party girls don't get hurt

Gemma Alvarez. 24. this is my last hurrah.

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Euphoria (2019—) Created by Sam Levinson

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

“Time is meaningless to me at this point,” Keaton admitted with a casual shrug. Being a musician, a lot of the work he did was freelance or otherwise on his own terms. Typically, he just worked until he physically couldn’t anymore, or around parties and other events. Keaton returned a few moments later with a handful of half-crumbled papers and his guitar. He sat down a few steps above Gemma, attempting to avoid invading her space, but remaining within arm reach so he could pass her the sheet music. While she looked it over, he strummed. He’d been playing it on repeat, so he didn’t even need the notes anymore. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, by the way. You have a beautiful voice.”

“You don’t have to lie, I know I’m just slightly better than a screeching cat,” Gemma joked. She moved a bit up the steps, closer to Keaton as she took the music from him. He had taught her how to read basic stuff back in high school, and she had played the flute for approximately a week and a half before deciding she’d rather hang out under the bleachers than be in the marching band. She looked over the notes and hummed a bit of the melody before looking up at him. She cleared her throat and ran through the chorus once for him. “This is really good Keat. I’m sure they’re going to love it. What kind of ending vibe are you looking for?”

[gemmaxalvarez]

Gemma Alvarez & Keaton Dhami on the last day of junior year.

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

Keaton probably wouldn’t have even brought the topic up if he wasn’t a few drinks deep and, frankly, exhausted. Sharing his insecurities wasn’t generally something he did often, but if it had to be anyone… Gemma was one of the safest people to talk to. She knew him better than most, and had certainly seen him at his worst before. “I guess.” Ever since leaving his last band, Keaton had truthfully been struggling. “Isn’t it like two in the morning?” Admittedly, he hadn’t checked the time in a while, and his phone was still upstairs where he’d left it after reading her message. It didn’t matter, so long as she didn’t mind staying up a little bit later. “I don’t think the actress is even singing the song herself, they probably have a NDA for that too. I wouldn’t worry too much, I appreciate it regardless.” Keaton sped up, now knowing that he had to grab his guitar and any necessary sheet music. “I’ll be right back! If you’re not here when I come back, I’ll assume you changed your mind. No hard feelings if you do.”

“Two in the morning is like my 9 pm, babe,” Gemma said with a grin. It was true, she worked nights at a club in LA and if she was being 100% honest she may have done a line of coke earlier in the night. Even if she was to go inside and into her room she wasn’t going to sleep. She’d probably swipe around on Tinder for a bit or watch Netflix until finally getting to bed around five or six. “Right, double threats are hard to find, naturally someone’s taking care of it for her.” She sat down on the top step as he hurried off, “My lame voice and I will be here. Fingers crossed.” She leaned back and laid so her body could settle comfortably between the stairs to wait for him. 

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

“I started somewhere twenty years ago.” The response came off short, but he hoped she knew it wasn’t because he was angry or upset with her. It just bothered him sometimes that he didn’t amount to anything after so many years of playing music. Nevertheless, he swept it quickly under the rug and moved on. “Actually, the singer is female. It might help to hear someone with a similar vocal range singing it… if you don’t mind. You don’t have to, though, if you were headed up to sleep or anything.”

Gemma didn’t love the tone of his reply, but she knew how frustrated he was with the slow progress of his career and also it was so late, so she chose to ignore it. “You’ll get there, Keat. Slow going is still going.” She mentally kicked herself because it sounded so lame when she said it out loud, but she shrugged it off. “You kidding me? The night is still young!” Gemma could carry a tune, but she definitely wasn’t the world’s best singer or anything. Back when they first started dating, she sometimes fantasized about a world where she also had musical talent and they could go on tour and see the world together, but her lack of vocal talent had squashed that.  Probably for the best, in the end. “I mean, just keep in mind that whoever really sings it will sound infinitely better than me... but so long as you can remember that I’m willing to give it a go.”

[myonlywayoutofhere]

“I was not good for you and you were not good for me but we stayed hoping that maybe things would change”

-Day 384

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

Keaton realized that the conversation had quickly become entirely about him, and in an effort to be less self-absorbed, he nearly asked what she had been up to that night. But, he knew that he probably didn’t want to know. So, he didn’t ask.

The words Keaton and music so often went hand in hand. Without music, Keaton wasn’t sure what his life would be like, or if his life would even be at all. He had an ear for the little things that most would never even notice. He knew he didn’t have to explain that to Gemma. Keaton sighed. Not even just a light sigh, but a heavy, defeated sigh. “Soul destroying, sell-out bullshit, honestly. There’s this new movie that needs an original song, NDA and all.” It wasn’t what he’d ever wanted, but it paid the bills.

Gemma leaned against the wall at the top of the stairs, “Everyone starts somewhere, and money is money.” She said with a shrug. She was about to head in, but she wasn’t tired and she did not want to be alone in her room. “Anything I can help with? I spent the evening listening to soul-destroying sell out bullshit so it’s fresh in my mind.” It might have been weird to ask, falling back into old habits was something she said she wouldn’t do, but it came out before she could stop it. 

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

Keaton didn’t talk about it, but once upon a time Gemma did genuinely break his heart. They broke each other’s hearts, repeatedly. Then, Keaton broke his own heart. Telling her they were over for good. 

Now, they were living together. Sharing a kitchen, passing each other in the stairwell. “Well, I’m sure there will be a day I lose my keys or forget them, too. When the day comes, I know who to call.” Keaton said, jogging up the stairwell. He paused to drum his fingers on the railing. “I just realized how good the acoustics are in the stairwell. Might just be the spark I need.” He had never been great with deadlines. He preferred to just… let things come to him naturally. But, time wasn’t always a luxury he could afford.

Gemma paused as Keaton drummed his fingers on the railing of the stairs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Pretty good.” She said, basing her claim on nothing. Gemma honestly didn’t really know much about music, everything she learned she picked up from dating Keaton. From talking to him about songs, laying in bed with him as he wrote songs or played guitar. She was definitely far from an expert. She looked back at him for a moment before climbing the remainder of the stairs. When they reached the top she ran a hand through her hairs. “So, what project’s keeping you up? Anything fun?” 

[gemmaxalvarez]

ABOUT GEMMA

[andrewbelami]

[gemmaxalvarez]

damnkeaton‌:

Keaton wondered if he was her last resort. Or, if maybe she just knew he’d be the most likely to be still awake. Or, maybe things between them were just… okay. Regardless, he stopped what he was doing as soon as he noticed her text, and headed down the echoey staircase to let her inside. Come to think of it, maybe practicing in the stairwell would be helpful.

As he opened the door, Keaton poked his head outside to see if she was still there. “No worries, Gem.” He stepped outside barefooted to hold the door for her. “Honestly, I was stuck on songwriting and coming down gave me an idea. Sometimes you just need to step away, you know?”

Gemma hurried inside as Keaton held the door open for her. Living with her high school ex probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but Gemma loved her friends and when the idea of living together in this building came up she agreed without thinking through the consequences, as per usual. So far it was going well, aside from the occasional moment where she caught herself missing him, pining a little bit for their good times, and needed to mentally bitch slap herself. She smiled, “Well, I definitely owe you one, Keat.” She said as she started up the stairs, taking them two at a time so she didn’t hold him up getting back to his songwriting.  

They were about halfway up when she decided she couldn’t take the silence anymore. “So, um, what was the idea?”

[gemmaxalvarez]

Gemma looked down at the sent text, hoping for a reply. She had to be better about remembering her keys from now on. Texting them at 3 am is something she definitely did not want to make a habit of.  When a reply didn’t come, she sat down on the steps up into their shared living space and scrolled on Instagram. She was resigned to being locked out until morning. She was searching her contacts for someone to crash with when the click of the door opening shocked her and she jumped a little before climbing to her feet. “Hey... Thanks. Sorry if I woke you,” she said, “I owe you big time for this.”

[sorenkingsley]

[hwangsinb]

[gemmaxalvarez]

we're just walking disasters, a playlist by misstoriwrites on Spotify

A playlist featuring Halsey, blackbear, Cobra Starship, and others

Maybe I'm fucked up, maybe it's love I wanna regret you, I can't give you up Baby, I'm fucked up, maybe it's love I wanna forget you, it'd be easier that way (It's easier that way, oh, it's easier that way, oh)

[gemmaxalvarez]

do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?, a playlist by misstoriwrites on Spotify

A playlist featuring Neon Jungle, Halsey, Lizzo, and others

“This is my last hurrah, once I start I ain't gon' stop 'til I go too far Last hurrah and it's okay Maybe tomorrow I won't feel this pain”

[chinuplittlepup]