One Nice Bug Per Day
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@gaysparklepires
Please finish writing this wonderful story, I want a happy ending for these characters, I need to know when Jacob and Liam are going to get married!!!! You can make an epilogue in Breaking Dawn for these two if you want to leave a door open to return to this saga, but it's just a suggestion!!!!!!
It’s on my to-do-list, I promise!
I need to go back and reread everything and reconnect with it and dig up all my notes and research.
just caught up on the series and i loved it so much! i hope to see it completed at some point
Oh hey hi! Thank you so much! It’s my deepest desire to finish this dang series. I need to sit and reread the whole thing and get myself back in the headspace for it.
Hello! I’m still floating around.
It’s been brought to my attention that Twilight Revamped is making the rounds in some TikTok circles?? What??? That’s crazy! Send me links, I wanna see. 😂
Hi, I just found this thanks to TikTok .
I hope you are still just busy with having a life and that inspiration hasn't gotten to you, because this series is great , amazing and I'm having to space my reading of it because it's still in progress (i refuse to believe it's incomplete)
Thank for your work and for sharing your writing.
Please know that there are still people enjoying it.
* disclaimer: English is not my first language, so I hope I express my idea right.
Heeey buddy…you still with us?
just barely lol. I've been insanely busy with... god, so much. But I'm still kicking and I still think about finishing this dang series.
Please tell me you haven't given up on this. You're so close to finishing breaking dawn Please don't give up on it.
I haven’t! I really haven’t! Real life just got in the way — I want to pick it back up soon though!
You're alive! You exist! Yay!
I do! I’m just stuck with writing and been taking a very long break to try and work through it. 😅
I’ve been saying I’m going to finish Breaking Dawn and by [insert deity of choice], I’m going to. I’ve just hit a massive wall of writer’s block with the section in on. Thank you to everyone who still reads these rewrites, y’all the best. I’m going to keep working on Breaking Dawn Revamped and this might be the year I finally get it done.
If you like my writing, I’ve been working on some personal projects over the last several months as well; two webcomics over on Tapas:
Battleborn: a queer fantasy story about a warrior and a sorcerer on a quest to save a kingdom from ancient powers and a mad king.
Not Your Average Demon: a queer romance about an Incubus prince and the Demi book nerd he’s stuck in a contract with.
Hope all is good plz be safe and have fun I was wondering where can I read ur stories
Hi! You can read them on Archive of Our Own! There are links in my tumblr!
Hey just wanted to see if everything is alright you haven't updated in awhile hope you are ok
I am, thank you for checking. :)
where are you? i hope you're ok... will you be updating breaking dawn anytime soon? :)
Hi! I am doing okay! I’ll finish Breaking Dawn hopefully this year. I will. I just needed a break from that mess of a book and the break... went on for a while. 🙃
Hi there! I just recently found your work on AO3 and really enjoyed it. It sparked something in my little gay heart, and gave me something to read during quarantine. I searching to see it I could find updates on other sites and found this tumblr. As I’ve seen that there are no updates/posts neither here nor on AO3 since August I was wondering if you have plans on finishing the series, or if there are any updates on the graphic novel. Thank you for your time and for the rewrites. Best wishes.
Hi! Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it. I hit a bit of a wall with the rewrite because I have a general idea of how I want to wrap it all up, but the execution just wasn’t happening. So I took a break (there was also the New Moon Break, and the Eclipse Break which similarly lasted for months. I think there was an early Breaking Dawn Break... because hell, reworking that mess of a book is a lot). I’d like to get back to Breaking Dawn very soon. Especially with the official Midnight Sun coming out.
I also want to go back through all the books and further refine it and fix some little things I missed the first time around.
I vote we officially replace all of canon with the Twilight: Revamped series by JGluum on AO3.
Literally every single fucking thing is just *chefs kiss*
Hi, hello, I do have a dusty old tumblr.
😄
I guess I might as well reveal what I’ve been working on this week in lieu of a Breaking Dawn Revamped update.
I’m officially getting started on my long talked about graphic novel adaption of Twilight Revamped. Here’s a (very very rough and unfinished) preview of the first page I’m working on.
Would this be something you guys would be interested in??
30. First Round
Read on OA3 - Links up Top!
How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J. Jenks, and why did Alice want me to know about him?
If Alice’s clue didn’t prove to be helpful, what could I do to save those I loved?
How were Edward and I going to explain things to Taras and his family in the morning? What if they reacted like Ivan? What if it turned into a fight?
I didn’t know how to fight. How was I going to learn in just a month? Was there any chance at all that I could be taught fast enough that I might be a danger to any one member of the Volturi? Or was I doomed to be totally useless? Just another easily dispatched problem?
So many answers I needed, but I did not get the chance to ask my questions.
Wanting some shred of normality, I’d insisted on staying in the cottage that night. Jacob was more comfortable in his wolf form at the moment; the stress was easier dealt with when he felt ready for a fight. I wished that I could feel the same, could feel ready. He ran in the woods, on guard again.
Once we were back at the cottage, I tried to unobtrusively search to see if there was a chance Alice had left something—anything else that could help me. When my search proved in vain, I returned to the front room of the cottage to ask my questions of Edward. The ones I was able to ask, at any rate; one of the most difficult problems was the idea of trying to hide anything from him, even with the advantage of my silent thoughts.
He stood with his back to me, staring into the fire.
“Edward, I—”
He spun and was across the room in what seemed like no time at all, not even the smallest part of a second. I only had time to register the ferocious expression on his face before his lips were crushing against mine and his arms were locked around me like steel girders.
I didn’t think of my questions again for the rest of that night. It didn’t take long for me to grasp the reason for his mood, and even less time to feel exactly the same way.
I’d been planning on needing years just to somewhat organize the overwhelming passion I felt for him physically. And then centuries after that to enjoy it. If we had only a month left together... Well, I didn’t see how I could stand to have this end. For the moment I couldn’t help but be selfish. All I wanted was to love him as much as possible in the limited time given to me.
It was hard to pull myself away from him when the sun came up, but we had our job to do, a job that might be more difficult than all the rest of our family’s searches put together. As soon as I let myself think of what was coming, I was all tension; it felt like my nerves were being stretched on a rack, thinner and thinner.
“I wish there was a way to get the information we need from Elena before we tell them about everything,” Edward muttered as we hurriedly dressed in the huge closet that was more reminder of Alice than I wanted at the moment. “Just in case.”
“But she wouldn’t understand the question to answer it,” I agreed. “Do you think they’ll let us explain?”
“I don’t know.”
I couldn’t waste one second of time today. There were answers I needed and I wasn’t sure how much time Edward and I would have alone today. If all went well with Taras’s family, hopefully we would have company for an extended period.
“Edward, will you teach me how to fight?” I asked him, tensed for his reaction, as he held the door for me.
It was what I expected. He froze, and then his eyes swept over me with a deep significance, like he was looking at me for the first or last time.
“If it comes to a fight, there won’t be much any of us can do,” he hedged.
I kept my voice even. “Would you leave me unable to defend myself?”
He swallowed convulsively, and the door shuddered, hinges protesting, as his hand tightened. Then he nodded. “When you put it that way... I suppose we should get to work as soon as we can.”
I nodded, too, and we started toward the big house. We didn’t hurry.
I wondered what I could do that would have any hope of making a difference. I was unique, to be sure, and I was a tiny bit special, in my own way—if having a supernaturally thick skull could really be considered special. Was there any use that I could put that toward?
“What would you say their biggest advantage is? Do they even have a weakness?”
Edward didn’t have to ask to know I meant the Volturi.
“Alec and Jane are their greatest offense,” he said emotionlessly, like we were talking of a basketball team. “Their defensive players rarely see any real action.”
“Because Jane can burn you where you stand—mentally at least. What does Alec do? Didn’t you once say he was even more dangerous than Jane?”
“Yes. In a way, he is the antidote to Jane. She makes you feel the worst pain imaginable. Alec, on the other hand, makes you feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sometimes, when the Volturi are feeling kind, they have Alec anesthetize someone before he is executed. If he has surrendered or pleased them in some other way.”
“Anesthetic? But how is that more dangerous than Jane?”
“Because he cuts off your senses altogether. No pain, but also no sight or sound or smell. Total sensory deprivation. You are utterly alone in the blackness. You don’t even feel it when they burn you.”
I shivered. Was this the best we could hope for? To not see or feel death when it came?
“That would make him only equally as dangerous as Jane,” Edward went on in the same detached voice, “in that they both can incapacitate you, make you into a helpless target. The difference between them is like the difference between Aro and me. Aro hears the mind of only one person at a time. Jane can only hurt the one object of her focus. I can hear everyone at the same time.”
I felt cold as I saw where he was going. “And Alec can incapacitate us all at the same time?” I whispered.
“Yes,” he said. “If he uses his gift against us, we will all stand blind and deaf until they get around to killing us—maybe they’ll simply burn us without bothering to tear us apart first. Oh, we could try to fight, but we’ll be more likely to hurt one another than we would be to hurt one of them.”
We walked in silence for a few seconds.
An idea was shaping itself in my head. Not very promising, but better than nothing.
“Do you think Alec is a very good fighter?” I asked. “Aside from what he can do, I mean. If he had to fight without his gift. I wonder if he’s ever even tried...”
Edward glanced at me sharply. “What are you thinking?”
I looked straight ahead. “Well, he probably can’t do that to me, can he? If what he does is like Aro and Jane and you. Maybe... if he’s never really had to defend himself... and I learned a few tricks—”
“He’s been with the Volturi for centuries,” Edward cut me off, his voice abruptly panicked. He was probably seeing the same image in his head that I was: the Cullens standing helpless, senseless pillars on the killing field—all but me. I’d be the only one who could fight. “Yes, you’re surely immune to his power, but you are still new in this life, Beau. I can’t make you that strong a fighter in a few weeks. I’m sure he’s had training.”
“Maybe, maybe not. It’s the one thing I can do that no one else can. Even if I can just distract him for a while—” Could I last long enough to give the others a chance?
“Please, Beau,” Edward said through his teeth. “Let’s not talk about this.”
“Be reasonable.”
“I will try to teach you what I can, but please don’t make me think about you sacrificing yourself as a diversion—” He choked and didn’t finish.
I nodded. I would keep my plans to myself, then. First Alec and then, if I was miraculously lucky enough to win, Jane. If I could only even things out—remove the Volturi’s overwhelming offensive advantage. Maybe then there was a chance... My mind raced ahead. What if I wasable to distract or even take them out? Honestly, why would either Jane or Alec ever have needed to learn battle skills? I couldn’t imagine petulant little Jane surrendering her advantage, even to learn.
If I was able to kill them, what a difference that would make.
“I have to learn everything. As much as you can possibly cram into my head in the next month,” I murmured.
He acted as if I hadn’t spoken.
Who next, then? I might as well have my plans in order so that, if I did live past attacking Alec, there would be no hesitation in my strike. I tried to think of another situation where my thick skull would give me an advantage. I didn’t know enough about what the others did. Obviously, fighters like the huge Felix were beyond me. I could only try to give Emmett his fair fight there. I didn’t know much about the rest of the Volturi guard, besides Demetri…
My face was perfectly smooth as I considered Demetri. Without a doubt, he would be a fighter. There was no other way he could have survived so long, always at the spear point of any attack. And he must always lead, because he was their tracker—the best tracker in the world, no doubt. If there had been one better, the Volturi would have traded up. Aro didn’t surround himself with second best.
If Demetri didn’t exist, then we could run. Whoever was left of us, in any case.
And... if Demetri didn’t exist, then Alice and Jasper could be safe forever. Is that what Alice had seen? That part of our family could continue? The two of them, at the very least.
Could I begrudge her that?
“Demetri...,” I said.
“Demetri is mine,” Edward said in a hard, tight voice. I looked at him quickly and saw that his expression had turned violent.
“Why?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer at first. We were to the river when he finally murmured, “For Alice. It’s the only thanks I can give her now for the last fifty years.”
So his thoughts were in line with mine.
I heard Jacob’s heavy paws thudding against the frozen ground. In seconds, he was pacing beside me, his dark eyes focused on mine.
I nodded to him once, then returned to my questions. There was so little time.
“Edward, why do you think Alice told us to ask Elena about the Volturi? Has she been in Italy recently or something? What could she know?”
“Elena knows everything when it comes to the Volturi. I forgot you didn’t know. She used to be one of them.”
Jacob growled beside me.
“What?” I demanded, in my head picturing the beautiful dark-haired woman at our wedding wrapped in a long, ashy cloak.
Edward’s face was softer now—he smiled a little. “Elena is a very gentle person. She wasn’t entirely happy with the Volturi, but she respected the law and its need to be upheld. She felt she was working toward the greater good. She doesn’t regret her time with them. But when she found Carmen, she found her place in this world. They are very similar people, both very compassionate for vampires.” He smiled again. “They met Taras and his family, and they never looked back. They are well suited to this lifestyle. If they’d never found Taras, I imagine they would have eventually discovered a way to live without human blood on their own.”
The pictures in my head were jarring. I couldn’t make them match up. A compassionate Volturi soldier?
Edward glanced at Jacob and answered a silent question. “No, she wasn’t one of their warriors, so to speak. She had a gift they found convenient.”
Jacob must have asked the obvious follow-up question.
“Elena has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others—the extra abilities that some vampires have,” Edward told him. “She could give Aro a general idea of what any given vampire was capable of just by being in proximity with him or her. This was helpful when the Volturi went into battle. Elena could warn them if someone in the opposing coven had a skill that might give them some trouble. That was rare; it takes quite a skill to even inconvenience the Volturi for a moment. More often, the warning would give Aro the chance to save someone who might be useful to him. Elena’s gift works even with humans, to an extent. She has to really concentrate with humans, though, because the latent ability is so nebulous. Aro would have her test the people who wanted to join, to see if they had any potential. Aro was sorry to see Elena go.”
“They let her go?” I asked. “Just like that?”
His smile was darker now, a little twisted. “The Volturi aren’t supposed to be the villains, the way they seem to you. They are the foundation of our peace and civilization. Each member of the guard chooses to serve them. It’s quite prestigious; they all are proud to be there, not forced to be there.”
I frowned, troubled by this.
“They’re only alleged to be heinous and evil by the criminals, Beau.”
“We’re not criminals.”
Jacob huffed in agreement.
“They don’t know that.”
“Do you really think we can make them stop and listen?”
Edward hesitated just the tiniest moment and then shrugged. “If we find enough friends to stand beside us. Maybe.”
If. I suddenly felt the urgency of what we had before us today. Edward and I both started to move faster, breaking into a run. Jacob caught up quickly.
“Taras shouldn’t be too much longer,” Edward said. “We need to be ready.”
How to be ready, though? We arranged and rearranged, thought and rethought. Have me in full view? Or hidden at first? Jacob in the room? Or outside? He’d told his pack to stay close but invisible. Should he do the same?
In the end, Jacob—in his human form again—and I waited around the corner from the front door in the dining room, sitting at the big polished table. Jacob sat a few chairs from me; he wanted space in case he had to phase quickly.
Though I was glad to have Jacob nearby, it made me feel useless. It reminded me that in a fight with mature vampires, I was no more than an easy target; I didn’t know how to protect myself.
I tried to remember Taras, Kate, Carmen, and Elena from the wedding. Their faces were murky in my ill-lit memories. I only knew they were beautiful, two blondes and two brunettes. I couldn’t remember if there was any kindness in their eyes.
Edward leaned motionlessly against the back-window wall, staring toward the front door. It didn’t look like he was seeing the room in front of him.
We listened to the cars zooming past out on the freeway, none of them slowing.
“I really made everything as difficult as I possibly could, didn’t I?” I murmured, mostly to myself.
“What do you mean, Beau?” Jacob asked, though he was looking towards the front room. Edward’s eyes locked on to me.
“If I had just let Edward and Carlisle change me as soon as I got sick…”
“Beau, love, you can’t know how that would have changed things.” Edward argued.
“But I’d be a full vampire, the Volturi wouldn’t be confused about what I was.” I countered.
“Maybe, but I wouldn’t have stuck around.” Jacob frowned. “I wouldn’t be here with you.”
“But you’d be safe!” I insisted. “They wouldn’t be coming after you or the rest of the pack.”
“Unless Sam changed his mind and attacked the Cullens for breaking the treaty—or if I had gone ballistic.” He frowned, watching me carefully.
“Jake, I can’t see how this is anything but my fault.”
“No,” Jacob and Edward said at the same time, but before they could argue further, we heard the sound we’d been waiting for: the slowing of an engine on the freeway, the tires moving from pavement to soft dirt.
Edward darted around the corner to stand waiting by the door. Jacob and I stared at each other across the table, desperation on our faces.
The car moved quickly through the woods, faster than Charlie or Sue drove. We heard it pull into the meadow and stop by the front porch. Four doors opened and closed. They didn’t speak as they approached the door. Edward opened it before they could knock.
“Edward!” a male voice enthused.
“Hello, Taras. Kate, Elena, Carmen.” Three murmured hellos.
“Carlisle said he needed to talk to us right away,” the first voice said, Taras. I could hear that they all were still outside. I imagined Edward in the doorway, blocking their entrance. “What’s the problem? Trouble with the werewolves?”
Jacob rolled his eyes.
“No,” Edward said. “Not precisely at least. Our truce with the werewolves is stronger than ever.”
A woman chuckled.
“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Taras asked. And then he continued without waiting for an answer. “Where’s Carlisle?”
“Carlisle had to leave.”
There was a short silence.
“What’s going on, Edward?” Taras demanded.
“If you could give me the benefit of the doubt for just a few minutes,” he answered. “I have something difficult to explain, and I’ll need you to be open-minded until you understand.”
“Is Carlisle all right?” a female voice asked anxiously. Elena.
“None of us is all right, Elena,” Edward said, and then he patted something, maybe Elena’s shoulder. “But physically, Carlisle is fine.”
“Physically?” Taras asked sharply. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that my entire family is in very grave danger. But before I explain, I ask for your promise. Listen to everything I say before you react. I am begging you to hear me out.”
A longer silence greeted his request. Through the strained hush, Jacob and I stared wordlessly at each other. His russet lips paled.
“We’re listening,” Taras finally said. “We will hear it all before we judge.”
“Thank you, Taras,” Edward said fervently. “We wouldn’t involve you in this if we had any other choice.”
Edward moved. We heard four sets of footsteps walk through the doorway. Someone sniffed. “I knew those werewolves were involved,” Taras muttered.
“Yes, and they’re on our side. Again.”
The reminder silenced Taras.
“Where’s your Beau?” one of the other female voices asked. “How is he?”
“He’ll join us shortly. He’s well, thank you.” Edward hesitated, minutely. “He’s taken to immortality with amazing finesse.”
“Tell us about the danger, Edward,” Taras said quietly. “We’ll listen, and we’ll be on your side, where we belong.”
Edward took a deep breath. “I’d like you to witness for yourselves first. Listen—in the other room. What do you hear?”
It was quiet, and then there was movement.
“Just listen first, please,” Edward said.
“A werewolf, I assume. I can hear his heart,” Taras said.
“What else?” Edward asked.
There was a pause.
“What is that other beat?” Kate or Carmen asked. “It’s so slow…”
“Yes, and remember how distinct it is—how different. Now, what do you smell? Besides the werewolf.”
“Is there a human here?” Elena whispered.
“No,” Taras disagreed. “It’s not human… but… closer to human than the rest of the scents here. What is that, Edward? It’s… almost familiar. Like I’ve smelled it before.”
“You have, Taras. But what else can you discern from that scent?”
A pause.
“It’s more human than we are…” Taras said slowly, “but it isstill like us in some ways.”
“Now, please, Taras, pleaseremember to listen. Throw away your preconceived notions.”
“I promised you I would listen, Edward.”
“All right, then. Beau? Please come here.”
My legs felt strangely numb, but I knew that feeling was all in my head. I forced myself not to hold back, not to move sluggishly, as I got to my feet and walked the few short feet to the corner. The heat from Jacob’s body flamed close behind me as he shadowed my steps.
I took one step into the bigger room and then froze, unable to force myself farther forward. I took a deep breath.
I thought I’d prepared myself for their reaction. For accusations, for shouting, for the motionlessness of deep stress.
Taras staggered back a few steps as he looked me over, confusion overwhelming his expression. Kate narrowed her eyes. Elena moved slightly in front of Carmen, holding her arms out protectively.
“Congrats, you freaked out the vampires,” I heard Jacob tease under his breath.
Edward put his arm around me. “Now before you jump to conclusions—” he began.
“What’s going on here, Edward?” Taras exclaimed. “Are you trying to test the Volturi? Carlisle told us you needed to change him!”
“What’s… wrongwith him?” Kate’s narrowed eyes were focused like lasers on me.
“Edward this isn’t wise.” Elena sighed.
“Wait,” Edward said, his voice harder now. “Remember what you hear, what you smell. Now look at what you can see.”
“I see a human!” Taras snapped back.
“Taras,” Edward said sharply, “Listen to how slow his heartbeat is! Think about his scent! And look at him!”
“His heart…” Carmen whispered, peering around Elena’s shoulder.
“He’s not a full vampire, no,” Edward said, answering an unspoken thought and directing his attention toward Carmen’s more open expression. “But he’s half-vampire.”
The four vampires stared at him like he was speaking a language none of them knew.
“Hear me.” Edward’s voice shifted into a smooth velvet tone of persuasion. “Beau was very sick—he was dying. Carlisle didn’t not believe he would survive the transformation. When we finally did attempt to change him…” Edward paused, only for a briefest second, “Something happened. Beau awoke as you see him now. Half-vampire and half-human.”
Taras’s mouth was hanging open, he didn’t seem aware of it.
“Edward, I don’t understand.” Elena was shaking her head.
“You hear his heart, don’t you? It’s too slow for a human. His scent, it’s human and vampire.” Edward said as calmly as he could manage.
“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Elena said. Her shoulders were still stiff, her expression cold.
“Come now, Elena. Open your mind.”
It was Carmen who responded to Edward’s words. She stepped around Elena, ignoring her half-articulated protest, and walked carefully to stand right in front of me. She examined me carefully, taking in every detail.
“Your eyes have always been beautiful,” she said in a low, calm voice, “but now they almost glow with an inner light, don’t they?” And then, as if she could not help herself, she smiled.
“Thank you,” I breathed.
They all glanced at each other at the sound of my voice.
“May I?” Carmen held out a hand toward my face.
I nodded once.
She gently placed a hand on my cheek, her head tilted slightly to the side. “You are warm, but… too cold for a human.” She leaned in closer and sniffed. “Your heart beats, but I smell no blood in you—not blood I would desire, at least.”
“What?” Taras demanded, coming closer. “How?”
Elena approached now. Reaching out her hand, “Please?” she glanced down at my own hand, her expression still cold.
I put my hand in hers, she felt my skin, examined my face. “Ah,” she nodded. “How very strange. But I see now. You are not human, not strictly speaking.”
“How did this happen?” Kate asked, coming closer now.
“When I was dying,” I answered, “I needed a blood transfusion.”
“We had few options,” Edward continued, “So we took a chance on a theory.” His eyes darted over to Jacob.
“You used the werewolf’s blood?” Taras’s voice was shocked.
“Hey.” Jacob grumbled.
“Jacob and his people possess advanced healing, we hoped that this would help Beau—and it did. It made him stronger. But the werewolves’ blood is not compatible with our venom. The end result…” Edward tightened his arm around me.
“A half-vampire.” Elena whispered.
“Will the Volturi accept this?” Taras asked Elena.
“He is no longer a mortal,” Elena replied. “If anything, he would be better adept at hiding the secret of the immortals than any of us.”
“They’d be confused.” Kate added. “But they’d understand, I’m sure.”
“So what is this grave danger you warned us of?” Taras asked. “Surely, you’re concerned about how they will react. The Volturi would be cautious but why—”
“The Volturi have been told that Beau is still human, and they’ve been informed of our friendship with the werewolves.” Edward answered, darkly.
The four vampires looked panicked now.
“The Volturi will not honor a truce with werewolves, Edward.” Elena’s voice was grave. “Believe me, I know.”
“We had intended to send Beau alone to meet with the Volturi. His thoughts are protected from Aro and so Beau could hide the wolves’ involvement.”
“But who would do this to you?” Taras was angry now. “Why?”
“When Ivan saw Beau that day in the mountains,” Edward explained. “Beau hadn’t hunted for several weeks. He appears more human when he doesn’t hunt, and he had Jacob with him.”
Kate hissed, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Ivan did this? To you? To Carlisle? Ivan?”
“No,” Taras whispered. “Someone else…”
“Alice saw him go to them,” Edward said. I wondered if the others noticed the way he winced just slightly when he spoke Alice’s name.
“How could he do this thing?” Elena asked of no one.
“Imagine if you had seen Beau, looking even more human than he does now. Imagine if you knew the Volturi demanded he be changed.” Edward said.
“When Ivan saw me, I was telling Jacob how happy I was that everything worked out—that I could stay in Forks, still be around my human family and friends.”
Taras and Kate’s eyes widened slightly as understanding began to dawn on them. The memory of their mother who refused to let go of her human life bringing pain into their expressions.
“Jacob changed into his wolf form when he sensed Ivan and Ivan didn’t wait for our explanation.” Edward continued.
Taras’s eyes tightened. “No matter what he thought—what he might have felt… You are our family.”
“There’s nothing we can do about Ivan’s choice now. It’s too late. Alice gave us a month.”
Both Taras’s and Elena’s heads cocked to one side. Kate’s brow furrowed.
“So long?” Elena asked.
“They are all coming. That must take some preparation.”
Elena gasped. “The entire guard?”
“Not just the guard,” Edward said, his jaw straining tight. “Aro, Caius, Marcus. Even the wives.”
Shock glazed over all their eyes.
“Impossible,” Elena said blankly.
“I would have said the same two days ago,” Edward said.
Elena scowled, and when she spoke it was nearly a growl. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would they put themselves and the wives in danger?”
“It doesn’t make sense from that angle. Alice said there was more to this than just punishment for what they think we’ve done. She thought you could help us.”
“More than punishment? But what else is there?” Elena started pacing, stalking toward the door and back again as if she were alone, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the floor.
“Where are the others, Edward? Carlisle and Alice and the rest?” Taras asked.
Edward’s hesitation was almost unnoticeable. He answered only part of her question. “Looking for friends who might help us.”
Taras leaned toward him, holding his hands out in front of him. “Edward, no matter how many friends you gather, we can’t help youwin. We can only die with you. You must know that. Of course, perhaps the four of us deserve that after what Ivan has done now, after how we’ve failed you in the past—for his sake that time as well.”
Edward shook his head quickly. “We’re not asking you to fight and die with us, Taras. You know Carlisle would never ask for that.”
“Then what, Edward?”
“We’re just looking for witnesses. If we can make them pause, just for a moment. If they would let us explain…” He touched my cheek. “Prove that Beau has been changed, or at least that we did our best to change him. Explain that the wolves present no immediate danger to them. Champion the Volturi to show us some mercy.”
Taras nodded slowly. “Do you think they will listen?”
“I don’t know. If Ivan had only given us a chance to explain before going to the Volturi we may have been able to avoid this entirely.”
“Beau still would have had to convince the Volturi his change was… satisfactory.” Kate raised an eyebrow.
“Beau,” Elena said quietly, still pacing, “is a rare creature. Aro would not risk destroying anything so unique without pause.”
“We can witness to the quality of our family.” Carmen finally said in a decided tone. “We can add our voices to yours. The Volturi are strict, but they are not without mercy.”
“Without mercy…” Elena repeated, still distant.
“Yes, we can witness for you,” Taras said. “Certainly that much. We will consider what more we might do.”
“Taras,” Edward protested, hearing more in his thoughts than there was in his words, “we don’t expect you to fight with us.”
“If the Volturi won’t pause to listen to our witness, if they will not show mercy, we cannot simply stand by,” Taras insisted. “Of course, I should only speak for myself.”
Kate snorted. “Do you really doubt me so much, brother?”
Taras smiled widely at her. “It is a suicide mission, after all.”
Kate flashed a grin back and then shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m in.”
“I, too, will do what I can do protect you all,” Carmen agreed. “Do not be so troubled, Beau.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek.
“Thank you, all of you.” I said quietly.
For a moment I thought that maybe what we were attempting might be possible. Maybe we would be shown mercy by our enemies.
And then I remembered that Alice had left us, and my hope vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
From the Writer’s Desk
Hello!
Sorry for the delay on the update this week. The AC in my apartment went out and it’s been ridiculously hot here and things have been rather hectic.
I should be back on track this coming weekend and I’m hoping to have another chapter of Bella/Edythe up this week.
-J
29. Defection
Read on AO3 - Links up top!
We sat there all night long, statues of horror and grief, and Alice never came back.
We were all at our limits—frenzied into absolute stillness. Carlisle had barely been able to move his lips to explain it all to Jacob. The retelling seemed to make it worse; even Emmett stood silent and still from then on.
It wasn’t until the sun slowly crept into the sky that I wondered for the first time what could possibly be taking Alice so long. I’d hoped to know actually know something before much longer. To have some answers. Some tiny, tiny portion of hope so that I could move again and no longer feel like ice.
My face felt permanently set into the fixed mask I had worn all night. I wasn’t sure I had the ability to smile anymore.
Jacob was breathing evenly in the corner, a mountain of fur on the floor, twitching anxiously in his sleep. Sam knew everything—the wolves were readying themselves for what was coming. Not that this preparation would do anything but get them killed with the rest of my family.
The sunlight broke through the back windows, sparkling on Edward’s skin. My eyes had not moved from his since Alice’s departure. We’d stared at each other all night, staring at what neither of us could handle losing: the other. I saw my reflection glow in his agonized eyes as the sun touched over my own skin.
His eyebrows moved an infinitesimal bit, then his lips.
“Alice,” he said.
The sound of his voice was like ice cracking as it melted. All of us fractured a little, softened a little. Moved again.
“She’s been gone a long time,” Royal murmured, surprised.
“Where could she be?” Emmett wondered, taking a step toward the door.
Esme wrapped her arms around herself. “We don’t want to disturb…”
“She’s never taken so long before,” Edward said. New worry splintered the mask his face had become. His features were alive again, his eyes suddenly wild with fresh fear, extra panic. “Carlisle, you don’t think—something preemptive? Would Alice have had time to see if they sent someone for her?”
Aro’s translucent-skinned face filled my head. Aro, who had seen into all the corners of Alice’s mind, who knew everything she was capable of—
Emmett cussed loud enough that Jacob lurched to his feet with a growl. In the yard, his growl was echoed by his pack. My family was already a blur of action.
“Stay here!” I hissed at Jacob as I sprinted through the door.
I had kept myself well fed since what had happened with Ivan and I was still stronger than the rest of them, and I used that strength to push myself forward. I overtook Esme in a few bounds, and Royal in just a few strides more. I raced through the thick forest until I was right behind Edward and Carlisle.
“Would they have been able to surprise her?” Carlisle asked, his voice as even as if he were standing motionless rather than running at full speed.
“I don’t see how,” Edward answered. “But Aro knows her better than anyone else. Better than I do.”
“Is this a trap?” Emmett called from behind us.
“Maybe,” Edward said. “There’s no scent but Alice and Jasper. Where were they going?”
Alice and Jasper’s trail was curling into a wide arc; it stretched first east of the house but headed north on the other side of the river, and then back west again after a few miles. We re-crossed the river, all six jumping within a second of each other. Edward ran in the lead, his concentration total.
“Did you catch that scent?” Esme called ahead a few moments after we’d leaped the river the second time. She was farthest back, on the far-left edge of our hunting party. She gestured to the southeast.
“Keep to the main trail—we’re almost to the Quileute border,” Edward called back. “Stay together. See if they turned north or south.”
I was not as familiar with the treaty line as the rest of them, but I could smell the hint of wolf in the breeze blowing from the east. Edward and Carlisle slowed a little out of habit, and I could see their heads sweep from side to side, waiting for the trail to turn.
Then the wolf smell was suddenly stronger, and Edward’s head snapped up. He came to a sudden stop. The rest of us froze, too.
“Sam?” Edward asked in a flat voice. “What is this?”
Sam came through the trees a few hundred yards away, walking quickly toward us in his human form, flanked by two big wolves—Paul and Jared. It took Sam a while to reach us; his human pace made me impatient. I didn’t want time to think about what was happening. I wanted to be in motion, to be doing something. I wanted to have my arms around Alice, to know beyond a doubt that she was safe.
I watched Edward’s face go absolutely white as he read what Sam was thinking. Sam ignored him, looking straight at Carlisle as he stopped walking and began to speak.
“Right after midnight, Alice and Jasper came to this place and asked permission to cross our land to the ocean. I granted them that and escorted them to the coast myself. They went immediately into the water and did not return. As we journeyed, Alice told me it was of utmost importance that I say nothing to Jacob about seeing her until I spoke to you. I was to wait here for you to come looking for her and then give you this note. She told me to obey her as if all our lives depended on it.”
Sam’s face was grim as he held out a folded sheet of paper, printed all over with small black text. It was a page out of a book; my sharp eyes read the printed words as Carlisle unfolded it to see the other side. The side facing me was the copyright page from The Merchant of Venice. A hint of my own scent blew off of it as Carlisle shook the paper flat. I realized it was a page torn from one of my books. I’d brought a few things from Charlie’s house to the cottage; a few sets of normal clothes, all the letters from my mother, and my favorite books. My tattered collection of Shakespeare paperbacks had been on the bookshelf in the cottage’s little living room yesterday morning...
“Alice has decided to leave us,” Carlisle whispered.
“What?” Royal’s voice was blank shock.
Carlisle turned the page around so that we all could read.
Don’t look for us. There isn’t time to waste. Remember: Taras, Siobhan, Amun, Alistair, all the nomads you can find. We’ll seek out Peter and Charlotte on our way. We’re so sorry that we have to leave you this way, with no goodbyes or explanations. It’s the only way for us. We love you.
We stood frozen again, the silence total but for the sound of mine and the wolves’ heartbeats, our breathing. Their thoughts must have been loud, too. Edward was first to move again, speaking in response to what he heard in Sam’s head.
“Yes, things are that dangerous.”
“Enough that you would abandon your family?” Sam asked out loud, censure in his tone. It was clear that he had not read the note before giving it to Carlisle. He was upset now, looking as if he regretted listening to Alice.
Edward’s expression was stiff—to Sam it probably looked angry or arrogant, but I could see the shape of pain in the hard planes of his face.
“We don’t know what she saw,” Edward said. “Alice is neither unfeeling nor a coward. She just has more information than we do.”
“We would not—,” Sam began.
“You are bound differently than we are,” Edward snapped. “We each still have our free will.”
Sam’s chin jerked up, and his eyes looked suddenly flat black.
“Edward. Don’t.” My scolding voice sounded raw and rough.
“But you should heed the warning,” Edward went on. “This is not something you want to involve yourselves in. You can still avoid what Alice saw.”
“Don’t get your family slaughtered for pride,” Carlisle interjected quietly.
Sam looked at Carlisle with a softer expression. “As Edward pointed out, we don’t have the same kind of freedom that you have. It is our duty to stay together, to protect the tribe, and to protect each other.” His eyes flickered to Alice’s note, and his lips pressed into a thin line.
“You don’t know her,” Edward said.
“Do you?” Sam asked bluntly.
Carlisle put a hand on Edward’s shoulder. “We have much to do, son. Whatever Alice’s decision, we would be foolish not to follow her advice now. Let’s go home and get to work.”
Edward nodded, his face still rigid with pain. Behind me, I could hear Esme’s quiet, tearless sobs.
I didn’t know how to cry yet in this body; I couldn’t do anything but stare. There was no feeling yet. Everything seemed unreal, like I was dreaming again after all these months. Having a nightmare.
“Thank you, Sam,” Carlisle said.
“I’m sorry,” Sam answered. “We shouldn’t have let her through.”
“You did the right thing,” Carlisle told him. “Alice is free to do what she will. I wouldn’t deny her that liberty.”
I’d always thought of the Cullens as a whole, an indivisible unit. Suddenly, I remembered that it had not always been so. Carlisle had created Edward, Esme, Royal and Emmett; Edward had a hand in making me what I was. We were physically linked by blood and venom. I never thought of Alice and Jasper as separate—as adopted into the family. But in truth, Alice had adopted the Cullens. She had shown up with her unconnected past, bringing Jasper with his, and fit herself into the family that was already there. Both she and Jasper had known another life outside the Cullen family. Had she really chosen to lead another new life after she’d seen that life with the Cullens was over?
We were doomed, then, weren’t we? There was no hope at all. Not one ray, one flicker that might have convinced Alice she had a chance at our side.
The bright morning air seemed thicker suddenly, blacker, as if physically darkened by my despair.
“I’m not going down without a fight,” Emmett snarled low under his breath. “Alice told us what to do. Let’s get it done.”
The others nodded with determined expressions, and I realized that they were banking on whatever chance Alice had given us. That they were not going to give in to hopelessness and wait to die.
Yes, we all would fight. What else was there? And apparently we would involve others, because Alice had said so before she’d left us. How could we not follow Alice’s last warning? The wolves, too, would fight with us for their people, for their brothers.
We would fight, they would fight, and we all would die.
I didn’t feel the same resolve the others seemed to feel. Alice knew the odds. She was giving us the only chance she could see, but the chance was too slim for her to bet on it.
I already felt defeated as I turned my back on Sam’s critical face and followed Carlisle toward home.
We ran automatically now, not the same panicked hurry as before. As we neared the river, Esme’s head lifted.
“There was that other trail. It was fresh.”
She nodded forward, toward where she had called Edward’s attention on the way here. While we were racing to save Alice...
“It has to be from earlier in the day. It was just Alice, without Jasper,” Edward said lifelessly.
Esme’s face puckered, and she nodded.
I drifted to the right, falling a little behind. I was sure Edward was right, but at the same time... After all, how had Alice’s note ended up on a page from my book?
“Beau?” Edward asked in an emotionless voice as I hesitated.
“I want to follow the trail,” I told him, smelling the light scent of Alice that led away from her earlier flight path. I was new to this, but it smelled exactly the same to me, just minus the scent of Jasper.
Edward’s golden eyes were empty. “It probably just leads back to the house.”
“Then I’ll meet you there.”
At first I thought he would let me go alone, but then, as I moved a few steps away, his blank eyes flickered to life.
“I’ll come with you,” he said quietly. “We’ll meet you at home, Carlisle.”
Carlisle nodded, and the others left. I waited until they were out of sight, and then I looked at Edward questioningly.
“I couldn’t let you walk away from me,” he explained in a low voice. “It hurt just to imagine it.”
I understood without more explanation than that. I thought of being divided from him now and realized I would have felt the same pain, no matter how short the separation.
There was so little time left to be together.
I held my hand out to him, and he took it.
“Let’s hurry,” he said. “We should be with the others and explain what happened to Jacob.”
I nodded, and we were running again.
It was probably a silly thing, to waste the time away from everyone just for curiosity’s sake. But the note bothered me. Alice could have carved the note into a boulder or tree trunk if she lacked writing utensils. She could have stolen a pad of paper from any of the houses by the highway. Why my book? When did she get it?
Sure enough, the trail led back to the cottage by a circuitous route that stayed far clear of the Cullens’ house and the wolves in the nearby woods. Edward’s brows tightened in confusion as it became obvious where the trail led.
He tried to reason it out. “She left Jasper to wait for her and came here?”
We were almost to the cottage now, and I felt uneasy. I was glad to have Edward’s hand in mine, but I also felt as if I should be here alone. Tearing out the page and carrying it back to Jasper was such an odd thing for Alice to do. It felt like there was a message in her action—one I didn’t understand at all. But it was my book, so the message mustbe for me. If it were something she wanted Edward to know, wouldn’t she have pulled a page from one of his books...?
“Give me just a minute,” I said, pulling my hand free as we got to the door.
His forehead creased. “Beau?”
“Please? Thirty seconds.”
I didn’t wait for him to answer. I darted through the door, pulling it shut behind me. I went straight to the bookshelf. Alice’s scent was fresh—less than a day old. A fire that I had not set burned low but hot in the fireplace. I yanked The Merchant of Venice off the shelf and flipped it open to the title page.
There, next to the feathered edge left by the torn page, under the words The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare, was a note.
Destroy this.
Below that was a name and an address in Seattle.
When Edward came through the door after only thirteen seconds rather than thirty, I was watching the book burn.
“What’s going on, Beau?”
“She was here. She ripped a page out of my book to write her note on.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know why.”
“Why are you burning it?”
“I—I—” I frowned, letting all my frustration and pain show on my face. I did not know what Alice was trying to tell me, only that she’d gone to great lengths to keep it from anyone but me. The one person whose mind Edward could not read. So she must want to keep him in the dark, and it was probably for a good reason. “It seemed appropriate.”
“We don’t know what she’s doing,” he said quietly.
I stared into the flames. I was the only person in the world who could lie to Edward. Was that what Alice wanted from me? Her last request?
“When we were on the plane to Italy,” I whispered—this was not a lie, except perhaps in context—“on our way to rescue you... she lied to Jasper so that he wouldn’t come after us. She knew that if he faced the Volturi, he would die. She was willing to die herself rather than put him in danger. Willing for me to die, too. Willing for you to die.”
Edward didn’t answer.
“She has her priorities,” I said. It made my still heart ache to realize that my explanation did not feel like a lie in any way.
“I don’t believe it,” Edward said. He didn’t say it like he was arguing with me—he said it like he was arguing with himself. “Maybe it was just Jasper in danger. Her plan would work for the rest of us, but he’d be lost if he stayed. Maybe…”
“She could have told us that. Sent him away.”
“But would Jasper have gone? Maybe she’s lying to him again.”
“Maybe,” I pretended to agree.
“We should go home. There’s no time.” Edward took my hand, and we ran.
Alice’s note did not make me hopeful. If there were any way to avoid the coming slaughter, Alice would have stayed. I couldn’t see another possibility. So it was something else she was giving me. Not a way to escape. But what else would she think that I wanted? Maybe a way to salvage something? Was there anything I could still save?
Carlisle and the others had not been idle in our absence. We’d been separated from them for all of five minutes, and they were already prepared to leave. In the corner, Jacob was human again, his hands in his lap, watching us with wide eyes.
Royal had traded his silk dress shirt and slacks for a sturdy-looking pair of jeans, running shoes, and a button-down shirt made of the thick weave that backpackers used for long trips. Esme was dressed similarly. There was a map of the world on the coffee table, but they were done looking at it, just waiting for us.
The atmosphere was more positive now than before; it felt good to them to be in action. Their hopes were pinned on Alice’s instructions.
I looked at the map and wondered where we were headed first.
“We’re to stay here?” Edward asked, looking at Carlisle. He didn’t sound happy.
“Alice said that we need to gather witnesses. I can only assume to attest to our character in this situation so we have a prayer of pleading our case. We’re going to have to be very careful of how we present it,” Carlisle said. “We’ll send whomever we can find back here to you— Edward, you’ll be the best at fielding that particular minefield.”
Edward gave one sharp nod, still not happy. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.”
“We’re splitting up,” Emmett answered. “Roy and I are hunting for nomads.”
“You’ll have your hands full here,” Carlisle said. “Taras’s family will be here in the morning, and they have no idea why. First, you have to persuade them not to react the way Ivan did. Second, you’ve got to find out what Alice meant about Elena. Then, after all that, will they stay to witness for us? It will start again as the others come—if we can persuade anyone to come in the first place.” Carlisle sighed. “Your job may well be the hardest. We’ll be back to help as soon as we can.”
Carlisle put his hand on Edward’s shoulder for a second and then on mine. Esme hugged us both, and Emmett punched us both on the arm. Royal forced a hard smile for Edward and me and then gave Jacob a parting grimace.
“Good luck,” Edward told them.
“And to you,” Carlisle said. “We’ll all need it.”
I watched them leave, wishing I could feel whatever hope bolstered them, and wishing I could be alone with the computer for just a few seconds. I had to figure out who this J. Jenks person was and why Alice had gone to such lengths to give his name and address to only me.
Jacob shifted uneasily, before finally speaking. “Sounds like we’re a little outnumbered right now. I hope Carlisle’s friends come.” he murmured.
“Jacob…” Edward hesitated.
“What? Well, come on, spit it out,” Jacob said, his voice raw with tension. He was right at his breaking point, just like the rest of us.
“The vampires who are coming are not the same as we are,” Edward said. “Taras’s family is the only one besides ours with a reverence for human life, and even they don’t think much of werewolves. I think it might be safer—”
“I can take care of myself,” Jacob interrupted.
“I know you can.” Edward continued, “But we have to plead our case. We have to show them that Beau has been changed first, then we can discuss the treaty with them.”
“Some friends. They’d turn on you just because of who you hang out with now?”
“The Volturi have made their views on werewolves quite clear in the past. There may not be laws prohibiting friendships between vampires and werewolves, but there’s never been a need for them. I can’t imagine it would be encouraged by the Volturi by any means.”
“Edward…” It was still odd to hear Jacob use Edward’s name without bitterness.
“I know, Jake. I know you want to help, to protect us. We’ll play it by ear—see how they react to Beau and our story. We’ll have to bring you and your people into the situation at some point, but it has to be at the right moment. You, Seth, and Liam are free to use the cottage. As long as you keep a safe distance from the main house…”
“I can do that. Company in the morning, huh?”
“Yes. The closest of our friends. In this particular case, it’s probably better if we get things out in the open as soon as possible. You can stay here. Taras knows about you. He’s even met Seth.”
“Right.”
“You should tell Sam what’s going on. There might be strangers in the woods soon.”
“Good point. Though I owe him some silence after last night.”
“Listening to Alice is usually the right thing.”
Jacob’s teeth ground together, and I could see that he shared Sam’s feelings about what Alice and Jasper had done.
While they were talking, I wandered toward the back windows, trying to look distracted and anxious. Not a difficult thing to do. I leaned my head against the wall that curved away from the living room toward the dining room, right next to one of the computer desks. I ran my fingers against the keys while staring into the forest, trying to make it look like an absentminded thing. I was fairly certain vampires never did anything absentmindedly, but maybe half-vampires did. I didn’t think anyone was paying particular attention to me, but I didn’t turn to make sure. The monitor glowed to life. I stroked my fingers across the keys again. Then I drummed them very quietly on the wooden desktop, just to make it seem random. Another stroke across the keys.
I scanned the screen in my peripheral vision.
No J. Jenks, but there was a Jason Jenks. An art historian and dealer. I brushed the keyboard, trying to keep a rhythm, like the preoccupied stroking of a cat you’d all but forgotten on your lap. Jason Jenks had a fancy website for his gallery, but the address on the homepage was wrong. In Seattle, but in a different zip code. I noted the phone number and then stroked the keyboard in rhythm. This time I searched the address, but nothing at all came up, as if the address didn’t exist. I wanted to look at a map, but I decided I was pushing my luck. One more brush, to delete the history…
I continued staring out the window and brushed the wood a few times. I heard light footsteps crossing the floor to me, and I turned with what I hoped was the same expression as before.
Jacob reached out a hand and put it on my shoulder. “You doing okay, babe?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry about Alice.”
“Me too,” I sighed. “But she’s Alice. She’s doing the right thing, like always.”
The right thing for Alice, anyway. I hated thinking of her that way, but how else could the situation be understood?
I suddenly felt a coolness run down my cheek. I lifted my fingers to my eyes. Tears were running down my face. They weren’t hot, but cold. Cold as I felt inside.
So this is what it felt like to cry now.
“Don’t cry, Beau.” Jacob wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be fine. We’re all going to be fine.”
As he spoke, I could see the faces of everyone I loved flashing in front of my eyes in rapid succession. Everything I held dear; my whole world. I watched in despair as the faces were consumed by a flurry of blood-red cloaks.
But just like in the dimly remembered dreams of my human life, I felt a fire burning inside me; a need to protect. It wouldn’t be easy, but I would find a way. I would protect my family, and—for once—I would save them. I was more positive than ever that this is what Alice would give me. She would know. She would have left me a way.
