Understanding and Caring for Our Gamer Friends Living With Depression
It’s never an easy thing to watch the people you love in pain. And too often, we don’t even realize they are in any type of pain. There are different types of depression and different people display and handle their unique symptoms different. And when the whole world is practicing social-distancing and to self-quarantine to protect themselves and others from contracting Covid-19, things can get real pretty quickly for people who are new to experiencing depression.
There is a huge difference between sadness and depression. Often times, sadness can become intense and morph into feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. Better Help says having five or more of the following symptoms for at least two weeks is a sign of depression:
Feeling tired or lacking energy most days
Feeling sadness or grief most of the day, especially in the morning
Difficulty focusing, remembering details or making decisions
Feeling guilty or unworthy almost daily
Inability to sleep or sleeping too much most days
Feeling restless or slowed down
Persistent thoughts about death or suicide
Lack of desire to participate in activities that you used to enjoy
Frequent headaches or body aches and pain with no apparent cause
Depression can make working a normal 9 to 5 job incredibly challenging. And not being able to provide for yourself financially can add to the existing pain of depression—the feeling of worthlessness and helplessness and wondering “WTF is wrong with me. Why can’t I just be normal?” Add to it the stress of losing your job in the midst of a global pandemic and depression can be beyond the nightmarish plane it already exists in.
There is no one cause for depression. In fact, there can be multiple variables contributing to depression. People can also have more than one type of depression, though symptoms of one type may be more pronounced than the other.
So, just what is depression? Depression is a medically diagnosed mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of a depressed mood or sadness and the often profound loss of interest in things that usually bring you pleasure. Depression is diagnosed based on its symptoms.
Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)
Also known as Clinical Depression—it’s the most common form of depression and is characterized by a persistent, depressed mood, loss of interest in activities.
Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD)
Formerly referred to as Dysthymia, PDD is a long-term, but mild form of depression characterized by poor concentration, loss of interest in normal activities, prone to anger, and low moods for at least two years. It’s often accompanied by at least two other forms of depression.
Formerly referred to as Manic Depression—Bipolar Disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings: emotional highs characterized by high energy and lows, characterized by the depressive state. There are four types of Bipolar Disorder: bipolar I disorder, bipolar II disorder, cyclothymic disorder, and bipolar disorder due to another medical or substance abuse disorder
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
Postpartum Depression effects 1 in 7 mothers after giving birth. After giving birth, mothers may experience a drop in progesterone and estrogen, causing extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion and can result in an inability to connect with their baby.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
The dark, cold, limited-sun months of winter can have a very bleak effect on people—some moreso than others. Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD is characterized by changes in mood during seasonal changes. SAD is more prevalent during the Autumn and Winter months. Medical specialists believe SAD “the body's natural schedule/rhythm or changes in the function of chemical messengers in the body, such as serotonin and melatonin. Also believed to be a factor is the lack of exposure to sunlight, reducing the body’s synthesis of Vitamin D.
Symptoms of Atypical Depression can vary from person to person. Despite having the name “atypical”, Atypical Depression is actually quite common. The Mayo Clinic identifies the key signs of Atypical Depression as:
Depression that temporarily lifts in response to good news or positive events
Increased appetite or weight gain
Sleeping too much but still feeling sleepy in the daytime
Heavy, leaden feeling in your arms or legs that lasts an hour or more in a day
Sensitivity to rejection or criticism, which affects your relationships, social life or job
I am not a medical professional and these explanations of the various types of depression are mere summaries. If you believe you or someone you care about has symptoms of depression, there are professionals who can help. With everything going on, many mental healthcare professionals are turning to tele-counseling or tele-healthcare to continue helping patients and people in need.
Living with depression isn’t easy. Some people have learned to manage their depression with medication and some have learned to manage depression without it. Every day is an uphill battle and there is no cure for it. The best many of us can hope to do is learn to manage it and live with it.
So, how can you help care for someone with depression?
It all depends on that person and the type of depression they have. The most important thing you can do for someone with depression, however, is listen to them without trying to fix them or analyze them. Whether they tell you directly what they need,
“I just want want to sleep/be alone”
“I just feel so alone.”
While some people really do need to be left alone to go through it, you still want to keep checking in on them. The most important question you can ask your friend or loved one is, “What can I do to help you?” Sometimes, people need a distraction and playing video games is an excellent distraction to help people escape negative feelings.
Do NOT attempt to use “tough-love” tactics here. Not everyone responds well to “tough-love” and someone with depression may take that as further validation of their perceived worthlessness. In fact, here are several things you do not want to say someone fighting through a depressive episode:
You don’t have anything to be depressed about.
Be grateful for what you have.
You’re not depressed/You don’t look depressed.
Everybody has problems. You’re not special.
You just need a (alcoholic) drink (this is actually very bad because alcohol is a depressant and can increase feelings of depression).
Instead, you want to reassure that person that they are valued, and loved. With most people being quarantined and unable to visit their loved ones, sending a thoughtful text, putting together a care package, make them a dope playlist, or watch a movie together, virtually. Don’t get upset with them if they cancel plans or decline plans. Depression is absolutely energy-draining. If you are social-distancing with them or near them, offer to cook for them and/or do some chores.
And if you suspect they are having thoughts of suicide, let them know that they are not weak for having depression. Offer to help them get professional help. Let them know that you want them in your life.
If you are living with depression, how do you cope/manage? How do you care for your loved ones living with depression?
