Do I Look Dead To You, Weatherboy?

Road hog is my boyfriend and also onions and mint ice cream is good Don't follow me if you have any kins I'm the mun to geneticfeline!

[moromac]

[immentallydeficient-deactivated]

this tweet has literally shaped my entire life

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

an Extra Layer for my followers who didn’t know: the guy who made this tweet is arguably the best tf2 player of all time

[weather-peen]

never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice

[mpregalecki]

NOT TRUE before my nephew leaves my home he always looks my dog straight in the eye and says “Delilah. You are a wonderful woman. Have a good day.”

[papasmoke]

Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet

[papasmoke]

His most mighty Exaltedness would like to request that you fetch him a mint condition DVD of the beloved Earth film; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, failure to do so will result in a fate… worse than death.

[papasmoke]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

shitty-car-mods-daily: *posts literally anything*

everyone on this site (rightfully) in unison: 

[chaosjudgement]

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

[chaosjudgement]

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

[chaosjudgement]

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

[chaosjudgement]

[taquito]

taking my dog to the beach today hes so excited look😊😊

[cutereptiles]

So excited! :D

[genericstr8boy]

ppppppppussy

[kikissh]

New print will debut at Anime Detour! 

[diamondformm]

[gonegenet]

I feel like this is the realest most exposing moment of the 21st century

[mintmilano]

We need to shut all this top/bottom shit up because my straight coworker’s were talking about it the other day and one of them knew what versatile meant. Y'all are too loud

[theelizard]

In case anyone wants to hear what a gecko heartbeat sounds like!

[theelizard]

Tribute to my vet clinic

[the-gif-princess]

[mythicalpiranha-moved-deactivat]

IM LAUGIHNG HARDER THAN EVER RIGHT THIS SECOND

[thischick25]

Reblogging this again because Chris just made me realize that sheep are so stupid that I can’t even think like them:

These sheep? They are actually running away from the car.

They are so stupid that they’re following each other in a circle around the thing they are running from.

[drtanner-dickery]

SHEEPNADO

[sharkbeneaththelotus]

when your group cohesion is set higher than your flee response distance.

[surfcommiesmustdie-deactivated2]

Moshpit

[nevergonnawalkpastafez]

This is actually called a sheep cyclone and it happens because sheep don’t have a hierarchy. In most herds, whichever animal is the leader will sense danger and take off running. The rest of the herd takes it’s cues from the leader and follows. Sheep, on the other hand, don’t have a leader. If the flock runs, they run, and they follow whatever fluffy tail happens to be in front of them. Usually, this works out fine for the sheep. Occasionally, however, the sheep in the front starts following the fluffy tail of the sheep in the back so the whole flock ends up running in circles, going nowhere fast.

[thebootydiaries]

[just-shower-thoughts]

As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise

[kaleighbytheway]

When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”

[queerdungeons]

whys everyone on this site a compulsive liar

[hotvampireadjacent]

and all the lawyers clapped

[ondoinganevildeedblues]

Statistically speaking one of these dumb ass stories is gonna turn out to be true one day and we’ll all look like huge assholes

[gothfortress]

Visit Original Link

@mandal0rian

[kiera--b]

[atthepriceofoblivion]

Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu

Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter

[mydogisabutt]

i worked at build-a-bear in downtown disney and one time a guest came with a grinch and had me force 6 custom sounds into him which was just him breathing really hard and saying “MERRY CHRISTMAS” into each one the thing is, he had me stuff them into the arms, which were stick-thin so the seams were coming up and i was having to repair his now lumpy grinchy arms this took like 45 minutes and all the while the kid was legit trying to remove my kneecaps, his mom was even telling me that she warned someone this would happen and they sent her straight to me ROFLMAO after he was stuffed to the brim and i could hear the soul of the plush screaming at me for what would be the next eternity the kid dressed him up like batman but his mom was like “NO HE HAS TO BE CHRISTMAS” so he put a santa hat on him and also a little plush gingerbread that smelled like actual gingerbread and it ended up looking like this

i clocked out an hour and a half late it was like 1 am