mama-nature’s delicate ecosystem. As individuals we live in a perpetually perplexing system we did not create. We are therefore not responsible for it. But we are responsible for our actions and behaviour. We can change the system if we want to. Let’s change the world, let’s invite empathy, let’s celebrate our flaws, sing along in drunk abandon, be kind to each other. LET’S PLAY BINGO! Peace Out Ms T PS. It’s time to plant daffodil and tulip bulbs- no less than 15cm deep in soil or compost. I like to plant then in unexpected places, like other people’s gardens without telling them. Also, concreting over the surface of your bulbs is a sure fire way of preventing those pesky squirrels from digging them up.