Transitioning
About 5 years the pandemic phase where we shut down happened. I was working an 8-5 job in corporate healthcare, we were asked to work from home until further notice while we supported the nurses that continued to show up to people’s home to provide care. My spouse at the time, kept working in residential HVAC. And our kids embarked on online learning. We had a home that could hold us, our multiple working stations, and us through it.
I’ve been in transition ever since.
Although not the initial spark, this time period was the catalyst that made me realize I needed a change. Whatever I was doing for work- wasn’t “it”.
A year later I would put my 2 month notice in, File a DBA for a passion project as I gave myself intentional space for the first time in my working career since I was 16, To see what was the next step.
And I did just that.
I unwound.
With help, of course, from therapy, family, and the people around me who were lucky enough to witness it.
I fell apart into whatever version of me was coming.
2022, less than 2 years into the pandemic shut-down, I started My master’s program in the first in-person cohort since 2020. That year, I separated from my spouse and my family as I knew it.
Kept unwounding,
Finding meaning in the things I could hold on to. Drives,
Phone calls.
Playlists.
Homework & papers about my personal life.
All, unwinding.
We sold our home. And with it the space it held for us.
In 2023 I began living in Appa, a 1989 camper and the vessel that represents so much of that unwinding and what was yet to come.
I fell apart in ways I didn’t know I could.
And also fixed the lighting.
And also maintained.
I started my first steady job since corporate. I let it go quickly- having learned something new about my capacity
And the places I choose to put it towards.
I took on a new job, a piece
Of my passion project
And made something of it.
At the end of that year I filed for a divorce. And got it 3 days before the new year. I celebrated by myself, that new year. In a home I was creating.
In 2024, my last year of school, I had to increase my capacity by making life easier.
I moved into a new apartment.
I fell in love again
I got busy.
And I graduated- despite it all.
It’s been 5 years since the world changed
And I’m still in that transition.
My body still feels the panic
The stillness
The awakening
The loss
That came with it all.
And the meaning I chose to make of it.
