all of the noise

poet (romanticizing the truth)

[genderfluidproblemss]

So, i'm inpired.

Wanna talk about Hunter of The Owl House, and why he's so important to me.

Do you ever felt that the only way of being loved is being who you should be?

Or, you were so sure of who you are, but suddenly, you just cannot be this person anymore?

If i'm not that person, who the fuck i am?

What am i living for?

My therapist always ask me why i keep saying things like "who i should be", "what i should do", and not things like "who i am" or "what i want to do". And i really don't know how to answer.

I am a person that was born yesterday.

You had high hopes. You had a bright future. You had a "great" fame, and, most of all, you were the best at following instructions.

For most of people, you were... unloveable?

Lets focus on the present. You have friends now.

But, they really can forget who you were? They can forgive who you were? They can love who you are now?

The thought of being loved by who you should be will always be a shadow. And a shadow just leaves when all the lights go out.

That's why Hunter is a complex, amazing wrote character. And one of the adorable and relatable ones. I just love the way he interact with his new friends, and the tears of being finally seen as the (new) himself.

Just watch The Owl House, guys, you won't regret it, i promise. <3

[estranged-foreigner]

staying up at dawn is so satisfying but so scary, like, spending hours with your own thoughts without distractions is so terrifying

[genderfluidproblemss]

TW// Dissociation?

I'm trying, i guess

But i can't be satisfied with the rest

If i take a long shower, will it pass?

I'll write a full poem

To say nothing

I'll swim in a whole ocean

To try loving

But i can't hang this emotion of absence of power

This pain is so boring

That i feel passed out

I can't understand this reality

With, or without

Myself.

I love people

For real

They are just people, like me

But they feel

I can't receive this love back

I don't deserve it

I feel this feeling like a rope around my neck

I love them

I can hear the crack

They maybe love me back

But they love me?

Or someone else?

I just can't read myself

Or erase myself

Or feel myself

But there's a "be myself"

Behind of each verse

So don't let me endless fall on the universe

I am a hole more than i am a cell

I'm sick about the confusion that i felt

Don't let me stop on Mars

Or let the scars be my stars

Don't let the love be my heart

And the past be my harm

Don't let me confuse myself feeling sick

About to throw up all the feelings here.

I just want to be real.

So, why me?