our lady of the underground @gaydestown - Tumblr Blog

i think i’m going to become an unreliable narrator. if you see me obscuring the full truth or saying things that directly contradict each other, don’t worry about it.

trr3rr

Nicolas Cage, 2020

lyingfigure

it’s giving too much. he wants to do numbers on tumblr so bad

ovenroastedtwerkey

Well Imma give them to him, cuz that jacket fucks

pastabot

i got nacho cheese on my shirt and a lot of opinions about the government

dntfdpltcxgone-deactivated20190

name one

pastabot

ronald reagan should be dug up and shot again

skellgate

didn’t they do this to a previous pope but instead of being shot his corpse was put on trial

pastabot

sounds exactly like what i want to happen to reagan except for the part where they put his corpse on trial you see i want to dig up ronald reagan and shoot him *adjusts glasses and eats some cheetos*

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

chasing that rat poison high....

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

im immune to it cause im not a rat

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

thank you for getting me to read the funniest sentence upon earth

skarchomp

i bet those colors only shrimp can see suck major ass

bananahomo

jealousy isn’t the way bro

htcd

The shrimp aren’t gonna have sex with you.

bananahomo

you take that back right fucking now

stimman4000

primrosey

Trust me mom, I've been searching LinkedIn for "court jester" and nobody is hiring!

primrosey

No, look, I-

Yes, grandpa was able to walk in, insult the king, and got hired but times have ch-

THAT'LL GET ME BEHEADED!

softblockwashere-deactivated202

kristenbouchard

sometimes you have to pretend your kitchen is a club dance floor and get a little whorish while cooking your frozen pizza. it’s called living deliciously in a pandemic

normal-horoscopes

Imagine the amount of rage j.d. salinger would feel if you wrote a sequel to his Important Big Boy Book in which Holden calls something "hella poggers"

normal-horoscopes

"kissing my boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time is hella poggers" --Holden Caulfield, after killing a vampire in Catcher in the Rye 2: Blood Moon

nentuaby

Responding to a pandemic in the world’s wealthiest and most powerful nation:

roseverdict

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE APOLOGIZING FOR BECAUSE I’M COMPLETELY CONFUSED

nentuaby

The RNA vaccines approved for COVID-19 in the US both need to be distributed at extremely low temperatures. Like 40F lower than any other mass-distributed medicine.

It turns out the Dippin Dots company runs the only nationwide supply chain that’s ever operated at those temperatures. So all these big serious health orgs are consulting the expertise of, and even exploring renting equipment from, The Ice Cream of the Future™️.

roseverdict

WODJSKXNSIJXSKD

krystal-prisms

I beg your pardon

fireleaptfromhousetohouse

clonetrobed

- A luxury you can’t live without? - A luxury I can’t live without? Coffee. I really like good coffee. - That’s not a luxury, you can get it anywhere. - …I like nice socks?

aesopquarriman

[id: gifs of larry king interviewing danny pudi. larry says, “that’s not a luxury, though. coffee and socks are not a luxury. danny says, “alright, give me a luxury. which - … what luxury should i have?“larry says, “a private plane.” danny says, a bit incredulously, “…. larry, i’m on ducktales.” end id]